#i counted at least 10 until now
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i love it when the anime never abides by its own rules
#bwark#anipoke lb#the anime constantly: you MUST be at least 10 years old to own a pokemon#also the anime: *consistently shows children younger than 10 to have pokemon including one of the main characters (iris got her drilbur at#age 6 or 7)*#now that i think about it iris is probably the one who started being a trainer the earlier out of all of ash's companions#unless you count bonnie and dedenne. but dedenne is clemont's pokemon to hold until bonnie is old enough#BECAUSE THAT'S THE RULES THEY ESTABLISHED#whayever. who give a shit#also poppy exists ig. she's canonically nine which iiiiis younger than 10 but close enough ig#but also i refuse to believe she's 9. that is a fucking fetus#*the earliest
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god this is when me avoiding all the fucking admin shit bites me in the ass.
trying to finally sort out all this fucking bullshit with my home country (where i havent lived since before i turned 18 and have no intentions of ever permanently returning to), and of course they're stuck in the 80s or something so everything needs to be signed, stamped, officially translated, approved by three different agencies etc etc etc. and of course i live in an extremely digitalized country now so everything has digital signatures (not accepted by my home country) and i can't even /get/ everything
#herr's personal tag#ugh#fuck this shit. seriously.#i possibly owe them like tens of thousands of dollars in health insurance payments#even tho i havent lived there for years and ive been covered in my current country of residence#and it's illegal to be insured in 2 EU countries at once#and also i counted as a full-time student until about a year ago and full-time students are exempt from having to pay for insurance#and of course my mother was like#âyeah i got it all sortedâ#well#turns out im so fucking stupid i cant even believe it. because of course it's fucking not#and like i know she's full of shit sometimes and i've heard her say stuff related to this that i know was incorrect#i so should have known better. but here we are#so now i gotta#1. fucking finally deregister from both the country and the insurance company so this doesn't keep getting worse#(at least this should be doable tho there might be a fine included for not doing it earlier)#2. get a bunch of documents from my high school and uni#and get those approved as equivalent to full-time studies of the appropriate level#which is gonna be fun because not all of these even exist over here and also my degree was an integrated masters#so there's no clear undergrad/grad division#3. try to retroactively apply to have my insurance payments from all these years forgiven#also 4. get proof that i've been insured over here for the past 10 years and shouldn't owe any insurance payments anyway#because being insured in two countries is impossible under EU law#and also try and get the payments forgiven that way#ughhhhhhhhh#and there's no guarantee they'll accept any of this as i'm doing it all retroactively#and i don't know what my mom has/hasn't done in relation to this as she's definitely faked some power of attorneys etc in the past#and she will 100% lie about this#srsly fuck all this shit. i'm also moving to yet another country in 2 weeks. it's gonna be sooo much fun
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i want to get started on the Full Hands List but i am waiting on my apartment people for scheduled maintenance and i don't really want to start until they leave but i also have no idea what time they'll make it to my apartment so we're just playing the waiting game now
#at my old apartment i was one of the first to get the maintenance bc my apartment number was just higher on the list#so it was usually around 10-11am#but im much further down now and idk how long it'll take#this isn't my FIRST TIME having the preventative maintenance in this apartment but the last times i just went to bed and got woken up#when they knocked#bc i was still on nights and i had no idea how long it'd be and didnt want to stay awake#and i did NOT check the time when they finally arrived#i just let them in and waited until they left so i could go back to sleep lmao#so#we'll see ig#I'm also splitting this into 3 days instead of don't all 3 seasons at once ill do a season a day#largely bc of time in general and how it's like. 12 hours of show.#and im be starting late today bc of *gestures at post*#but also it's going to be LONGER cus i have to pause every time hands shown up so i can note the timestamp#which ofc makes the whole process much. MUCH longer as seen with s3's preliminary run lmao#ough#I'm talking so much jdfjjsjd#also just my attebtion span is NOT great and i need to actually be WATCHING THE SCREEN THE WHOLE ENTIRE TIME#and can't be checking my phone or anything#cus ill miss shots!!!!#i missed at least 2 on my og s1+s2 list and im sure i missed others#i also have to decide how to count the montages#cus there'll be like 2 shots of hands immediately one after the other in the montages#sigh#......... I'll probably count them separately. just for accurate numbers.#which ofc means that ALL of my bonus aren't QUITE right rn cuts ik i lumped montages together#lmao#oh this will be so much fun#shh ac#young royals
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my heart fucking dropped here. Vash compartmentalizing like crazy, and then the reveal of him having used nearly half of his remaining life power...
using his literal life force to give himself time to bury wolfwood and recover...
for His Sake... eat and regain strength for Him...
aaaaand i started crying here for the Fifth Time at the callback to when vash and wolfwood fought over the sausage while eating spaghetti
aaahahaahahaha
and that's the end of volume 10! ahah ha ha h ha
Ha.
#speculation nation#fanny reads trigun#trigun spoilers/#last image. is how i feel right now.#literally. 5 times crying. LITERALLY i have cried only three times total this year besides this#so now i have cried 8 times. and FIVE OF THEM. were for wolfwood.#(yes im keeping track. i cry so rarely it's very easy to keep track of how many times i cry.)#i am. never going to be the same person after this.#my entire vashwood experience up until now was Knowing this was going to happen#recognizing the Painful Things. the Couch. the 'I wanted to share my tomorrows with him'. and so on.#but i really was not prepared. i reaaaaaally was not prepared.#i shouldve fuckin saved this for a time when i dont have a presentation in the morning (that i havent even started)#it's... it's fine... i'll be fine.#ultimately this was happening NOW and i couldnt really stop it.#volume 10. fucking Volume Ten man. nothing else has hit me harder.#really this is a new record. previous records for things that have made me cry were tales of xillia 2 that made me cry twice#critical role calamity made me cry twice. nabari no ou made me cry at Least once & i was fuckin bawling so that counts for smth#but. five times. tears down my face sobbing Five Times. nothing has EVER made me cry this much before. this is literally insane.#oh wolfwood.............
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No official wordcount towards any of my fics, but I did get a few more longfic chapters edited. Yay?
Do you like to collect free Tumblr badges? Did you know if you go into TumblrMart you can collect a free Straw Hat badge? And apparently you can collect it multiple times! I've only watched a handful of One Piece episodes, but hey, a free badge is a free badge (one is good for me).
#i'm counting editing as writing progress#gonna crack down on myself and work on longfic tomorrow#that damn scene is still there in my head#i just gotta figure out how to get it out#maybe if i treat it as a RP reply i'll finally get it written?#i know this chapter won't be posted until after the new year#but i need a decent buffer built up before then#and right now i'm only at 3 chapters that are in the edit queue#i need at least 10 by january T.T#rambling in the tags
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oh the hotel arc is starting it is here
#i had a thought bc of the chapter title#the the opening made me remember that these arcs have wrapped up rather nicely#so we can't end fol on this note#but surprise surprise it is the most open-ended of the bunch#didn't expect to start hotel arc halfway thru the chapter but hey hey hey :)#it makes sense given how fol arc jus ended#this makes me wanna... touch up what happened end of hospice arc#r those 2 jus gonna sit tight or are they headed somewhere#I forgot abt the girls too tho i think now that their mission is done they were gonna lay low#bard on the other hand idk given more... happened tho I'm not sure if those 2 are aware#don't think they were around for the reaper stuff#anyway finny n kids incoming!!! at the very least to the opium den to meet the rest of the gang#their half of the chapter was so funny bc i forgot they were being shot at#then the adults were all like 'yea it was made to be inescapable' n i had to laugh bc..... finny is with them so actually no#super touching that...what's his name i forgor. the one finny saved#that he came around at the end when they surfaced and threw his arms around finny. sweet of him#he didn't even have dialogue this chapter but the emotion was Felt#this actually flew by bc of how little dialogue there was but at least it wasn't 10 pages#ig that was also the anime premiere so yana must've been heckin busy#i forget sometimes how busy not just a mangaka but an artist yana is when I start counting pages#so many responsibilities... how does one person do it all#next time I will get a read tag i prommy. until then hope this is vague enough for ani-onlies#< OOPSIE I do have a tag!!! added#c reads bb
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âepiphanyâ | 21k
worst!logan howlett x f!reader
SUMMARY: Superheroes and mutants werenât enough. Noâthe universe had to throw in soulmates who share scars. Fantastic, right? Except yours had vanished, only to mysteriously reappear with the arrival of a new face: the âWorstâ Logan Howlett, fresh from another earth.
OR What happens when a hopeless romantic crosses paths with the ultimate soulmate skeptic?
WARNINGS/TAGS: mdni smut 18+ strangers to lovers. drinking. cursing. slow burn. angst. pining. mentions of alcohol. fluff. reflecting on the art of writing/poems/books. dual POV. takes place after the events of âdeadpool & wolverineâ. TW: multiple descriptions of scars. worst/variant!logan. implied age gap (readerâs in her late 20s). theyâre both touch starved. wadeâs everyoneâs friend. miscommunication/misunderstandings. oral sex (f and m receiving). fingering, grinding. some slight hair pulling. unprotected p in v, creampie. sex with feelings.
A/N: HOPELESS ROMANTICS RISE! here we go again with another long ass fic. this is a soulmates AU in which you get your soulmateâs scars. if you feel triggered by this topic, please refrain from reading. i had a lot of fun writing this even though it took me a while to get it done. thanks to @lubdubology for being my beta and allowing me to share my work with you. and also thanks to @brushworth for giving me the chance to write this. having said this, enjoy the story! iâd love to know your thoughts on it <3
Love giveth and love taketh away.
To this day, itâs still hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that love is what humans both strive and die for.
If it werenât for love, you wouldnât be here. No one would, actually. Human beings are the result of billions of people who loved each other just enoughâor at least long enough to bring life into the world.
But isnât it in the name of love that people act in bad faith? Why would something so pure be used in vain?
You donât get it, but as the years go by, you slowly come to terms with the idea that perhaps you never will. Not because there isnât a reason, but because youâre in love with the idea of love.
How could you not be? Itâs on the streets, on the bus, at work. Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is. Love is dressed up in an expensive silk robe, a ribbon tied neatly on top of it. You reach closer, trying to unravel it, though it's pointless. The moment love sees youâtruly sees your longing for itâit flees, and you struggle to keep up.
Love runs faster than anyone, hiding within the bushes, counting the seconds until its next appearance.
It had always been a relentless race, your only worry being to catch it before time ran out. But with each day that passed, the finish line only stretched further and further away. Now, they all blur together, to the point where you live and breathe on autopilot.Â
In a Jane Austen novel, youâd be considered a lone woman. That character whoâs nice, and kind, and loved by some, but not in the way she yearns for. Every time sheâs mentioned, you go âOh, the poor girl,â until the slow realization dawns.
In reality, sheâs you, and itâs you who you feel sorry for, not a fictional character. You.
All in all, love giveth. And love also taketh away.Â
Love maketh you miserable.
Soulmatesâa nine-letter word that holds so much meaning.
Itâs one of those words that you learn early in your life, one you hear at home or on the TV. Your parents never fail to mention it if given the chance. The first time youâre introduced to the topic is at school when you're older, a bit more self-conscious, and no longer preoccupied with picking your nose.
âEverybody has a soulmate. And no,â your teacher had added after a pause, already anticipating the inevitable questions from any curious 10-year-old, âthere isnât such a thing as not having one. We all do. You just have to search for them.â
Back then, that had been your favorite gameâalways keeping an eye open, scanning the crowd more than once in new places. You knew for sure that more than one person probably thought youâd strained your neck from all the times you glanced over your shoulder.
It must be pretty obvious now, the fact that youâreâwell, alone. Saying âwithout a companionâ sounds quite outdated. They canât see through you, but something in the way you walk or speak must give it away.Â
Or is it the fact that you always ask for a table for one?
âAre you expecting someone else?â A waitress approaches you, her tone gentle as she makes sure youâre on your own. A small notebook dangles from her slender fingers, and your eyes catch the name stitched onto her apron: Emily.
The response you give her is on the verge of sounding automatic, robotic even, like one of those prerecorded messages busy people leave on their phones. âNo. Just me.â
She nods, and you feel the sympathy in her gaze. Youâve mastered the art of recognizing that lookâthe one hovering between concern and pity.
Of course, people rarely voice it, but theyâll never know their eyes sometimes say more than they think.
As she jots down your order, youâre met with the ring on her left hand. Very pretty, very shiny. Very expensive as well. Your attention must linger on it a little too long, because she catches you staring, making you feel exposed.
Emilyâyou decide to call her that way from now on, because once you know her name, it feels odd to address her as the waitressâoffers you a shy smile.
âIâm getting married next month,â she blurts out, happiness radiating from her pores. Her eyes glint like two lanterns in a starless night. She also looks younger than you, and the abrupt silence forces you to pinch your wrist, a reminder of the fact that this is a conversation, and not just something you're overhearing.
âCongratulations,â you manage to reply, returning the smile. If she saw how your expression faltered the second she walked away, you wonder if sheâd still think you were so amiable.
Sometimes, your façade slipsâyou canât help it. Thatâs what the âhopelessâ in âhopeless romanticâ stands for.
Some minutes later, she comes back with your coffee, and you catch another glimpse of the ring as it twinkles in front of you. Envy doesnât suit you, so you shift your focus.
Taking out your laptop, you scroll through the latest headlines. This is your attempt at acting more like an adult and less like a girl in her mid-twenties who has no clue what sheâs doing.
One article stands out from the rest: Hollywood Actress Divorces Loving Husband of 25 Years to Pursue Presumed Soulmate. âI saw his scars and knew he was the one.â
Interesting. You canât help but feel sorry for the displaced husband, though.
âGood for you,â you mutter under your breath, clicking the link to read more. Thereâs a picture of the actress and her new boyfriend that makes you stop dead in your tracks: theyâre smiling at each other, their faces close, noses almost touching, while they show off their matching scarsâthe unmistakable sign that theyâre, in fact, soulmates.
Soulmates, superheroes, mutants. It all sounds like a whole lot, doesnât it? Overwhelming, to say the least. One thingâs for sureâyouâll never get bored in this world.
But, hey! Donât forget that there are multiple universes out there. Maybe in one of them, youâre not this pathetic.
Why are you being so hard on yourself? Thatâs not even the point. Shaking your head, you keep glancing at their scarsâtheyâre identical, perfect mirrors of one another. The kind of scars that only two destined souls share.
Their happiness is evident, tangible. You can feel it by just eyeing the image. Itâs a bitter sensation that metamorphoses into a warmth, which heavily spreads through your chest, filling up every empty space it finds.Â
To say you understand that feeling would be a downright lie. And you may be many things, but a pathological liar is not one of them.
As if on cue, you duck your head, rolling up the sleeves of your jacket. You do the same with your shirt, foolishly hoping to find something other than smooth, unmarked skin.
No scars. No marks. No sign of a soulmate, of a lover. In the world you inhabitâthis universe full of the most inexplicable thingsâyouâre alone.Â
Without a second thought, you pack your things, shoving them rapidly into your bag. The cafe feels too little and too large all at once, the walls closing on you.
The rest of the customers are looking at you. Fuck, they already noticed itâyou canât escape it.
Have they? Do you think they see you like you see yourself? The lone woman who writes poems for an addressee who will never read them?
In silence, you hand Emily the money for your coffee. You fear that if you open your mouth, a cry will come out, and thatâs the last thing you need today. She gives you that look againâpity laced with sorrow, the one you despise. It burns.
At that moment, a man walks in, passing right by you. You see his face, his green eyes, and the way his lips curl into a grin as he greets Emily.
The scar on her forehead, which you'd missed before, mirrors the one on his.
They are soulmates.Â
Itâs on the streets, on the bus, at work. Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is.
She wishes you a nice morning as you leave the cafe. Little does she know youâll spend the rest of the day locked in your apartment, mourning someone you never even met.
Until the day you lost them, you wore your scars with pride.
They were scattered across your stomach, back, chest, and even your legs and arms. Some were shallow, others deep. It never occurred to youâthe thought that they belonged in the shadows, hidden.
Everyone has them, you thought as you stood in front of the mirror, running your fingers along their jagged paths. I just seem to have more than most people.
Over the years, you might have changed your hairstyle or the way you dressed, but your scars never didâtheyâd always been there, and they were yours.
Partly yours, of course, since you knew they belonged to your soulmate as well.
The older you grew, the more you realized having a good memory was both a gift and a curse. You still remembered that moment so vividlyâwhen you found out that somebody out there was meant for you and only you.
A point of no return, thatâs what itâd been. From that day on, not a single one went by without you imagining the first encounter with your Prince Charming.Â
In the meantime, you dated. A few boyfriends came and went during and after high school, mostly as practice for the real thing, youâd told yourself.
God, you were determined to know everything. To be the best girlfriend ever, so that when you finally met him, heâd be over the moon.
At the age of seventeen, it sounded like a brilliant plan.
You never knew how, but your life became that meantime. All your friends began to find their soulmates: in the supermarket, while traveling, at the goddamn doctorâs office.
Everybody was fulfilling the purpose youâd been taught humans were made forâeveryone but you.
The scars multiplied, yet he was nowhere to be seen, remaining out of reach. Your soulmateâs whereabouts were a mystery. What the hell does he do in his free time? was something you used to often ponder. Is he suffering? Does he need help?
âBe patient, give it some time. The less you seek, the more youâll find,â your mother would say, trying to sound encouraging. Although she was trying to do her best, that phrase alone had the power to make you go nuts.
Be patient? Waiting was all youâd been doing. What was so wrong with you that he seemed to be hiding from you? You didnât want to wait any longer, noâyou wanted to find him. If it meant traveling to Italy like your cousin had to meet her husband, then so fucking be it.
Many nights, sleep eluded you. Lying wide awake, staring at the ceiling, youâd imagine what life with him would be like. What he would look like. You were certain that no matter his appearance, youâd think he was beautiful.
Wasnât that the whole point of soulmatesâthat the bond you two shared transcended physical attraction?
Nevertheless, you secretly wished heâd have brown hair. He didnât need to know, but you had a weakness for brunettes.
On the night of your twenty-second birthday, you were getting ready for the big event when every trace of your scars disappeared.
The bathroom mirror was fogged from the showerâs stream, and as you wiped it clean with the palm of your hand, the image you saw reflected on the glass made your stomach do a flip.
There were no scars. No marks. Nothing. At first, you thought your eyes were playing tricks on youâit couldnât be. Scars didnât just vanish. It was impossible.
But as you lowered your gaze, tracing your limbs again and again, the truth hit you. The marks you knew by heart, the ones that reminded you, Heâs out there, somewhere, were gone.
You felt it deep in your chest, too. Every sound seemed louder and clearer: the blood rushing through your veins, each shaky breath you took. Where are they? Your fingers dug into your flesh, intending to ground yourself.
Is he⊠dead? It was the only reasonable explanation, the rule youâd known all along. Youâd read it countless times, memorizing the principles about scars.
The scream that tore from your throat brought your mother running upstairs, and she entered the bathroom with a horrified expression on her face.
âWhatâs wrong? Are you hurt?â she asked, but your mind was already far away. Your whole body shuddered in her arms, a sob slipping past your lips as you crumbled to the floor, desperately hoping it was all a nightmare. âIt must be a mistake, honey. Iâm sure heâs okay.â
But heâs not, you wanted to tell her. The words, however, never formedâonly a broken whimper escaped your lips. Isnât that what we were taught? Our scars belong to our soulmates; they bind us to them in a way that simple words canât explain.
It goes deeper than the skin. It delves into our bodies, our minds, reaching into the very essence of who we are. What was once his is also mine, but theyâre gone.
Heâs gone. He must be, because otherwise, how would you explain this void?
When oneâs soulmate passes away, that person will notice the disappearance of their scars. The physical marks that once symbolized their connection fade, leaving no trace. This absence is accompanied by a distinct, unsettling sensationâan awareness of loss that goes beyond the physical, signaling the end of the bond.
A part of you died with him that day.
The first time you exchanged words with Wade Wilson, you thought he was a total dick.
It wasnât as if you didnât know himânot when he was so infamous for that mouth of his. Deadpool: the self-proclaimed superhero with a vocabulary that was 90% profanity, who made cracking jokes while fighting the bad guys look easy.
Super funny? Sure. But not exactly your cup of tea when all you wanted was to crawl into bed and forget the world existed.
He was apparently long retired from superheroing. No one had seen that red, sex-toy-looking suit in ages, which was why you were only mildly surprised as you spotted him hauling boxes into your building on a Tuesday afternoon.
It was late, and you werenât in the mood for small talk. Heâd been there barely a week, yet somehow, heâd already managed to fuck things up.Â
You let out a deep sigh, rubbing the crease between your brows. âLook, Wallyââ
âItâs pronounced Wade,â he corrected you, trying to edge his face further into the gap between the door and its frame, though you didnât let your guard down. âYouâre pretty rude, you know that?â
âIâve been up for twenty-four hours, and I need to sleep,â you groaned, trying to push him away with one hand. Technically, he wasnât even asking for something that complicatedâhe wanted to use your microwave to heat his dinner, since his had decided to stop working out of the blue.
The thing was that youâd had the kind of week that felt like a one-way trip to hell, an important detail he wasnât aware of. âGo ask someone else. I canât do charity tonight.â
âYouâre the only one who answered,â he said, pressing his palms together in a pleading gesture, his lips curling into a heartbreaking pout. âPlease, my lovely neighbor, whose name I donât know. You wouldnât want me to starve to death, would you?
âI thought you couldnât die.â You raised an eyebrow, half-interested.
Wadeâs arms dropped to his sides, his eyes drifting downward. âAnd I thought kindness wasnât extinct, but here we are.â He spun on his heel, acting defeated and dragging his feet like a scolded puppy. âCanât believe this is what the worldâs come to. Iâm sure the Bible says something about treating others how youâd want to be treated.â
Why. Just⊠why? Some cosmic, divine force from beyond might have been testing you that night.
âWait,â you croaked just as he was about to step into his apartmentâwhich was literally three meters from yours. His face lit up, expecting you to continue, and you moved aside slightly, signaling him in. âFive minutes and youâre out, okay? I really need to get some rest.â
The rest was history. Wade was just standing there, mesmerized by your microwave as if heâd never seen one before.
You could only hear the faint buzzing sound of the gadget, punctuated by the rhythmic drumming of his fingers on the counter. He was humming a tune while shaking his head to the beat.
You tried to focus, replaying the guided meditation you sometimes followed to sleep in your mind.
Allow yourself to feel the stillness of this moment. Notice your breath slowing as your body begins to calm. Be the observer of your breath, flowing in and out naturally, as your lungsâ
Yeah, it wasnât working.
âPlease, stop it,â you eventually told Wade, whose gaze shifted from the microwave to you, brows furrowed.
âAnd whyâs that?â
âThey say itâs bad for your eyes,â you explained, recalling a half-forgotten news report youâd heard on the TV. Whether it was a myth or not, youâd never know. âI believe itâs because of the radiation exposure.â
Leaning back on the counter, he crossed his arms over his chest. âAt this point, I think Iâm safe. You, on the other hand⊠maybe not so much,â he nearly whispered that last part, and your desire to strangle him grew stronger.
Save me, mindfulness, you thought to yourself.
He jerked his thumb toward the pile of papers and books you had on your kitchen table. âSo, youâre a writer?âÂ
âEditor, in reality,â you snapped, your eyelids twitching as you watched him leaf through your stuff. âWade, donât touch my things.â
âSorry, canât help myself. Iâm very curious.â Flashing you a quick grin, he opened your notebook, squinting his eyes as he went through the pages. âBut you write too, huh? Iâm discovering plenty of material here.â
The bastard. âGive. It. Back,â you snarled, lunging at him and trying to snatch the notebook from his hands, but he was faster, raising it out of reach. âI hope your food explodes in that microwave, asshole.â
âOh, right. I forgot about it,â he snorted, tossing the notebook onto the couch and retrieving his dinner instead. You stared at him in disbelief, opening your mouth to scold him, but nothing came out. Then, there he was, standing in front of you with his plate and a fork.
Wait. Was that your fork?
âItâs hot, Iâll give you that.â He blew on his food to cool it down, and as he glanced up, he was met with your murderous glare. âWhoa. Want some? You couldâve just asked me. No need to get so angry.â
Calling it a desire to kill him wouldâve been an understatement. And the worst part? He couldnât die. âYouâve got what you needed. Now, can you leave?â
âHow longâs it been since you talked to another human being?â
You blinked, feeling the sudden urge to look around, half expecting a hidden camera. âWhy do you always answer with another question?â
âAll Iâm saying is Iâve been meaning to talk to you for days now, but youâre practically living the hermit life,â he said between bites of chicken, excusing himself briefly to chew. âThat robe youâre wearing? Itâs had the same stain on it since I moved in. Also, your doormatâs buried under a mountain of newspapers, so either you really love trees, or youâve been avoiding any sort of social interaction.â
If he had been wrong, you wouldâve felt much better. But he⊠wasnât, and it sucked.
âI feel like I should be scared,â you mumbled after a long stretch of silence, your eyes going round.
Wade did no more than laugh at your troubled expression. âScared of me? Thatâs cute. Iâm a nice guy, sweet pea. Persistent, sure, but Iâve got a knack for getting under peopleâs skin,â he said, grinning through a mouthful of foodâwhich, for the sake of your sanity, you chose to ignore.
After he had finished eating, he let the fork fall into the sink, the metal striking against the surface with a piercing echo, making you jump. He stretched his arms with a satisfied yawn, and he seemed determined to leave you alone. âWell, Iâve done my good deed for the day.â
âWhat do you mean?â you asked, following his movements as he ambled toward the door. âAre you telling me your microwave does work?â
âOh, youâre a smart one, arenât you?â Wade patted your head, ruffling your hair like you were a puppy who had just learned a new trick. âGood night, peanut.â
From that moment on, the two of you became inseparable. Your personalities clicked in a way youâd never experienced before with any other friend. Wade was loyal to a fault, and he treated you like the little sister he had never had.Â
Most importantly, he didnât pity youâhe saw you for who you were, not just someone marked by a lost soulmate. You never told him how much that meant to you, but deep down, you were grateful.
Which brings you to the present day. Youâve been friends with him for over a year, and heâs taken every chance to introduce you to his âweird but lovableâ (his words, not yours) group of friends.
âCheck your social anxiety at the door, thank you,â heâd tell you every time he hosted a get-together and you were invited.
Somehow, you had managed to bond with themâespecially Althea, his elderly roommate, who occasionally forgets who you are despite living next door.
âRemind me of your name again, sweetie? All this disco dust must be affecting my memory,â sheâd ask, leaning in close so youâd practically have to shout it into her ear. Then sheâd nod, smirking knowingly. âAh, yes. I thought so. Just making sure.â
Sheâs quite the character. A real sweetheart if you leave aside the number of times sheâs offered you more types of drugs than you knew existed.
Tonight, youâre throwing Wade a surprise birthday party. Among all the party tasks, youâve handled the decorations and the cake. The roomâs a riot of color, with balloons floating lazily from the ceiling and a cascade of streamers draping over the furniture.
Guests start arriving, greeting you warmly, a feeling you once thought impossible. Theyâre Wadeâs friends, sure, but on some level, you like to think theyâre your friends now too: Vanessa, Dopinder, Buck, Shatterstar, Colossus, Negasonic Teenage Warhead, and Yukio.
As you hear footsteps approaching the door, Wadeâs voice filters through the hallway. Panicking, you whirl around to the group. âHeâs here! Everyone shut up!â you whisper urgently, turning off the lights and pressing your back flat against the wall next to the door.
Seconds later, the sound of keys jingling fills the air as both Wade and Peter step into the apartment.
You flip the lights back on just as Dopinder pops his much-anticipated party popper. âSurprise!â you all scream in unison, and Wadeâs face splits into a grin, unsure of whom to hug first.
âYou guys are lucky Iâm not armed,â he quips, slinging an arm around Dopinderâs shoulders. âSix years ago, youâd all be dead!â
And you giggle, because⊠well, what else are you supposed to do?
As you expected, the night unfolds smoothly. Youâre having fun, engaging in conversations despite yesterdayâs emotional meltdown at the cafe. Itâll be okayâit always is. The food is amazing, the company even better. You remind yourself that romantic love isnât the only kind that mattersâthatâs what friends are for, after all, to teach you that lesson.
The low hum of chatter fills the air, punctuated by bursts of laughter and the clinking of glasses, creating a lively symphony that wraps around you like a warm blanket. Yukio calls your name, waving her head in front of your eyes, trying to snap you out of your thoughts. âEverything okay?â she wonders, concern flickering in her voice.
âYeah, Iâm fine,â you reply, tightening your grip on your beer bottle. âJust thinking, thatâs all.â
You all gather around the cake when Wadeâs about to blow the candles. You know heâs preparing himself for a speech. âAnother year of spinning around the moon, huh?â
âSun, you dumbass,â Al corrects him, and you have to bite your lip to keep your laughter to yourself.
âOkay, flat-earther,â Wade shoots back, giving her a playful side-eye. âAnyway, where was I? Oh, rightâI canât thank you all enough for being here. These past few years have been... well, rough on me, to say the least,â he says, glancing down at the cake with a small, crooked smile. âBut Iâm happy now. Weâve got each otherâs back, like a team!â
âLike The Avengers, you mean?â Dopinder pipes up, eyes sparkling with excitement. Thereâs a moment of silence in which you swear youâd be able to hear a hairpin drop.
Itâs still a sensitive topic.
âNext time, give me a trigger warning before you mention them,â Wade mutters in a hushed tone, and Dopinder shrinks sheepishly. âI guess what I wanted to tell you wasâŠâ he trails off, his palm covering the place where his heart is, âthat I'm glad youâre all here. Being surrounded by the people I love most is the best birthday gift ever.â
His words stir something inside you. Vanessa gently nudges his arm, smiling up at him. âWhy donât you make your wish?â
Wade dramatically drops to his knees in front of the cake, eyes fluttering shut before blowing out the candles, whistles and cheers erupting all around.
Just then, you hear the unmistakable sound of the doorbell ringing through the air. You exchange a curious glance with Wade, raising your eyebrows. âThatâs weird. Want me to get it?â
âNah, I got it,â he says, excusing himself to answer the door. He slips outside, shutting it behind him, and everything returns to normal. For a while, you assume heâs chatting with someone who dropped by to say hiâbut that doesnât really make sense.
âDonât you think itâs weird that heâs been out there so long?â Vanessa inquires, her worry starting to creep in.
âIâll go check on him,â you tell her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze before heading to the door.
But when you open it, thereâs no Wade in sight. Just⊠his toupeeâor âhair systemâ as he insists on calling it, lying on the floor.
Kneeling down, you gingerly pick it up, a strange sensation settling in your chest.
Where the hell did he go?
After his existence went downhill, Logan turned to prayer.
Completely out of character, right? He thought so too. The number of times he'd stepped foot inside a church could be counted on one hand, so why would a man like him resort to religion?
In the past, he had been told he was part of Godâs plan, but somewhere along the way, he felt like he had become Godâs mistake.
After living a life plagued with loss and constantly in hiding, he wasnât shocked that his self-worth was in the gutter.
Things only spiraled after letting everyone down, especially after that particular day when things took a turn for the worse. He had prayed, asking God to make him forget.
When that didnât work, he just drank harder and smoked more. But not even drowning in alcohol and clouds of nicotine could put an end to his strugglesâhe was condemned to suffer.
In spite of everyoneâs wishes, heâs still going strong, stuck with no defined purpose. Itâs almost impossible not to fall into a routine that seeks to numb him, to put him under anesthesiaâwaking up after passing out who-knows-where, finding the nearest bar, sinking into whiskey and the haze of ashtrays.
Then he does it all over again, a never-ending cycle. His self-destructive habits donât lead him to oblivion; instead, they intensify every sensation, making each memory and emotion painfully vivid.Â
Day after day, he convinces himself heâs got it under control. Logan may be tough as fuck, and he may heal faster than anyone else, but his pride is in pieces.
No amount of strength or supernatural abilities can stop the decay he feels inside, the slow rot creeping deeper within him the longer he remains trapped in this life.
He slams the empty glass onto the counter with a heavy thud, tapping two fingers against it. âAgain,â he murmurs, his voice low and rough.
The bartender looks at him like he's the reincarnation of all things vile. âI told youâyouâre not welcome here. Youâre not welcome anywhere. Now get the fuck out of my bar.â
Oh, yes. Music to his ears. If he had a nickel for every time he heard that, heâd be rich. âJust give me one more drink and then Iâll leave.â
âThatâs not how it works,â the bartender replies, and Logan knows heâs screwed. Another public establishment heâs been banned fromâfucking perfect.
Will there ever be a day where heâs not treated like garbage?
âIt does now,â an unknown voice joins the conversation, and Logan glances to his side, arching a brow. The masked man doesnât let his stare falter. âLeave the bottle.â
âDo I know you, bub?âÂ
âYou donât, but I know you.â
This serves as evidence of how pliant heâs become. Years ago, he wouldâve already wiped the floor with this guy. They didnât call him Logan âshort fuseâ Howlett for nothing. But now? He just canât bring himself to do it.
âEverybody does. Iâm theââ
Here it comes, the reminder of his personal calvary.
ââWolverine.â Once he finishes the sentence, his words taste bitter. Perhaps itâs the venom on his tongue, or maybe itâs just the alcohol from yesterday kicking him again. Either way, both hit hard.
âYes, you are,â the stranger says, continuing to stare at him, as if Loganâs worth the effort. âAnd Iâm going to need you to come with me. Right now.â
Logan holds his breath. The worst part of it all is that his dayâs just getting started. He has no clue who this guy is or why heâs claiming to need him.
But heâs got the wrong manâLogan doesnât know him, and he sure as hell doesnât have anything good to offer.
Or so he believed five minutes ago. Life seems to have its own way of surprising him.
Knowing heâll regret it later, he closes his fingers around the whiskey bottle, chugging the liquor until darkness takes over his senses.
Nighty-night, Logan.
I'm aware that you're not mine, and nor will you ever be.
Iâve spent sleepless nights trying to figure out
where this need to call you mine stems from.Â
You're like an antique, a rare piece displayed
in a crowded bazaar, drawing curious glances.
Iâm aware that you're not mine
because I haven't bought you yet;
I hold no claim over you,
nor can I control who touches you and who doesn't.
I want you to be mine,
but no amount of money would buy your soul.
You're beyond reachâsomeone has already marked you.
Iâm aware that youâre not mine,Â
and I guess maybe thatâs how life is meant to be.
âBullshit,â you mutter softly into the quiet of your apartment, where the only sound is the echo of your own voice.
Chewing the end of your pen, your eyes narrow as they skim over the poem youâd written over a month ago.
Since then, youâve been working on refining the details, but something is missingâthat you can feel. The flow is awkward, the choice of words stiff. Itâs like a puzzle that doesnât quite fit together.Â
You take a long sip from your coffee, tucking both knees up onto the chair you're sitting in. 7:30 a.m., and already, your mind is spinning, diving headfirst into a poem when countless other things are demanding your attentionâlike, a hundred things, really.
Right now, cracking this piece feels more important than any other task on your list.
Who do you write to? That part is easyâyour soulmate. That deceased, probably buried, long-gone soulmate of yours.
It shouldnât be funny, but thereâs an absurdity to it.
Without warning, a memory slips into your thoughtsâone girl you used to work with once advising you to change the subject of your writing.
âYou should go for some self-love crap. People usually eat that up,â she said, not even bothering to look up from her nails, red polish smeared over the edges.
Her fingers were a mess, coated in that fiery hue, but she didnât seem to care as she tapped your notebook with her lacquered index finger. âThis is repetitive. Keep writing about the same thing, and people will get bored of you.â
âI havenât published them yet,â you answered, your voice coming out more high-pitched than usual, betraying the doubt you intended to suppress. Her blue eyes flicked up, studying your face as you slid the now red-stained notebook back into your bag, away from her careless, messy fingers. âI thought⊠I thought we were supposed to write about what we feel passionate about.â
That managed to catch her attention. Passionate. She let out a laughâsharp and cold, like something straight out of a villainâs script in a childrenâs movie. It grated against your ears.
âSweetie, you call that passionate?â She waved her hand dismissively, standing up from the table.
Taller, older, and more secureâjust the fact that she gave you her time shouldâve made you feel grateful. âNot to be a bitch, but what you showed me is kind of depressing.âÂ
Kind of depressing. From that moment on, you kind of hated her. Small victories, thoughâthe agency fired her a year later. You like to think you kind of won that battle.
Still, she mightâve been right about one thing: your writing does fall into patterns. Itâs predictable, to say the leastâthe rhythm, the themes. Even the metaphors you include can be found in several of your poems.
Are you⊠lazy? Has someone revealed the way to break out of it? If there is, you figure you're fine without it.
You donât want to write the kind of articles sheâd churn out about the latest trends or the five best positions to get pregnant faster. Nor do you want to pick apart celebrities' lives for a flashy headline.
What you do want is to write about love. Real love. Even if you are not the most qualified person to do it. Even if nobody wants to read the words from someone who has never experienced it in the flesh.
And youâll get thereâhow? Youâre still figuring that out.
As long as you live and breathe, love will remain in your thoughts, haunting youâespecially with your muse being the fleeting dream of a soulmate you never got to meet in the first place.
But itâs time to start your dayâthe real one. The one where you have to step outside the safety of your four walls and deal with reality.
The to-do list assembles in your mind: groceries, that book youâve been meaning to pick up, emails you need to answer.
You let your mind take over, guiding you through the motions without a second thought. As you head back to your room, you get rid of the comfortable robe you love so much.
Next, your shirt comes off, tossed carelessly onto the bed. Just as you're about to step out of your pajama pants, you notice them.
The scars.
Theyâre not the same, not the faded lines etched into your skin that you could see every night behind your eyelids. New marks glow against your flesh, each one a map of something you donât yet understand, standing out like new brushstrokes on an old canvas.
You canât help but freeze, your breath faltering for a moment, and you nearly trip over yourself. Kicking your pants to the side, you stare down at your hips, thighs, the hollow of your ribcage.Â
Tentatively, you press your fingers into the lines, expecting them to fade, to disappear under your touch like some peculiar illusion.
But they donât. They remain. You can feel the raised edges, the subtle roughness, the heat beneath your touch.
These scars are different from the ones you had before. Under no circumstances are they the faint memories you once carried. Noâthese are fresh and vibrant. Marks that shouldnât exist, the stories theyâve witnessed unfamiliar to you.
Within seconds, youâre sobbing, and you blink through the wetness clouding your vision, wiping your tears of disbelief (and maybe hope?) away with the back of your hand.
Nothing changes. Theyâre still there.
You've never heard of scars returning like this. It goes against everything in the manual on your shelf. Scars vanish when a soulmate dies, but they donât come back. Not like this. And they certainly donât change.Â
Barely able to stand without stumbling, you scramble to your phone. The first person you call is your mom, your fingers shaking as you press the buttons. She screams into the phone, and all you can do is laugh through the tears.
What doesnât sit right with her is the change in the scars. She mentions something about reaching out to a specialist, insisting that your case is rareâone in a million.
Almost immediately, you think of Wade, knowing heâd want to hear this. God, heâd be ecstatic. Before you even realize it, youâre standing in front of his door, finger hovering over the bell.
Thatâs when the realization hits you: heâs been gone for nearly three days, off doing whatever it is he does.
Ringing the bell, a smile tugs at your lips. News like these are meant to be shared.
âAlthea, itâs me!â you call out, hoping sheâll hear you. You press your forehead against the door, fidgeting with your fingers. âI have something to tell you.â
Logan has had better days. Days that didnât involve escaping The Void, fighting a hundred Wades, or saving an earth that wasnât even his to begin with.
You know, normal daysâof being sneered at while drinking to forget and, fuck, how many hours has he been sober? It feels like an eternity.
When the adrenaline wears off and the heroism fades, heâs back to being just Logan again. If he had a watch, heâd probably tap the glass and fake impatience to Wade, pretending heâs got somewhere else to be.
He should leave. Thatâs his first impulse: to escape before itâs too late, but a question arises in his mind: does he truly want to?
Wade watches as Logan rises to his feet, planning to walk away. Pretty stupid, Logan thinks, considering he knows no one else in this universeâapart from the scarred man heâs become friends with against his will.
âLogan!â Wade yells his name, his voice light but firm enough to halt him in his tracks. Logan turns to face him, greeted by Wadeâs familiar, infuriating smile.
It's a silent invitation to a new beginning.
Nothingâs holding him back, so why not accept it? The odds of being the target of hateful glares are lower here, and thatâs reason enough for Logan to give a small tilt of his head and return to the bench where Wade remains seated.
âWeâre gonna be roommates!â the latter exclaims, a wide grin stretching across his face as they head toward the building. âCan you imagine all the fun weâll have?â
Logan presses his lips into a thin line. âLooking forward to it,â he murmurs, a small glimmer of sarcasm slipping into his tone, although Wade takes his words at face value.
âMe too, roomie. Me too.â
âLetâs not use that word.â
Wade holds the door open for Logan with an exaggerated bow. âWhy not? Itâs the truth. We can even share my bed if thatâsââ
The sound of Loganâs claws succeeds in silencing him. Wade recoils and covers his crotch, no doubt remembering past close calls.
âYou know what? You can have the bed. Iâll take the couch. No problem.â
Was moving in with Wade the worst idea heâs had in a while? Absolutely. The reason? Althea, the elderly woman he lives with, isnât answering the door, and he doesnât have his keys.
Logan covers his eyes with a hand, silently questioning all of his life choices. And itâs only been ten minutes.
âThis doesnât happen often,â Wade reassures him, rubbing his neck.
âHard to believe,â Logan mutters, some unknown muscle in his jaw beginning to ache from how hard heâs gritting his teeth. âYou just leave the house without your fucking keys?â
Wade huffs, jutting out a hip in mock offense. âThose TVA guys didnât exactly send a âWeâre here to ruin your dayâ memo. I was ambushed, okay?â he retorts, keeping a finger glued to the doorbell, its shrill ring gnawing at Loganâs already thin patience. âAl, I swear to God, Iâm replacing your blood pressure pills with laxatives if you donât wake up!â
âHow old is she?â Logan asks, searching for anything to keep him from snapping the other manâs neck. Peaceful thoughts.
âCompared to you, sheâs basically a newborn,â Wade replies, rocking back and forth on his heels. Heâs having the time of his lifeâmeanwhile, Loganâs self-control is reaching its limit.
His claws twitch in his knuckles. Heâs had enough, and with a jerk of his left hand, they gleam as they slide out, ready to break the damn door.Â
But then Wade jumps in front of him.
âWhoa, whoa, whoa. Easy there, buddy! Iâm not letting you turn my door into a strainer.â
âMove,â Logan barks, not an ounce of friendliness in his tone. His stare is flat, unfazed.
âIâd rather not. You canât just go around breaking peopleâs doors, man. Not cool,â Wade blurts quickly, placing both hands on Loganâs chest, pushing him away. âHow about I ask my neighbor, huh? I gave her a spare set of keys for situations like these.â
âI thought you said this didnât happen often.â
âWell, lifeâs full of disappointments.â
Before Logan can answer back, Wade rushes to the door next to his, slamming his fist on it like a madman, his finger hammering the doorbell simultaneously.
The devilâs orchestraâa symphony straight from hell.
Logan grabs Wadeâs wrist before he can knock again, hissing: âHave some manners, will you?âÂ
Wade tries to shake his arm free from Loganâs tight grip. âSheâs in there. I know it,â he replies in the same tone, but now he uses his other hand to ring the doorbell with greater feeling.
After a pause, he stamps his foot on the floor, throwing his head back. âCome on! Is this how you treat me after being away? Shame on you, Missy!â
This neighbor must be very patient, Logan thinks, to keep up with a guy like Wade without often seeing red.
As the door finally swings open, his grip on Wade loosens, and his hand falls limply to his side.
âWhat⊠the fuck?â
The sound of your voiceâsoft, slightly groggy from sleepâpulls his attention away from the door incident. His gaze is fixed entirely on youâyou look as if youâve just rolled out of bed, which makes sense since itâs still early.
Back in The Void, Wade had rambled on about all his friends, you included. Logan recalls how he had described you: a book editor who lived on her own and loved reading. You were youngerâbut then again, who wasnât younger than him?
The picture Wade had shown him, with you standing in the background, hadnât done you justice. He had found you attractive then, but seeing you in person?
Youâre⊠far more than he expected.
More beautiful, for starters.
Fuck. Why is he even thinking about that? He mustâve been staring at you for quite a whileâyou glance at him like a startled lamb, clearly feeling self-conscious under his unwavering stare.
âMay I know,â you start, tightening your robe, âwhy you were banging on my door like that? I thought I was getting robbed for a minute.â You direct your question at Wade, avoiding Loganâs presence, which makes something tighten in his chest.
He finds the way you stifle a yawn endearing, though.
Okay, thatâs enough, he tells his mind. Let it go.
Wade steps in first, dropping his mask on the nearest surface. âHello, my dear. Oh, yes, Iâm fine. Just a few scratches. No, I wasnât partyingâI was kidnapped. Thanks for asking.â
You draw in a long breath, rubbing your eyes to wake up once and for all, and then you proceed to gesture for Logan to enter. Even now, you find it difficult to maintain eye contact with him. âDo youâwould you like to come in?â
Not only are you pretty, but also polite. He nods, muttering a gruff: âYeah, thank you.â
As he walks past you, your shoulders brush briefly, sending an unexpected jolt through him. A tingling sensation on the verge of being electrifying that has him knitting his brows.
His gaze finds yours, searching your expression to see if you felt it too. But you look away, closing the door to go after Wade.
Great. You must think heâs a weirdo.Â
âIâm always up for company, but why so early?â you ask your friend, rummaging through the kitchen cabinets. âAnd are you going to tell me what happened the other day? You left without saying anything.â
Wade hops onto a stool at the kitchen counter, swinging his legs like a child. âYou know Al. When it comes to sleeping, sheâs like a much older version of Sleeping Beauty,â he replies with a grin, snatching the mug you were about to use for your morning coffee. âThanks, youâre such a doll.â
âThat wasâmine,â you sigh, hitting him in the thigh, and Wade winces with a fake whine. âI donât think Iâve missed you that much. Go back to being missing in action,â you say, grabbing another mug and filling it before raising it toward Logan. âCoffee?â
Logan hesitates. Youâre treating him like youâve known him for years, not minutes. âIâm⊠good.â
âYou sure? I made it fresh, just before you guys arrived.â
âDonât worry, Iâmââ
âI love the chemistry here,â Wade interrupts your conversation, drawing your attention back to him, âbut you still got the keys I gave you, right?â
You roll your eyes, blowing on your steamy coffee before answering. âI do, but I want answers first. And I want them now.â
Twenty minutes and a rambling, half-coherent story later, your drink has gone cold, and Loganâs patience is wearing thin⊠again.
Will he survive sleeping under the same roof as Wade? Stay tuned for more.
âAnd then I told Paradox âHe has risen, babygirlâââ
âI think youâre being too specific,â Logan interjects, noting how youâre staring into space with wide eyes. âShe seems confused.â
âI am,â you admit, rubbing your temples. He doesnât blame you: Wadeâs a terrible storyteller. You offer him a weak smile as you turn to him. âSo⊠youâre from another universe.â
âLast time I checked.â His back collapses against the couch, groaning softly. He sits beside you, and the way your eyes sweep over him, taking in his disheveled and sweaty appearance, doesnât go unnoticed by him.
âAnd how is it? I mean, do you haveââ
âIâm public enemy number one.â
Too harsh, idiot.
âOh. Thatâs⊠good to know.â
Wade says your name, and you look to your right, lifting your brows. âDo you mind if I grab the keys myself? I need a shower. Iâve been marinating in sweat and blood for way too long.â
You grimace, pointing toward your room. âTop drawer of my nightstand.â
With that, he embarks on a quest to find them, leaving Logan alone with you. Silence stretches between you two.
He doesnât know what to say, or if he should even say anything. Casual conversation isnât his forte.
âYou and WadeâŠ?â
Letting out a giggle, you lean back on the couch. âGod, no. Weâre just friends,â you explain, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. For a fleeting moment, your eyes bore into his, and then you return to burning holes in the floor. âIâm single. Havenât found my soulmate yet.â
Itâs his turn to chuckle nowâa dark, humorless sound rumbling in his chest. You chew on a cuticle, Loganâs gesture igniting a sense of curiosity in you.
âWhat?â you ask him, puzzled.
âDo you really believe in that? Soulmates who share scars?â If he were to think carefully, heâd watch his tone. Itâs too late, anywayâyou straighten your posture, your face contorting with each passing second. âI can tell you do.â
âAnd I can tell you donât.â
âWhy would I? Those are lies,â he retorts, the corners of his mouth turning upward.
His opinion is anything but objective, totally biased, given that every time he dove into loveâs arms, he was met with the crude reality: not everyoneâs meant to be loved, himself included.
The look you give him is enough to wipe the smirk off his face.Â
âSoulmates exist, Logan. We all have one.â Thereâs a certainty in your tone, marked by the subtle way in which you say his name, that he finds alluring. He shouldnât, especially when you seem angry above all.Â
âAnd where is yours, then?â
He regrets it as soon as the words leave his mouth. Your expression becomes inscrutable. You could be either disappointed, frustrated, or even exasperatedâsad, perhaps?
Logan feels as though a weight has settled on his shoulders just from staring into your eyes.
You strike back with silence. Plain, pure, dreadful silence that has him wondering if heâs breathing properly.
At long last, Wade comes back from his expedition, keys dangling from his fingers. âIt was quite the treasure hunt, you know? Youâve got a lot of garbage in there.â He sticks his face between Loganâs and yours when you don't answer him. âGuys, is there something wrong? Are you doing a staring contest? If so, can I join?â
âI need to start getting ready for work,â you announce, standing up from the couch. Logan mimics you, and you open the door, your fingers curling around the knob. âYou should get going. And Wade,â you pause, acknowledging only him, âI need to talk to you later. In private.â
Without Logan. Thatâs what you wanted to say but didnât.
âSure, my queen. I live to serve,â Wade says in rejoinder, and he kisses your forehead briefly, which forces Logan to avert his gaze the whole time his lips are on you, feeling uncomfortable watching. âTake care, alright?âÂ
You give Wade a small nod, waiting until heâs outside your apartment to glance at Logan.
âGoodbye,â you croak, and he knows he should say something, that heâ
The door almost closes on his nose.
Had he been an asshole? He was merely expressing his thoughts. The idea of soulmates didnât sit well with him.
Once settled into Wadeâs apartment, Logan steps into the shower, water rinsing off his body. Yet he finds himself unable to stop thinking about you.
The disappointment in your eyes when he asked about your soulmate.
The coldness in your tone at the end, so different from the warmth you initially offered.
He feels drawn to you, as if some sort of invisible string is tying the two of you. Were it possible, he would use his own claws to cut it, but he canât discern where it begins or ends. Instead, he prefers to blame his touch-starved state for this reaction.Â
Heâs already hating this earth. So much for a man whose skin refuses to scar.
And where is yours, then?
His words shouldnât have stung the way they did. All the charmâthe gruff exterior, the mysterious personalityâhad vanished.
The guy from another universe, with the claws, the healing abilities, and the raspy voice, is a moron.
A ridiculously good-looking moron? Yes, but a moron nonetheless.
There is something about him you canât quite place. A chill creeps down your spine as you replay the instant your eyes first locked. Your body had reacted in ways it never had before, drawn to him like metal to a magnet.
Why? Youâd seen handsome men before, even been with some. Yet, youâve never felt thisâthis gravitational pull, this inexplicable pull to invade someoneâs personal space.
How would your soulmate feel if he saw you like this, lusting after another man?
You shudder at the thought. This isnât like you. You pride yourself on loyaltyâperhaps a little too much. You donât read two books at the same time, and youâve been buying the same brand of shampoo for the past five years.
So why now? Why him? It feels like a betrayal of your own mind, your conscience turned against you.
Let things stay as they areâitâs safer that way. You donât want to know the reason behind this forceful need.
After all, being his grumpy and ill-tempered self, heâll stay holed up in Wadeâs apartment, avoiding any interaction with the real world. And you? Youâll forget about him. Easy-peasy.
That afternoon, as you take a nap on the couch, he invades your dreams. Itâs not even a wet dream, but heâs there, staking a claim on a part of you he has no right to.
You wake up with your hand clutching your chest, a frustrated punch landing on the nearest cushion.
The next day, you drop by Wadeâs place for a quick visit, your eyes darting around the room every few seconds, half-expecting Logan to appear out of nowhere.
âI told you, heâs sleeping. That guyâs got a fucked up sleep schedule,â Wade says, urging you to take a seat beside him at the table. âWhy donât you wanna see him?â
Because heâs messing with your sanity. Your brain cells are practically disintegrating at the mere thought of breathing the same air as him.
âI justâI need to tell you something.â
âAre you pregnant?â
âWhat? Wade, no! Youâve been gone for three daysâpregnancies take months.â
âIâd make an amazing uncle, though.â He grabs your hand between his, his eyes sparkling with mischief. âBabies are so adorable at thatââ
âMy scars are back,â you cut him off, putting an end to his nonsense. Pulling the neck of your sweater to the side, you show him the thin lines etched into your collarbone. âBut they are different this time.â
âDifferent? You mean they changed?â His disbelief is clear as he reaches for your arm, frowning while he inspects more of your scars. Wadeâs jaw slackens, color draining out of his face. âFuck. Fuck!â
âFuck?â
âYeah, fuck!â His strong arms envelop you, and you lean into the embrace, resting your cheek against his shoulder. âIs this good news? Are we happy? Does this mean I have a shot at becoming an uncle after all?â
You laugh a little at his eagerness, rubbing gentle circles into his back. âI am happy. I justâI donât know what these changes mean yet.â
Althea steps out of the bathroom, her cane tapping the floor in rhythmic beats. âI already told you what they mean.â
Wade pulls away from you, glaring at her. âYou meddler! Havenât we talked about not eavesdropping? Hasnât life taught you anything after all these decades?â
âUpside of being blind: Iâve never seen this motherfucker in Crocs,â she says, pointing her cane at you, though you know her aim is Wade. âDownside of being blind: I hear everything in this apartment. And you, kid, have a new soulmate.â
âI know what we talked about the other day, but... it doesnât make sense, Al. You only get one soulmate,â you protest, feeling the tension grow as you pace around the table. âWhy canât it just be simple? My friends are getting engaged, years are flying by, and Iâm still out here chasing this⊠this idiot who no one can even find!â
Thatâs when Logan appears, emerging from his room, holding several empty beer cans. He rolls his eyes and walks straight into the kitchen. âGreat. Who else is coming tonight?â
Wade smirks, clapping a hand on Loganâs shoulder as he looks at you. âSweetie, Loganâs going through his second puberty at the ripe old age of two hundred. The pediatrician said itâs just hormones, nothing to worry about. Excuse his shitty attitude.â
With a low groan, Logan shrugs off Wadeâs hand, scowling. If anything, the younger manâs grin just grows bigger. âWolvie, I gotta admit that whole âDonât fall in love with me or Iâll break your heartâ personality shouldnât turn me on, but here we are.â
You decide to take that as your cue to leave. You grab your bag, muttering a quick goodbye to Althea as you head for the door.
But Logan calls after you. âCan we talk?â
You freeze, your back to him. âHow much did you hear?â you ask, not daringânot being ableâto meet his gaze.
âAll of it,â he admits after a beat, and you curse under your breath. âBut it doesnâtâHey!â He follows you into the hallway. âIâm talking to you!â
âNo, youâre not.â You fumble for your keys, fingers shaking as you try to unlock your door. âLeave me alone.â
âI wonât,â he mumbles behind you, his voice softer now. âCome on. Donât be so harsh.â
âI canât believe you,â you whisper, finally finding the right key and jiggling it into the lock. The door swings open, and you step into the safety of your apartment. But when you try to close it, Loganâs foot wedges into the gap, blocking it. âGet out.â
He doesnât budge. âNo.â
âLogan, Iâm not in the mood.â
âWell, me neither. But I owe you an apology.â
You wonder if he realizes the hold he has on you. No matter how hard you try to mask it, the unbearable pounding of your heart betrays you.
Scanning his features, you trace the rugged contours of his face with your eyes, lingering on the lines on his foreheadâthe aftermath of what it looks like a life lived through bitterness and pain.
âCan I come in?â he insists, his tone on the verge of sounding pleading.
You hesitate. The sensible part of you screams to send him away. Thinking that avoiding him would be as easy as stealing candy from a baby is a long-forgotten idea now: youâd been naĂŻve to even consider it possible.
Heâs going to find a way to sneak into your space, your homeâand youâll let him in. Youâll grant him a chance to cross a boundary that shouldâve been already drawn.
It feels like youâre fifteen again, infatuated with the guy you know you shouldnât get close to. Paul from high school wasnât your soulmate back thenâLogan isnât now.
The smart thing would be to take a step back, accept his apology, and ask him to leave. Thatâs how you preserve what little remains of your sanity and protect your heart, which is already hanging by a thread.
But God, it feels so good to be near him.
You step aside. He walks in. Something tells you this wonât be the last time.
âIâm waiting.â You stay near the counter, pressing your back against it, and keeping your distance. Logan sits awkwardly on the edge of your couch, unsure of where to begin.
âLook, about what I said yesterdayâŠI didnât mean it. Iâm sorry.â He sounds sincere, earnest. âI didnât know you believed in soulmates.â
âItâs not a matter of believing in them or not, Logan. My soulmate is out thereâyours too.â
Your words coax a grin from him, and he shakes his head. âI guess weâll never see eye to eye on that.â In a fluid motion, he crosses the room, and you find his unexpected proximity a bit exasperating. âDo you forgive me?â
âIâll think about it.â
âGive me a break, darlinâ. Iâm trying my best.â
âWell, you were an asshole.â
âYes.â
âThe first time we exchanged words.â
âAlso yes.â
âAnd now youâre apologizing.â
âPositive. I just did.â
Itâs not that youâre easyâitâs Loganâs persuasive allure that gets to you.
âWhat else can I do to win your forgiveness?â he wonders aloud, his syrupy voice making you tighten your grip on the counter.
An idea sparks in your mind. You move toward the pile of books next to the TV, eyeing the titles, until one catches your attention: your copy of Jane Eyre by Charlotte BrontĂ«, one of the first novels youâd read when you were younger.
Itâs adorned with colorful post-its, and the pages, sort of rough to the touch, are marked with handwritten notes in the margins.
âHow do you feel about reading?â
âNot my strongest suit,â he answers, arching a brow as he takes in your enthusiasm. âWhatâs going on in that head of yours?â
âYou want me to believe youâre sorry for what you said? Then read this,â you say, wiggling the book in front of him, âand we can start over.â
âWhat is it about? Let me guess: love and soulmates. Did I get it right?â he asks, playfulness lacing his tone. His breath hitches as you press the book against his chest, silently urging him to take it. His pinky grazes your hand, feeling your skin and sending a jolt through you.
Logan watches you with half-lidded eyes, and it takes every ounce of willpower to tear yourself away from him and his maddening touch.
You clear your throat. âOpen it to page one hundred fifty-three.â
âDo youâyou remember specific pages?â
âAnd read whatâs underlined in black,â you murmur, eyes fluttering closed for an instant. âPlease.â
Logan must mutter something along the lines of âYouâve got to be kidding meâ before searching for it. Itâs only then that he begins to recite the passage:
He is not to them what he is to me. He is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine; â I am sure he is â I feel akin to him â I understand the language of his countenance and movements; though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him. Did I say, a few days since, that I had nothing to do with him but to receive my salary at his hands? Did I forbid myself to think of him in any other light than a paymaster? Blasphemy against nature! Every good, true, vigorous feeling I have gathers impulsively round him. I know I must conceal my sentiments: I must smother hope; I must remember that he cannot care much for me. For when I say that I am of his kind, I do not mean that I have his force to influence, and his spell to attract; I mean only that I have certain tastes and feelings in common with him. I must, then, repeat continually that we are for ever sundered: â and yet, while I breathe and think, I must love him.
Youâve chosen a damn good page.
Logan looks up from the book, his mouth slightly parted, as if heâs about to speak. You interject before he can find the words.
âYouâve got a week to read it.â
âHow long is it again?â
âFour hundred pages.â
He surrenders, sighing in defeat. âYouâre killing me here, yâknow?â
âWrite an opinion essay if possible.â
Right there, Logan offers you a mock laugh. âHaha. Thatâs so funny.â
âIt is for me,â you talk back, unable to hide your smile from him, and soon he mirrors your expression.Â
As Logan steps toward the door, he hesitates and glances back. âWeâre all good then?â
Leaning against the doorframe, you raise your chin defiantly. âWeâll be when you finish the book.â
What he says next has your stomach turning into knots. âYouâre trouble.â His tone shiftsâno longer teasing, but grounded in truth. Gone are the jokes; he seems to mean every word.
For the rest of the night, one line from the book doesnât stop echoing in your mindâthe line about soulmates: I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him.Â
Youâre trouble for him, and heâs trouble for you. You hope he knows it too.
He thought that not seeing you for a week would snuff out his feelings. That by next Wednesday, every thought tied to your name, every urge to uncover the last of your secrets, would be extinguished.
That's what time usually did: it diminished dangerous desires that couldn't afford to be voiced, and buried those longings that had no place in the light of day.
Logan now figures heâs been underestimating the spell you cast on him with just a few glances and the intensity of your eyes. Heâs seen you animated, angryâboth defiant and vulnerable.
Each of your gestures feels like a memory he canât quite place.
The way you laugh, the right corner of your mouth lifting just slightly higher than the leftâhe swears it isnât the first time he's seen a smile brighter than the sun.
Still, he convinces himself itâs all in his head. He must be the one losing his mind, the years finally catching up to him. Itâs the only reasonable explanation for the thoughts that consume his every waking moment.
Heâs wrongâyouâre right. Heâs seeing things where there are noneâyouâre simply too kind.
Too kind. Too young. Too damn clever for your own good, with your books and that sharp mind of yours. He wonders how you see yourself.
Do you like the reflection in the mirror? Are you content with the way your life has turned out?
Do you, too, lie awake at night, the bed stretching endlessly, aching for a touch that never comes?
The walls in this place are paper-thin. When darkness falls, and the moon rises, the big, scary Wolverine canât close his eyes.
Instead, he listens.
Some nights, you play the same movie on repeatâa romantic comedy that lasts exactly one hundred and twenty minutes. For two hours straight, heâs privy to your laughter, your commentary at the characters on the screen.
He hears you cry when the lead couple drifts apart after a terrible argument, but they always find their way back to each other, and you watch every second until the credits roll.
None of the other films you pick ever ends in heartbreak, he realizes. They all have happy endingsâthe kind you wish for yourself.
One way or another, there must be a way to get you out of his system. He knows, without a doubt, that you wouldnât want him. Heâs not your soulmate, and itâs clear that finding that person has become the center of your existence.
Logan canât allow himself to be the moron who derails your purpose.
Sure, heâs done bad things, but he likes to believe that at least a part of himâsome small fractionâhasnât been lost yet. That thereâs a piece of him that can be saved, which is the reason why he stayed here: to be a better man than the one he was in his universe.
But itâs hard. Harder still because itâs you who disrupts his quest for redemption. How is he supposed to go on with his life when every thought circles back to you? The idea of holding you, kissing youâsleeping beside you haunts him.
And so the images blur, new dreams twisting with his usual nightmares.
Which one is worse, he can no longer tell.
One afternoon, while deliberately steering clear of Jane Eyre, he reluctantly turns to Wade in search of answers. âTell me more about her.â
Wade, lounging on the couch, stops scrolling on his phone and drops it onto his chest, drawing his eyebrows together.
âHer? Who do you mean?â His tone oozes with feigned innocence, barely containing a shit-eating grin when Logan grits out your name, his tone rough, almost pained. âOh, Romeo. Youâve got it bad.â
Intending to maintain some semblance of control, Logan strides into the kitchen, grabbing a glass and the last bottle of whiskey. As he tips it, only a few drops fall into the glass.
âNo, I donât,â he says, extending his arm and holding the bottle up. âWeâre out of whiskey.â
âYou keep saying we, but youâre the only alcoholic in this apartment.â Wade kicks off his shoes, propping his feet on the coffee table. âSo, why the sudden interest in the lady? She getting through that tough exterior of yours? Iâll give her points for that.â
âAnd you wonder why I donât talk to you.â
âI saw the book,â the younger man replies, lacing his fingers behind his head, watching as Logan rummages through the fridge with increasing frustration. âYou never told me you were into classics. If Iâd known, Iâd have gotten you a copy of Pride and Prejudice.â
âShut your mouth.â
âIâm sorry, werenât you the one who came to me, looking for the essential oil of truth?â
The silence that follows is thick and uncomfortable, mood-killing.
âSee what I just did there?â he adds, and Logan feels forced to shake his head from side to side, appearing conflicted. Wade lets out a low huff. âThat was Virginia Woolf. Add her to your reading list.â
âHas anyone ever told you how obnoxious you are?â
âMore times than I can count. Iâm just not everyoneâs cup of coffee.â
âTea, Wade. Not everyoneâs cup of tea.â
âWhatever.â Wade simpers, as though Loganâs correction is the punchline to a joke only he gets. He sets his palms flat on the table, looming closer with a mischievous glint in his eyes. âSo, what would you like to know about my dear friend?â
Logan hesitates, the weight of his question heavy on his tongue. âWhatâs the deal with her scars?â
The air shifts. Wadeâs playful expression fades and he tilts his head, his tone turning serious. âI donât think itâs my story to tell,â he begins, gaze dropping to the floor. âBut she lost them years ago. She was living a normal life, and one day, they were justâgone, like they were never there. It broke her. We didnât know each other back then, but youâve seen her.â
Wadeâs eyes flick back up, while Logan stands there, tongue-tied. âYou even know the kind of books she readsânothing can shake that belief in real love, in soulmates being destined. Imagine how she mustâve felt when she found out her presumed soulmate was dead⊠without a single warning.â
From what he had heard, that sense of loss was impossible to put into words. Those whoâd gone through it described the experience as if half of youâyour body, your soul, your very essenceâwas being ripped away.
The pain was excruciating, and the only way to survive it was by means of tolerating itâno remedy, just the endurance to outlast the agony.
It wasnât just a momentary hurt. It was the kind of torment that lingered, making you question who you were and what little remained of you.
You and Logan had more in common than heâs willing to admit.
âSheâs a good person,â he mutters absent-mindedly, his thumb grazing the cover of the book. He had carried it everywhere for a week now, without even cracking it open.
âOh, you dirty pigâŠâ Wade whispers, his eyes lighting up as if a lightbulb suddenly went off in his mind. âNow I get it. You wanna know her. Like, really know her!â
âI donâtââ
âYour sex life is none of my business. Iâm all up for you putting your mutant dick to work, otherwise itâs just wasted potential. But itâs my friend weâre talking about.â
Loganâs jaw tightens, and he snaps. âDrop the speech, alright? Iâm not trying to get into her pants. I just want to be nice. Thatâs all.â
âNice, huh? Whatâs your version of nice? Starting a two-person book club?â Wade stifles a laugh, pressing a finger to Loganâs chest. âLook, if you want to sleep with her, and the feelingâs mutual, then go for it. Just tell me thisâhow longâs it been since you visited Pussy Village? Was it before or after the Big Bang?â
Things are never truly serious with Wade Wilson. âIâm not answering that.â
Wade raises both hands in surrender, still chuckling. âFine, fine. But if youâre really interested, just be clear about it. She doesnât need a half-assed situationship.â
By now, itâs like a mantra he repeats again and again, hoping that eventually both Wade and he will start to believe it. âI donât want to have sex with her.â
As he heads back to his (now Wadeâs old) room, Wade adds, âIâm sure sheâd appreciate it if you underlined some quotes you like.â
Much to his dismay, thatâs exactly what Logan does.
His handwriting isnât the most legible, but he tries his best, leaving notes in the margins of some pages, such as:
I hate this John kid.
Her aunt is a cunt.
This is too cheesy.
Mr. Rochesterâs married?
St. Johnâwhat a prick.
He finishes the book at 7 a.m. A long-ass bookâjust for you. While getting ready for work, Wade calls him an unemployed fucker, and Logan knows nothing better than to shoot back a similar insult, stretching his arms as the first rays of sunlight creep through the curtains.
Wade was right about something, even if Logan himself doesnât wish to admit it: heâs behaving like a teenagerâstaying up until dawn, practically chained to the bed without daring to go out. Falling for a girl he didnât know a week ago.
Learning to control his impulses has been a hard task, especially with his temperament. Over the years, Logan thought heâd mastered the art of self-restraint, long past the point where his body moved without his mindâs permission.
As his feet carry him down the hall toward your apartment, he recognizes how wrong he is.
This is a terrible idea, he thinks. And yet, his fist knocks on the wood. Three times.
Fuck.
The door opens just a crack. You peek out, your face barely visible, eyes puffy from sleep. âLogan?â
His name isnât a fancy one. Itâs pretty normal, pretty standard. There must be a thousand other guys named like himâyet itâs only when you say it, your voice turning it into something rare and unique, that it feels different, like itâs only his.
The tone you use with him isnât the one heâs used to: Logan, youâre a disappointment. Logan, how dare you turn your back on your friends? Logan, theyâre all dead. Logan, itâs your fault.
Yours is inviting, and warm, and new. He likes new.
âI just finished it,â he answers, holding up the book, mindful not to grip it too tight as not to crumple the pages.
You scratch the back of your head, blinking at him. âYou just finished it⊠at 7 a.m.?
Yeah, it sounds stupid now that you say it out loud, but itâs true. Hoping his reaction is enough to explain what he canât put into words, he gives you a slow nod.
This time, you donât wait for him to say more. âCome in?â
Yes, this is what heâs been looking forward all week. This moment, this interaction.
This Come in. This Yes, thank you. Youâre so kind.
His quiet acceptance of your invitation, the unpronounced thought of I donât deserve this, but I canât back off now, because how could I ever say no to you?
He follows you into the kitchen as you move to make tea. âWant some?â you ask, but he declines the offer. If he were to drink anything right now, it would be something much stronger, not tea, despite the early hour. âYouâre here to talk about the book?â
âWell, you told me I could come back after reading it.â
âI did,â you say, a small smile tugging at your lips as you hide it behind your mug. âI just wasnât expecting you to be so punctual.â
You donât need to know that heâs been counting down the seconds, marking each minute in his mind since the last time he saw you. Thatâs a detail heâll keep to himself. âItâs a good story.â
âTell me about it.â You smile even wider, and he takes a moment to absorb the details of your faceâthe crinkles by your eyes, the way your nose scrunches when youâre amused. âI lent you my most precious book. Fell in love with it years ago.â
âI can see why you liked it,â he explains, flipping through the pages to find the one he marked. âAll the romance and the yearningââ
âHey, itâs also good for other reasons,â you try to defend yourself, but any other argument dies on your lips when he finds the passage he was looking for and begins to read aloud.
âI sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you, especially when you are near me, as now,â he recites, his voice lower, almost reverent, as he looks up from the page to meet your gaze. âIt is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame.â
You seem startled by the sharp sound of him closing the book. Heâs sort of breathless, and from where he stands, he can tell you are too. âThatâs one of my favorite passages.â
âI canât blame you for believing in soulmates if this is the kind of thing you read growing up,â he teases, handing the book back to you.
Though a part of him almost wishes he didnât have toâso that it would still be a reason, a tether, pulling him back to you again and again.
Grinning, you take it, your eyes remaining trained on his. âI happen to notice it hasnât changed your perspective on soulmates.â
âItâll take more than a book.â
âThis is, in my opinion, one of the best love stories ever written. How else will I convince you?â
âWhy do you feel like you need to convince me?â He takes a step forwardâyou take a step back. âWhy canât it be the other way around? I might end up being the one who convinces you.â
âYou could never,â you respond, clasping your hands behind your back. âIt would be like convincing me the sky is green instead of blue.â
Logan retreats slightly. âDonât you get tired?â
âOf what?â
âOf waiting. Of always being on the lookout.â
You donât react badly to his question. Youâre not even shaken, not fazed in the slightest. âWhen I meet him, Iâll know all the waiting was worth it.â
âAnd in the meantime?â Logan inquires, pressing himself further into your intimacy, edging closer as if testing the boundaries youâre willing to cross. His words are a subtle request for more, for answers. âWhat will you do until you find him?â
If you ever do, he thinks, but itâs left unsaid, lingering in his thoughts. Heâs getting better at not saying the things that sit heavy in his chest without thinking.
âI think you misunderstand, Logan.â You study him through your lashes, and he feels heâs become the keeper of your most sacred secrets. âItâs not about waiting as if my lifeâs on pause. Iâve been with other people. But in the end, I want to choose him.â
That casual admission strikes him like a wave of cold water. A flicker of jealousy burns at the edges of his composure, though he tries to smother it.
Iâve been with other people, you say, your tone so nonchalant, and yet the mental images that flood his mind are anything but comfortable.
He imagines someone else standing in your kitchen. Perhaps in five minutes, there will be another man knocking on your door, here to discuss a book, and it wonât be him.
Perhaps this isnât rare for youâall this come in, grab something to drink, letâs talk when youâre done reading.
Perhaps heâs not as important as you make him feel.
His thoughts spiral until your voice pulls him back from the brink.
âDonât you understand how beautiful it is?â Thereâs a dazzling glint in your expression, a light in your eyes that makes him ache. âOutside of these four walls, thereâs a person whoâs waiting to meet me, in the same way I expect to meet him. I canât grant myself the choice not to believe in something like this.â
Far from easing the martyr in his mind, this conversation only deepens his internal struggle. The questions overlap each other: what happens if you never find him? Would you ever consider settling for somebody else?
He rephrases that last oneâwould you ever consider being with him?
âHeâs a lucky guy,â Logan murmurs, and just like that, he feels himself slipping deeper, falling into the rabbit hole with you guiding him through the madness.
For a moment, he can pretendâpretend that matching scars and bonds that defy the rules of his principles make sense.
Maybe, just for you, heâll allow himself to believe it.
Your eyes soften with sudden emotion, glistening with the beginnings of tears. He feels the primal urge to reach out, to cup your cheek, to be there when the first tear falls. âYou think so?â you ask, your voice fragile.
I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you, especially when you are near me, as now.
âOf course I do,â he replies, his tone quiet but laden with a strange, undeniable truth.
It is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your frame.
Whatever this is between youâitâs messed up. Heâs messed up. And you⊠youâre just as tangled in this chaos for indulging it, for looking at him in that way that calls out to him.
The more time he spends with you, the less he feels like himself. Everything heâs done latelyâreading that damn book, standing in your apartment at 7 a.m.ânone of it feels like something heâd do.
Itâs not just his mind youâre messing with: itâs his very sense of self.
Loganâs smart mouth had always been a liability, getting him into trouble either by saying too much or by choosing the wrong words. Bad things had always followed in the wake of his tongue.
Somehow, when it comes to you, heâs the most careful heâs ever been. He doesnât want to upset you, nor does he want to be the cause of any sorrow that might affect your heart.
When the two of you stand at the threshold once more, just as you have other times before, you softly say: âI feel like Iâm experiencing a dĂ©jĂ vu.â
He laughs, because it sounds ridiculous. âCare to explain why?â
âYou come, we talk, you leave.â You lean against the wall, your hand ghosting over the handle. âBut you never stay that long.â
Thereâs no mistaking the layered meaning in your words. You, who work with language and its peculiarities for a living, never speak by chanceâevery phrase, every pause, carries an assigned weight. The double meaning in your statement doesnât escape either of you.
Youâre a natural at this madness, diving headfirst into it. You must be losing it, too, because your actions donât match what you said before.
Slowly, his fingers brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear, the perfect excuse to feel your skin, to close the distance without saying what he actually wants.
They say food and shelter are the basic human needs, but Logan chooses to believe they forgot to include the longing to reach out and just feel you.
âI canât stay,â he finally responds to your earlier comment, his hand still lingering against your skin.
His strengthâthe only thing saving him from completely giving inâhelps him pull himself away.
Before the impulse to kiss you becomes too overwhelming to resist, Logan leaves.
Some time later, youâre making lunch, music playing softly in the background at the same time the cityâs distinct noise finds a way to break through your tranquility.
You rely greatly on the knowledge that youâre good at multitaskingânow more than ever, with a book in one hand and the other stirring the pasta on the stove.
The warmth from the pot rises around you, but you trust yourself not to be careless. Not to be stupid enough to burn yourself with the boiling water.
This time, you miscalculate. Not only do you dip the wooden spoon into the pot, but your fingertips too.
Though it only lasts a second, and the voice in your head instantly screams Hot! Hot! Hot!, the shock makes you drop the book to the floor. You yank your hand back, racing to the sink to run it under cold water.
âFuck,â you grumble, watching the skin redden in protest. âLesson learned: no more multitasking.â
The funny thing is, just a door away, Loganâs watching a movie with Wade when he feels a sting in the tips of his fingers.
Itâs barely there, practically faint, but he looks down, inspecting his hand like it doesnât belong to his own body. His skin briefly flushes with irritation before returning to its normal state.
Wade notices his distraction. âHey, you okay?â
Logan pays no mind to it. âSure. Just felt something strange.â
Is it still called avoiding if youâre both doing it? Youâd like to think so.
For the sake of clarity, letâs say youâve been actively avoiding Logan, but truth be toldâheâs been avoiding you too. That last encounter in your apartment didnât help matters at all.
If anything, it made everything worse.
Youâve been down this road before, knowing men like him too well: theyâre everywhere, until theyâre not.
One day, they vanish without a trace, leaving you staring at the empty space they used to occupy, asking yourself âWhat happened to my Prince Charming in disguise?â
They disappear as though they never existed, and not even the best detective can track them down.
So far, your avoidance strategy has worked wonders. Maybe itâs for the best. Heâs a distractionâan undeniably attractive one, the kind anyone would want to trip over.
Yet you miss him, which is dumb: why are you missing someone you were never supposed to care about in the first place?
You return home after a long trip to the grocery store, arms laden with bags. Itâs the kind of errand that exhausts you, though you keep telling yourself itâs better than thinking about him.
As you struggle to get through the building's exit, you resign yourself to the fact that itâll take several trips to bring everything up to your apartment.
Then the elevator doors slide open, and you drop everything to the floor.
You shouldâve known better than to assume victory so soon. After days of successfully avoiding him, there he is.
And of course, itâs when you look your worstâtired from running around, weighed down by groceries, barely holding it together.
âHey,â he greets you, standing just outside the elevator, like heâs not sure if he should step inside or stay where he is. Heâs dressed in a red-and-black flannel shirt, layered over a white vest, a leather jacket tossed over his shoulders, and a pair of jeans that seem made for him.
He looks... ridiculously good.
âHi,â you manage to answer after a beat, scrambling to collect the bags youâd dropped. âJustâgive me a second.â
âLet me help you,â Logan says, ducking down to gather the groceries, but you pull them away.
âIâve got it. Are you going out? On a date, maybe?â You nod toward his clothes, trying to keep things light, teasing even.
Glancing down at himself, a crease appears between his brows, and in one swoop, he gathers all the bags with a single hand. âIâm supposed to meet Wade at a bar, but heâll survive without me.â
âLogan, you donâtââ
But heâs already moving, one hand tugging you out of the elevator, the other gesturing toward your apartment.
âNot up for debate,â he mutters. Then, without waiting for permission, he holds out his hand. âKeys.â
Sighing, you dig into your pocket and drop them into his open palm. He unlocks the door with practiced ease, stepping inside and placing the bags on your kitchen counter.
As he starts to unpack them, you stop him. âYou really donât need to do that.â
That seems to catch his attention. He pauses, turning toward you with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the counter.
His unrelenting stare sizes you up, and he cocks his head to the side. âHavenât seen you in a while.â
He thinks heâs so discreet, so smooth. âWell, Iâve been busy,â you explain, fiddling with the frayed edge of your sweater, tugging at it like it might unravel your nerves.
You hear him click his tongue. âBeen busy too.â His words hang in the air, thickening the atmosphere. Your body tenses, and you stare at his shoes, untilâ âSweetheart,â he calls you softly, and your eyes snap shut for a moment, your chin almost pressing against your chest. âMy eyes are up here.â
A quick flutter of your lashes brings you back to him, and your chest tightens with the effort it takes to look into his eyes. âDonât you have somewhere to be?â you ask, praying heâll let this go.
You watch as his mouth twitches with something halfway between a smile and a smirk. âYou already want me to leave?â
âIf you have plans, then yeah.â
He huffs out a laugh, inhaling a shallow breath like youâve missed something obvious. âWade can wait. Heâll be fine.â His expression shifts, and the playful tone in his voice falls away, replaced by something more raw. âYouâve been avoiding me.â
You canât help but snort. âOh, please. Like you havenât been doing the same.â You walk over to the couch, feeling your legs wobble beneath you. You collapse into one corner, hoping the distance will help you breathe.
Like a shadow, Logan follows after you, sitting far too close. His legs splay wide, so wide theyâre almost grazing yours.
âAt least I have a reason for it. What about you?â His hand reaches out, fingers closing around yours in a grip thatâs both firm and gentle, enhancing your anxiety. Your throat tightens, the room shrinking around you. âI need you to tell me Iâm not crazy,â he says, his voice rough and low. âI need you to tell me you feel it too.â
Panic flares in your chest, and you scramble for time. âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you mutter, but your voice cracks, the uncertainty leaking through the cracks in your bravado.
He doesnât buy your acting. âYou do. We canât keep playing dumb. Youâre gonna make me lose my fuckinâ mind one of these days.â
Itâs not just his wordsâitâs the way he stands so close, heat radiating from his body, the roughness of his hand gripping yours like heâs terrified youâll slip away.
The intensity of it all weighs on you in ways you canât even begin to describe, leaving you breathless, caught between denial and desire.
âLogan, this isnâtââ
âWhat? Okay?â Thereâs a glimpse of mirthlessness in his tone as he speaks, his forehead furrowing. âI canât stay away from you, donât you see it? It feels too good to be wrong,â he utters, inching forward. You know you should take a step back, tell him to stop. Nothing good can come from this. âIt takes two to feel these things. It canât be just me.â
âThat doesnât mean we have to give in.â Blood pounds in your ears, your pulse racing as your heart hammers unpleasantly. Little shivers of ice run through your spine, and yet, your stomach burns with desire.
More than ever, you feel yourself slipping, your sanity at risk.
Logan runs his eyes up and down your face, agitated, almost going cross-eyed. âEarlier you asked if I was going on a date. Would you like that? Me being with other people? Kissing another woman?â His hot breath caresses your cheek, and you avert your gaze momentarily. âAnswer me.â
Donât do it. For the love of God, donât. âI canâtâI donâtââ
âCome on, baby.â
âI donât want you to be with other people,â you mumble, your lips almost grazing his, and thatâs all he needs to grip your chin and pull you into a kiss.
His mouth moves hungrily over yours, pushing you back until the armrest digs into your lower back. A choked whimper gets lost in your throat, and you bring him closer by grabbing onto the lapels of his jacket, your chest pressing against his.
Logan bites down on your lip, soothing the sting with his tongue, and the moan you let out reverberates in the apartment.
âThis is what you were hiding from me?â he rasps, his forehead bumping against yours. âThese sweet sounds you make?â
You end up perched in his lap, your thighs bracketing his hips. Heâs hard beneath you, and as you shift, your center makes contact with his erection through the layers of fabric.
Both of you sigh into each otherâs mouths, your hips moving on their own accord, rocking slightly against his clothed cock. He hooks one of his arms around your waist, guiding your movements.
Everything seems to fall into place. Outside your window, birds chirp. The world feels lighter, like a better place. The beast inside you quiets, and for once, your mind is blissfully blank.
Logic? Error 404ânot found.
You tug at his hair, and Logan growls, breaking the kiss. âDo that again.â He jerks under your touch, bucking up into you. Encouraged, you pull his hair again, fingers wrapping around a strand at the nape of his neck, and youâre rewarded with a deep groan.
Heâs dizzy for it, but youâre no better, not when he trails his kisses down your neck, his mouth latching onto your skin, tasting the sweat and salt.
âI canât control myself around you,â he murmurs, groping your tits, and you wail, the ache between your legs becoming intolerable. His hands slip under your sweater, caressing the scars on your back.
Thatâs when recognition settles over you.
What are you doing? And why are you doing it?
He ceases sucking your flesh when you go rigid on top of him. Pecking your lips once again, Loganâs hands cradle your face, his thumbs rubbing circles on your cheeks. âWhatâs wrong?â
You donât understand how he does it, how he can remain so calm. Doesnât he realize the gravity of this? âWe have to stop.â
âWhy?â
âDonât ask me something you already know the answer to.â
His arms drop to his sides, releasing you from his hold. You push yourself off him, away from the couch, putting as much distance between you as you can.
Pressing your palms to your eyes, you shake your head. âGod, Iâm stupid. This is stupid.â
Your reaction seems to get on his nerves, his frustration somehow increasing. Logan stands, towering over you. âWas it stupid when you were dry humping me?â
âFuck you, Logan.â
âIâm not the bad guy here. You kissed me back.â He doesnât let up, trailing behind you as you try to escape. âYou want me as much as I want you.â
âWill you stop saying that?â you bark, throwing your arms in the air. Your chest rises and falls with rapid breaths. âYeah, we like each other. So? Does that make it right? How can you just ignore how wrong this is?â
His expression hardens, anger flashing in his eyes. âForget your idea of what's good and bad. You're just upset you can't control what you feel.â
âHeâs closer than ever.â
Logan gawks at you, his voice bitter as he goes on with his rambling. âThat fucker again? Donât you ever get tired of talking about someone who you donât even know? Because youâre certainly wearing me out.â
âYou wish you were him, donât you?â You jab your finger into his chest, feeling his heartbeat, a flutter you choose to ignore. âYou want to be my soulmate.â
âDamn right I do,â he practically spits his words, narrowing his eyes at you. âBut Iâm not him.â
âNo. Youâre not.â
Everything seems to fall out of place. Outside your window, birds donât chirpâthey scream for mercy. The world doesnât feel lighter, but heavier. The beast inside you roars back to life, restless and louder than ever, while your mind spins in chaos.
âWe shouldnât see each other anymore.â Your voice pierces through the thick silence in the room, and you swallow down the lump forming in your throat.
âIf thatâs what you want,â he replies, his jaw clenched tight, irritation radiating off him in waves.
âItâs what we both need.â
âSpeak for yourself. I donât have a soulmate.â His tone is biting, but you donât miss the undercurrent of longing in his words. âBut if in any other universe I do, I hope itâs you.â
Your hand turns the knob, and then heâs halfway out the door, sparing you one last glance before he turns his back to you.
No more visits. No more books. No more bruising kisses that leave you questioning your mere existence.
Let things stay as they areâitâs safer that way. You donât want to know the reason behind this forceful need.
After all, being his grumpy and ill-tempered self, heâll stay holed up in Wadeâs apartment, avoiding any interaction with the real world. And you? Youâll forget about him. Easy-peasy.
It didnât go well in the end.
You remember your first heartbreakâseventeen, fresh out of high school. One of your hands clutched a million dreams, and the other, a pillow soaked with your tears.
Your mother remained by your side, caressing your back, attempting to soothe the sobs that racked your body. She murmured that itâd pass, that you wouldnât feel like this forever. You believed her then, and trusted that things would eventually be okay.
Almost ten years later, another heartbreak shouldnât come as a surprise. By now, you thought you wouldâve developed the tools to survive it. You should be able to piece yourself back together by instinct.
But life, as it turns out, has a peculiar way of catching you off guard.
Whether itâs pent-up horniness, touch-starvation, or genuine affectionâit doesn't change the fact that your pseudo-relationship with Logan fell apart.
Though youâre not the one whoâs suffering the most. Neither is Logan.
Wade, the third party in this tangled mess, has somehow taken it the hardest.
âI feel like a child of divorce,â he says, his head resting on your lap, eyes distant as they fixate on the peeling wallpaper. âYou need to do something about that.â
âIâll take care of it next month.â
Heâs supposed to be the one supporting you, but it feels like the roles are reversedâyouâre comforting him, letting him vent.
âMy two favorite people now canât even be in the same room. What are we gonna do for Christmas? New Year's Eve?â Straightening up, he grabs the nearest cushion and buries his face into it to muffle a defeated scream. âDamn it, Cupid! You had one job!â
All in all, Wadeâs emotionally unavailable at the moment, grieving your separation from Logan as if it were his own loss, too caught up in his melodrama to be of any real help.
Meanwhile, you fill your days with work, books, anything to keep your mind occupied.
You go to bed too late, you wake up too early. Sleep too little, cry too much.
One thing stays constantâyou and Logan donât talk. Stolen glances in the hallway, awkward elevator ridesâthose are the only remnants of whatever you once were. Back to being strangers again.Â
Well, not really. Strangers donât know the route to your mouth the way he does.
The ache lingers every day. Missing him when youâre awake is a common occurrence. At night, as you toss and turn beneath the sheets, he stars in your dreams. You canât recall the last time he wasnât lodged in your thoughts.Â
Where there used to be ideas, creativity, and plots worth scribbling down, thereâs now only Loganâa man destined to problematize your stay on earth.
That fucker again? Donât you ever get tired of talking about someone who you donât even know? Because youâre certainly wearing me out.
And yet, despite all of it, you continue to prioritize someone else. Someone who isnât even here. Clung to the idea of a soulmate, you chose him over Logan.
What did he expect? For you to abandon your principles, your belief in destiny? Itâs who you are. Nearly thirty years of life guided by one belief canât just be discarded like trash.
You liked to separate things into categories: good and bad, right and wrong. A simple method to structure everything, to make sense of your world, and it has worked most of the time.
But now? The limits of those sacred categories look blurred. Your judgment feels unreliable, and you wonder if the choices youâve made lately have been the correct ones.
Each of your decisions seems to be leading you further down a path you canât recognize.Â
Whatâs the goal? Finding your soulmate, the voice in your head mockingly answers for the hundredth time, rolling its imaginary eyes. And where is he?
Youâve shut Logan out, a man whoâs made it clear he has feelings for you, for this elusive person. Isnât it time he steps into the light at long last?
This is what you fear the most: loneliness.
You donât want to be the lone woman who sits by herself in a cafe, drawing pity from waitresses who discuss her solitude. By no means do you wish to be that friend who dispenses wise dating advice, but goes home to an empty bed. You refuse to become the godmother whose hand no one holds when her time comes.
No, this canât be all fate has to offer to you. There must be more. If your life were a book, youâd be flipping through the pages to the last chapter, desperate to see how it ends.
Or, better yet, youâd grab a pen and rewrite it yourself. What kind of ending youâll haveâyouâre not so sure about that.
Itâs Sunday, one of those endless weekends where the only way to survive is by rearranging your entire apartment. You could manage it alone, but help would be niceâWadeâs help, to be more precise, would be perfect for this kind of task, and you find yourself knocking on his door.Â
No answer. Deciding to dial his number to see if heâs fallen asleep, you try calling him, waiting through the rings until he finally picks up. âHey.â
Except itâs not Wadeâs voice that answers. âIâm sorry, who is this?â
The door swings open, and Logan appears right behind it, holding Wadeâs phone to his ear.
He narrows his eyes, leaning against the frame, a single eyebrow lifted in curiosity. âHow sad. You donât remember what I sound like.â
You feel foolish for still being on the call, so you lock your phone, ending it. âWhereâs Wade?â you ask, frowning as you hold your breath, your voice sharper than intended.
âOut and about. Didnât tell me where he was going,â Logan replies, glaring at you as he raises the phone to your face. âHe left without this.â
Abort mission! Nodding in agreement, you begin to step back. âGreat, Iâll look for him later.â
Youâre close to being locked up once again in the safety of your apartment when you hear him: âYou need anything?â
Itâs the most heâs said to you in weeks. You hesitate, keeping your back turned. âIâm moving some heavy stuff around. Thought I could use the help.â
âI could do it.â
No. Not really. Heâs doing that thing againâoffering help when you know you shouldnât accept it. You shake your head.
âItâs not necessary,â you say, forcing a casual tone.
âDoesnât have to mean anything,â he retorts, his footsteps heavy and deliberate as they draw closer. With each passing second, your options shrink, leaving you no room for retreat. âDonât worry. I wonât try to kiss you again if thatâs whatâs got you all worked up.â
âIâm not worked up,â you hiss, and he sidesteps you easily, his arm nudging yours.
The electricity is still there, undeniable, but neither of you has the courage to acknowledge it, acting as though itâs an ordinary occurrence.
His eyes roam the room, like heâs forgotten what your apartment looked like. He pauses by the bookshelf, his fingers gliding over the spine of Jane Eyre, and a low whistle escapes him as he slips it back into place.Â
You, frozen at the threshold, feel your irritation simmering just beneath the surface, and the urge to hide in your bedroom only becomes stronger.
After this, youâll have to burn your favorite book. What a pity.
âWhat do you want me to do?â he asks, hooking his fingers into the loops of his jeans, his posture both confident and annoyingly relaxed.
Thereâs a challenge in his tone, and he acts as if youâre the one who pulled him into this situationâlike he didnât worm his way in here.
You gesture toward the couch. âCan you put it by the window?â
He sets to work, moving the smaller pieces of furniture aside to make space for the couch. Under no circumstances are you going to just stand there and watch him sweat.
Instead, you busy yourself with the long-forgotten glasses and cups gathering dust in one of the kitchen cabinets, each one glinting with past disappointments.
Wetting a towel, you start by wiping the rims. The air feels heavily charged with uneasiness, but you're relieved that for once, you can breathe without feeling like youâre on the brink of a heart attack.
You can already imagine Wadeâs face when you tell himâ
âSo,â Loganâs voice cuts through the silence, startling you, âhowâs the search going? Got any luck?â
His words have the desired effect on you, and the glass slips from your grasp, shattering against the floor in a crash that mirrors the jump of your heart. You curse under your breath, stepping back from the mess, taking in the shards sprawled around your shoes.
âBe careful,â he says from the other side of the room, still dragging the furniture into place, and you scrutinize him over your shoulder, your brows knitted.
âI donât need your advice,â you murmur through gritted teeth as you crouch to pick up the larger shards. His attention returns to the couch, but you guess heâs not technically thinking how nice of a person you are.
As you kneel, your hands tremble slightly, and you wonder when that started. You fumble for a larger shard of glass, bracing your hand against the floor for balance, unaware of the smaller piece lying dangerously close to your fingers.
The sting comes fast, slicing through the skin of your pinky. You flinch, raising your hand, and Logan, hearing the faint wince, abandons his task and crosses the room to you.
"I donât need your advice," he echoes, mocking your tone as he squats beside you, his hand closing around yours to inspect the wound. "Youâre bleeding."
âBrilliant observation, Sherlock. I hadnât noticedââ The words die in your throat, your eyes widening as you take a closer look at his hand. âWait, why are you bleeding?â
He snorts, diverting his attention to his own hand. âWhat do you mean Iâmââ Whatever it is he intended to shoot back remains unsaid as both of you stare down at the small cut in his pinky.
Driven by instinct, you place your hands side by side, your finger grazing his. The cuts are identical: same place, same width, same depth. The only difference is his vanishes within seconds, leaving only a few droplets of crimson blood as evidence.
Logan couldnât have cut himself. He was nowhere near the glass. âAre youâŠ?â You swallow thickly, trying to string together a coherent thought, dizziness making its triumphant appearance. âAre you thinking what Iâm thinking?â
âYes.â
âAnd what is thatââ
âI need a drink.â
âCan you stop acting like a dick for one second?â You peer into his glossy eyes, watching him try to avoid your gaze, though he canât seem to resist. âPlease, Logan. Look at me.â
When he does, his mouth parts as if to speak, then closes again. âI donât understand. I thought I didnât have a soulmate.â His gruff tone slows even further, like he's straining to push the words from his lungs. âI thoughtâI thought I was alone.â
It explains so much: how your scars had reappeared once he and Wade returned from The Void.Â
The instant attraction, the yearning to be near him.
The dread that washed over you each time he walked away.
The dreams that plagued your nights, and the tightness in your chest these past few weeks that made you wonder if you could ever coexist in the same space as him without breaking apart.
All those times you felt he was getting closer werenât just a figment of your imaginationâhe was, in fact, right there.
But he wasnât just anyoneâit was him. Logan is your soulmate. You two are meant to be together. How long would it take for you to truly believe it? Until it no longer sounded like something too good to be true?
Without uttering a sound, Logan gazes at you, silently pleading to see them. To see your scars. You extend your arm, and with a gentle motion, he rolls up the sleeve of your shirt, revealing the marks etched into your skin.
He runs his fingers along the lines, trying to understand the bond you now shareâboth his and yours.
In a sense, youâre his. You carry his scars, the physical manifestation of the life he has lived. Even though he may not bear any of his own, you do, and thatâs more than enough.
He belongs to you just as much as you belong to him.
âThere are more,â you tell him. your voice barely above a whisper. He stands, offering you his hand, and you take it, rising to your feet. Logan inches closer, his mouth hovering just above yours, his large hand coming up to cup your cheek.
The look he gives you is one reserved for those he loves, a look filled with such warmth and affection that it almost feels dreamlike.
âDo you want me to see them?â he inquires, and all he needs is a nod from you to gently tug your shirt up your chest and over your head.
He lets out a dry chuckle when you attempt to tame your hair, the effort proving to be in vain. The clock on the wall seems to pause its ticking the moment his fingers begin to trail each of the scars that captures his gaze.
You canât even begin to fathom what thoughts might be swirling in his mind, but if the flicker of lust and desire you catch in his expression is anything to go by, youâre not so worried.
Loganâs touch carries an unexpected softness, a tenderness you never imagined a man like him could possess.
Deep down, you wish he understood that these scars donât hurt, that they never have. âIâm okay,â you reassure him, prompting him to explore more of your skin, to claim you as his.
âDo you⊠like them?â he asks without meeting your eyes.
Do you like my scars? is the real question hidden underneath.
Do you like me? is the one he canât bring himself to pronounce.
âTheyâre yours. I could never not like them.âÂ
Before you stands a man you once believed was meant to be your burden, your trial. Logan had been the earthquake sent to test your endurance, to see how much you could withstand before surrendering and waving the white flag.
The same fingers that once imprinted his mark on you now linger on the strap of your bra, waiting for you to decide whether to let him go further or stop.
Desire has a limit before it overwhelms. Thereâs only so much need a person can contain before it spills over, uncontrollable and raw.
This game, one you never learned how to play, feels as foreign to him as it does to youâneither of you knows the rules.
âCan I see more?â Heâs still talking about the scars, still fumbling with the strap, and you nod, your eyelids growing droopier as you take his free hand and direct it to the front of your jeans.
He catches the hint, undoing the button with ease, allowing you to shed the last layers of restraint.
Bare, moments away from being completely naked, standing in stark contrast to Logan, who remains fully clothed, your stomach does a flip as he rubs his thumb along the sides of your underwear.
Leaning your forehead against his shoulder, you stifle a sigh when he splays his hand across your lower back, pulling you closer.
His rough grip tightens on your ass, testing the feel of you, while your breathing becomes shallow, erratic.
âWhat is it, honey?â He slides his fingers your stomach, just below your belly button, brushing a small scar in there. âWant me to touch you?â
âYes,â you croak, the plea slipping out involuntarily, throwing your arms around his neck. He buries his face against your jaw, his lips parting against your skin, trailing open-mouthed kisses along the curve of your neck.
You tilt your head back, exposing more of your throat to him, breathless as you whisper: âIâve waited so long.â
He moves toward the couch, and you follow, trying to anticipate what heâs got planned for you. âI know, baby. I know. Youâve waited long enough.â Guiding your body down, he has you lying horizontally on the sofa. He unhooks your bra, kneading your breasts with both hands, eliciting a ragged gasp from you. âBut Iâm here now. You donât have to wait any longer,â he huffs by your ear, rolling your nipples between his fingers, his breath mingling with yours, each exhale warm and inviting. âGonna let me make you feel good? Show you how much Iâve been thinkinâ about you?â
Instead of answering with real words, you surge forward, crashing your lips against with his, reveling in the way he cages you with his biceps, locking you up in a prison of desire from which you never wish to break free. He tries not to settle his full weight on top of you, attentive not to crush you.
As he nips at the column of your throat, you squirm beneath him, canting your hips up to seek the friction you crave.
He presses his knee against your center and you push back, grinding against him with an animalistic urgency.
You canât recall ever feeling this desperate, this overwhelmed by a man. But then again, heâs unlike any other youâve encountered in your array of momentary hookups.
His kisses grow even more insistent as breathy moans roll off to your tongue, merging with the occasional creak of the couch beneath your movements.
Logan spreads your thighs wider, sinking to his knees on the floor to tug your lower half forward until your ass is almost hanging in the air. He places your thighs on his shoulders, supporting you as he leans in to pepper your soft flesh with kisses.
One can be certain that heâs marking your inner thighs with a hickey or two, the scratch of his beard feeling magnificent against your sensitive skin, and you can hardly bring yourself to think about the potential burn heâll leave behind. Logan inhales your scent, the tip of his nose dangerously close to your cunt, and you tangle a hand in his hair as he continues to test your patience.
âEager?â he wonders aloud, looking at you through his lashes. While maintaining eye contact, he presses a kiss to your clit through the fabric of your panties.
He does it again, and you bite your lip hard enough to draw blood, his fingers deftly pulling your underwear down your legs.
The first drag of his tongue along your folds has you scrunching your eyebrows in pleasure, tightening your grip on his hair. Logan moans against you, the sound muffled as he dips the tip of his tongue into your entrance, lapping at your arousal with an insatiable hunger.
The way you purr his nameâa soft caress, a pat on his back that says Yeah, youâre doing fineâonly spurs him on, infusing every one of his ministrations with fervor.
His longing for you radiates in the intensity of his touch, sending shivers through you, making you writhe because of his hands alone.
Your core throbs. Your skin prickles with electricity. Your legs quake on either side of his face. Heâs hungry and youâre his feast. Heâs parched and youâre the last bottle of water in an arid world.
Logan eats you out like this will be the only time heâll have the privilegeâeach movement calculated, pushing all the right buttons, pulling out every trick he knows to make you think No, it doesnât get any better than this. This is as much as one can get.
Then his fingers join the symphony of pleasure, pumping in and out of you as he keeps flicking your clit with expert precision, and your back arches from the couch, following his pace with your hips. He pushes back, you push forwardâhe pushes forward, you push back.
Who is enjoying this more: him or you?
His pointed tongue teases your bud, matched with the persistent hammering of his fingers plunged into your wet heat. The combination has you coming on his mouth, falling over the precipice while you struggle to keep yourself together.
Your walls flutter around his digits, and your cries fuse with his groans, both overshadowed by his insatiable desire to savor until the last drop of your release.
Shockwaves ripple through your body and you prop your weight on your arms to capture his lips in a fervent kiss, your eyes rolling rolling back in ecstasy as you taste yourself, a mix of sour and sweet.
In a frenzy, he sheds his clothes, practically tearing them away, and you wrap your hand around his length, stroking him in time with your kisses. Logan pulls back, panting against you, and you steal a glance at him.
Your gaze travels down to his hard cock, the tip a furious red, and he seizes your wrist.
âWhy donât you kiss it better?â he rasps, his voice dropping an octave. In this moment, youâre taken aback by his beauty, and the urge to express it rises within you.
âYouâre so beautiful,â you murmur against his thigh, showering his skin with heated kisses. You stare in disbelief at the trail of hair leading to his girth, mouth watering at the sight.
A kiss on the tip, followed by a broad lick along a prominent veinâLoganâs grip on the armrest tightens, his knuckles turning white. âSo perfect.â
âShut up,â he retorts breathlessly, but you revel in the strangled noise that escapes him as you take him deeper, his head disappearing between your lips. His palm rests on your nape, anchoring you in place. âGoddammit. The fuckinââmouth you have on you.â
You try to take him in further once youâre feeling more confident, while Logan fights with all his might against the need to thrust his hips up into your warmth. He canât stay still, grunting and smothering you with lavish praise that heightens your arousal, slick pouring out of you in waves.
âPretty thing you are. Donât even know how to function around you. You got me allâfuck, actinâ all stupid.â
At one point, he tells you to stop, because he doesnât want to come just yet. You know what comes next as he rubs his cock along your folds, blending your wetness with his precum.
Itâs sloppy, and dirty, and messyâand God, do you love it.
He sinks into you and the world collides in a way you never expected. Everything you thought you knew falls apart, leaving you stranded in unfamiliar territory.
You canât comprehend how youâve spent so many years without him. Without this.
Your lips find his, and he swallows every sound he punches out of your lungs. His thrusts grow harder and faster as you adjust to his size, how big he feels inside you.
He digs his fingers into the globes of your ass, yanking you towards his shaft every time he fucks into you. You feel the brush of his balls against your skin, the way his muscles flex beneath your touch.
To this day, itâs still hard for you to wrap your head around the fact that love is what humans both strive and die for.
You come to understand it fully as his eyes flicker to yours, checking for any signs of discomfort in your features.
You understand why people write books and songs about love when he breathes your name in the shell of your ear, chanting how good youâre taking him, how tight and wet you are for him.
You understand the place love occupies in your life as the sound of your bodies slapping together creates a melody which has never been played before.
You understand why youâve searched for this your entire life, lifting every carpet in hopes of uncovering the love youâve pined for.
In the past, it had always felt like a raceâfinding your soulmate before the clock struck twelve. Now that you have him, you wonder what the future holds for you, how this connection will evolve.
For now, you can allow yourself the possibility of relishing the drag of his cock in your interior. His pace doesnât falter for a secondâsomething about mutants and their non-stop stamina, no doubt. He shoves a hand between your sweaty bodies, rubbing circles on your already swollen bud.
Each time he fills you to the brim, you have to ground yourself, resisting the pull of an altered reality.
âSo full,â you blurt out, mewling with a specially hard thrust, a chocked sob lodged in your throat. âPlease, stay.â
It could mean many things: Please, keep fucking me. Please, donât leave after this. Please, remain by my side form this moment onward, because I donât know how to go on with my life now that Iâve experienced this closeness.
Whatever meaning he ascribes to your words is of little importance. He tightens his arms around you, kissing you deeply, tongue and teeth clashing as they compete to see who wins the battle. âNever. Iâm never lettinâ you go, yâhear me?â
Heat pools in your lower back, a coiling tension radiating through your limbs. âYouâre mine, princess. Canât afford to lose you now that I found you. Gonna remind you every day.â
His rambling pushes you over the edge, your dripping cunt spasming around him as you reach your climax, moaning his name against his shoulder. You cling to him, convulsing beneath his body, and he grinds his hips into yours, his chest rumbling as he growls.
âInside,â you mumble, extending your hand to press it to his waist. âNeed you inside me. Please, I want it so bad.â
Logan stutters against you, his forehead falling against your collarbone as he finishes with one powerful thrust, his cock pulsing warm ropes of come within your cunt. You clench around him, whining as he prolongs both your pleasure and his, milking the last drop of his seed. His voice is a constant murmur, filling every space in the room until he slumps against you.
Night has fallen. The cut on your pinky no longer stings. Your scars, after all, are still there, nestled against Loganâs unmarked skin. You caress his back, sighing contentedly as a wave of peace washes over you.
Youâve never felt this relaxed.
Logan grasps your chin and tilts it up, a subtle smirk tugging at his lips. âHey,â he mutters, his gaze roaming all over your face.
You cup his cheek, his rough stubble grazing your palm. âHey, stranger. Long time no see.â
A genuine laugh pierces through the silence. the kind he rarely allows himself. Crinkles form at the corners of his eyes, his brow furrowing as he glances at you with love.
Loveâhadnât you pondered its existence for so long? Your fuel for living, the muse behind your best poems, a recurring motif in your fantasies.
Love now has Loganâs name written in ink, no longer a blank canvas awaiting its unknown owner. Noâitâs all his now.
Youâd do it all over again if it meant ending up like this, tangled and intertwined, with the promise of a future together. He has many stories to shareâabout his past universe, about himself. You have secrets to unveil, too. Thereâs so much you both have yet to discover about each other.
But time isnât up. This isnât a race, you remind yourself: things are just getting started.
Everywhere you go, every place you attempt to set foot in, there it is. Love is dressed up in an expensive silk robe, a ribbon tied neatly on top of it. You reach closer, trying to unravel it, though it's pointless. The moment love sees youâtruly sees your longing for itâit flees, and you struggle to keep up. Love runs faster than anyone, hiding within the bushes, counting the seconds until its next appearance.
Finally, youâve wrapped love around your finger.
dividers by: @cafekitsune thank you!!! <3
#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine#wolverine x you#wolverine x reader#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett xmen#logan howlett fic#logan howlett smut#logan howlett fanfiction#logan james howlett#james howlett#wolverine angst#wolverine fic#wolverine fanfiction#deadpool and wolverine#wade wilson#logan x reader#logan x you#logan xmen#wolverine xmen#wolverine x y/n#the worst logan x reader#the worst wolverine#worst wolverine#logan howlett x f!reader#james logan howlett#deadpool 3#the wolverine x reader
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Whiskey, Neat, With a Side of You - T.F.
Synopsis. When your date stands you up, youâre lucky that the hot bartender is more than happy to keep you company!Â
Pairing. Bartender! Toji Fushiguro x Reader
Content. MDNI, fem! reader, strangers to lovers, unprotected, pĂșssydrunk Toji, cĂșmplay, oral (female + male receiving), crĂ©ampie, some heinous things with pantĂes, dirty talk, spitting, whĂskey, neither are drunk, absolutely filthy, pet names (doll), swearing.
Word count. 4.6k
A/N. Was originally gonna be Nanami but Toji mmmm
âSo, that date of yours is late, huh?â
You donât know what shocks you more - the question, or the voice from behind the counter - so very deep, tinged with just a bit of amusement.
Tearing your eyes away from the clock at the other end of the bar, it takes a second - and one look around the almost-empty room - for you to realize that shit the hot bartender was talking to you. Sputtering out a quick, âOh, yes, um-â quickly reading that faded nametag, â-Toji. Heâs a bit late.â
The man in front of you raises a brow, dark green eyes locked on the way you shift in your seat. He seemed a bit older, and - you gulp, eyeing the way his arms flex as he fumbles with the shaker - so undeniably attractive. Plowing on obliviously, âBoyfriend?â Â
You sigh, pinching your nose, âNo, some guy from a dating app. Itâs supposed to be our first date.âÂ
âFirst date?â Toji lets out a low whistle. âWay to make an impression, dunno what type of asshat would keep a pretty lilâ thing like you waiting.â
Cheeks flaring, you donât know what it is about him that makes you want to defend yourself, but it doesnât matter anyway - because whatever rambled excuse gets stuck in your throat at the sharp scrape of glass against the counter. Large hands gently placing a pretty pink daiquiri in front of you, Toji gives you a reassuring nod. âSâon the house till that dumbass shows up. Until then, you can keep me company, doll.â
Playing with the straw between your fingers, your eyes flit to the clock again - 8:10pm.
Well, there was still time. Right?Â
Nonsense, maybe.
Because itâs around 10:21pm when you conclude that no, there really wasnât still time, and your date seemed well and fully intent on completely embarrassing you. And now, him still nowhere in sight, lips a bit looser, you were having the time of your life complaining all about it to Toji.
â-no, I swear.â you groan over his low chuckle. âHe really gave me the âsorry, my dog ate my keysâ gem. And you know the best part?â Beckoning him over to whisper conspiratorially in his ear - heart stuttering at the heat of his proximity, âThe man doesnât even own a dog.â
Shaking his head, Toji seemed like he was drinking in your every word. âClassic. If yer gonna be late, at least make it interesting. Like, âI accidentally joined the circus on the way here.ââ
âMhm, Iâll have to keep that in mind for my next no-show date.â you grin, suddenly feeling a lot lighter than you were a few hours ago. Nowhere near tipsy, but definitely high off the conversation and the addictive scent of his cologne - the expensive kind that left you wondering whether all of him smelled this delicious.Â
âOr better yet, you could spend your time with someone who actually knows how to keep you entertained rather than some scrub.â
Snapping out of your little reverie, lifting your head just fast enough to catch the little smirk tugging Tojiâs lips. Managing to grit out, âSmooth, huh?â
âJust sayinâ.â he hums, before turning his back to organize the glasses on the shelf. And you canât help but traitorously admire his broad shoulders, cursing that t-shirt for being so goddamn tight that you could see the way his muscles ripple with each movement.Â
âBesides-â Catching the tail-end of Tojiâs question, â-neat whiskey for all the failed dates?â
You chuckle, âAh, I really shouldnât, the other customers will probably-â your sentence dies in your throat as a quick glance at the empty room showed that everyone else had eventually left - leaving just you. And Toji. Damn. Slow day, huh?
âWell, doll?â
Heaving out a shaky breath, you nod. Eyes zoning in on the way he expertly handles the glasses, so dizzyingly inviting. It makes a sheepish smile play at your lips, letting out a quiet little, âDespite all the shitty dates, Iâve actually never had whiskey neat before.â
Oh? That made him pause. Eyes widening ever-so-slightly as he sets down the glasses and leans in a little closer, breath hot against your face. âNever?â
âNever.â
âWell.â Toji muses. âThis overpriced shit canât be your first intro to neat whiskey. If youâre up for it, Iâve got a special 1926 Macallan stashed away in the back nâ can get it for us?â
Oh. Maybe it was that slow, silent grin that curls his lips, that sinful little scar moving as he does. Or maybe it was the way he places a hand on the counter to stare down so heavily at you. Probably it was just him - because you find yourself batting your lashes so deceivingly innocently, âOr I could just go with you?â
And shit if there was ever a time where Toji was sure he met his match then it might just be right now. Because that sultry lilâ smirk on your lips was killing him, making such a carnal little part of him twitch so dangerously. With a heavy nod, youâre following him through the dimly lit bar.
The back room is more of a VIP room than anything - cozy, lined with shelves of alcohol and leather furniture. Heady with the liquor and something so so Toji.Â
Youâre halfway through reading the title of a wine you could barely pronounce before heâs letting out a grunt of satisfaction from behind you, âExcuse me, doll.â Itâs all thatâs said before Tojiâs pressing up against you. His muscular arm just inches from your head, reaching for something from the very top shelf. And oh you could feel his abs rubbing up against your back, so warm and-Â
And then heâs pulling away.Â
It was quite hard to stomp down the disappointed whine that almost leaves your throat, and if you didnât know any better youâd have said something about the amused little glint in his eyes. Smug bastard knew what he was doing.Â
Instead focusing on the way he turns to show off a bottle with a deceivingly innocent reverence. âThis is going to be a real treat.â
Well. Two can play that game.
âIs that so?â you tilt your head, reaching out to grab the bottle neck, with not as much care of concern as you should have considering this was a million dollar whiskey. Swiftly unclasping the lid, focused only on the way Tojiâs breath hitches as you fist his t-shirt in your other hand to pull him close to you - so close.
Close enough that you could count every shade of green in those half-lidded eyes, long lashes fluttering as your breath fans his face. âSuch a shame we didnât bring our glasses, huh?â
Oh the devilish grin that splits across his face sends such delicious shivers down your spine - Toji gets your drift. Of course, he does. Because heâs squishing your cheeks together in an almost-embarrassing pout, fingers searing on your skin, lips ghosting yours, âYeah, real shame.âÂ
Immediately bringing the bottle to his mouth, letting the burning liquid pool on his tongue, he spits into your mouth, once. Twice.Â
A steady stream of whiskey, and spit. It tasted just like the acrid alcohol and sin. And Toji.Â
And it was so messy, smearing across your lips and trickling down your chin. Tilting your head back, you let it flow down your throat obscenely. Locked in his greedy gaze as you loll your tongue out to show off the way youâd swallowed everything he gave.Â
âMaybe I do like neat whiskey.â
And then heâs kissing you - and youâre kissing him because fuck Toji was intoxicating and just there. That little scar rubbing against your lips as he devours you so sloppily, all hard muscles and heated skin underneath your fingertips.Â
âFuck.â he hisses into your open mouth. Setting down the whiskey God-knows-where near the couch to pick you up like a ragdoll. Drinking in the cute lilâ gasp that leaves you as you wrap your legs around his slutty waist. Groping and kneading every inch of skin he could reach. âHow ya likinâ the Macallan, doll?â
âA âreal treatâ.â you mimic his earlier words, voice slightly broken as you feel his rock-hard cock through your wet panties, throbbing angrily against your cunt. Fuck, would you even be able to take him all?
âOh yeah?â
And before you can react youâre being pushed against the hard wall. Tojiâs lips dizzying on yours, fiddling with that godforsaken clasp on the back of your tight dress.Â
âShit.â he groans impatiently, wedging a knee between your legs, grinding against your wet pussy. âSuch a delicious meal all fâme but Iâve gotta get through this- fuckin-â rip! â-dressâ
Well, you expected your dress to end up on the floor somewhere, just not like this - tattered and hitting the ground of this back room behind the bar, faster than your jaw. And so do Tojiâs - pupils blown, eyes hooded as he takes in the heavenly view in front of him.Â
Pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck, licking like he couldnât stay away. âShit, doll. You were gonna wear this pretty lilâ number for that loser?â he sounds genuinely confused. Immediately tweaking and rolling your swollen nipples through the sheer fabric. âMâso fucking glad that bastard doesnât know what heâs missing out on.â
âT-Toji- ngh-â you mewl, as he lets your bra fall to the ground. Taking in one tit in his mouth, swirling his hot tongue around your areola. âWan- wanâ more-â
âNow now,â he tuts mockingly, delicate strings of spit connecting him to your breasts. âSârude to be the only one drinking. UnlessâŠâ Toji looks up at you through his thick lashes, âYou wanâ me to drink in that pretty lilâ cunt of yours?â
And shit that sounded like everything you ever wanted right now. All you can let out is a delirious little nod before Tojiâs dropping to his knees. So hard you wonder if it hurts - and maybe itâs the liquor, probably itâs the way heâs drunk off you - but he doesnât give a fuck.Â
âYeah, atta girl.â
Pulling down your panties in one, fluid motion, he tugs them underneath your legs, disappearing between his own, fumbling with his waistband. And if you angled your head just right you could see the slightest glimpse of Toji fisting his cock. Soaking your already-wet panties with his precum.
âAw, look at the way sheâs so wet fâme already.â he coos at your dripping cunt. Absolutely obsessed with the way youâre so drenched for him already. Slick beading through the flimsy fabric at each hot breath, oh Toji has half the mind to just take you right here, right now. But no, he wanted- needed a taste. Doesnât think he could live without it. âWonder if she tastes just as sweet as she looks.â
Whatever retort on the tip of your tongue is cut off by Toji burying himself face-first in your pussy. Licking a long, languid stripe up your swollen folds, pooling your slick on his tongue.Â
But it wasnât enough - it might never be. Because one taste of your pretty cunt and Toji is hooked.Â
With a low groan, heâs spitting a steady stream of spit onto your quivering pussy. Spreading it with his thumb before heâs diving back in nose-deep. Snaking a hand down to draw frenzied little circles on your swollen clit, letting your juices glisten all down his wrist.
âTaste sâfuckinâ good. Fucking sweet.â So hot and maybe you shouldâve gotten an inkling with how sloppy he was with the whiskey - but Toji was so fucking filthy. Your slick glossing his face so prettily, smearing right up to his nose and dribbling down his chin. Lewd little squelches deafening in your ears.Â
âNgh- Sh-shut up-â
âShut up? Canât shut up, doll, mâdrunk on this sweet cunt more than I am on whiskey.â he mutters into your folds. âMy favorite taste. Got me addicted, huh?â
He huffs out a dark laugh into your pussy, taking in that cute lilâ embarrassed expression on your face. Throwing one of your legs over his sculpted shoulder, Toji bullies his soft tongue into your snug cunt, past that delicious little ring of resistance.Â
Making out with your pussy deeper. And his tongue was so long - perfectly hitting your sweet spots, licking all over your plushy walls. Thrusting in time with his thumb drawing on your clit, in and out in and out in and-
âFuck, I could get used to this. Have you for breakfast, lunch, nâ dinner.â
His words were so dirty, but Toji looked so pretty stuffing his face in your cunt. Eyes rolling to the back of his head, dark strands of his hair sticking to his forehead. Tilting his head just so that your sweet sweet juices slide down his throat.Â
Itâs what has you tugging in his hair to angle him just right, using him like your favorite toy. Such cute lilâ whines of his name leaving you each time his tongue grazes that one spot that has you keening and bucking into his mouth for more more more-
âFuck fuck fuck jusâ like that- Ah!â you let out such pretty whines, words slurring together. Delirious little ones that go straight to Tojiâs achingly hard cock, angry and twitching in his fist. So needy and glistening with precum in the dim lighting.
Shit, Toji thinks he could cum at just that, which is why heâs lapping at your cunt even greedier, drinking you in like a madman. Fingers so deftly toying with your pretty clit, making you putty in his hands. He has to make you cum. Now. Or else heâs gonna fuckinâ embarrass himself in front of such a goddess.Â
âOh? So drunk on mâtongue, already, doll?â he chuckles. âCanât speak?â Vibrations sending white-hot jolts of pleasure up your spine. It has you dragging your cunt so sloppily all over Tojiâs face - and he likes it. Loves it even, only speeding up his movements. Even when his jaw is aching, walls sucking him up so desperately that it was almost difficult to eat out your pretty lilâ cunt. Even when your sweet juices are dripping down to the hardwood floor in a sinful little drip! drip! drip!Â
âI- ngh- mâgonna-â
âGonna what? You can handle whiskey, you can handle using your words, doll.â
âCum!â you yelp, âMâgonna cum Toji- ah- feels tâgood.âÂ
And thatâs exactly what he liked to hear because Toji only gets sloppier. Alternating between stretching you out on his tongue, sucking on your clit, licking everywhere. Over and over-
âThen cum fâme, doll.â
And you are - fast and hard. So hard that you donât even realize when youâre rocking your hips all over Tojiâs face. Cunt fluttering around his tongue as if you were trying to suck him up - and he lets you.Â
âFuck. Sweeter than I imagined.â heâs slurring into your cunt. âJusâ like that- yeah, ride out that pretty lilâ cunt on mâface.â Words muffled as he tonguefucks you through your high, stars behind your lids every time he flicks at your pussy.Â
Distantly, you hear such embarrassing little whimpers of his name in time with the sinfully wet groans from below - ones you realize are yours only when youâre blinking back your vision. Heart thundering, pathetically trying to catch your breath.
The first thing you hear is Tojiâs little chuckle, followed closely by a lewd pop! that has you whirling to look at him down below.
âWh-wha-â and all you can let out is a strangled little oh! at the sight before you - Toji licking his fingers clean, sucking all your sweet juices like he couldnât get enough. Even when heâs flashing you a devilish grin around his fingers, rising from his position on the ground to cage you against the wall.
âTold ya mâaddicted, doll.â
Your back hits the soft leather before you even realize whatâs happening. Bouncing at the sheer force of the throw, you gasp in both shock and at the audacity of this man.
âTojiâŠâ you warn as he looms over you on the couch, yet it comes out more breathless than you intended. But looking at him there - straddling your hips, pants pulled just below his heavy balls, tugging and teasing his rock-hard cock like he was trying to fuck something delicious out of it - how could you be blamed, really?
He was so big. Pulsing wildly in his fist and just soaked in precum - all the way from his pretty pink tip to the tufts of black at his base. Not quite wild, not quite tamed. You cunt clenches in- anticipation? Fear of not being able to walk for the next week?
And in the haze of your orgasm it takes you a second to register the flimsy panties wrapped around his hand. Rubbing against those prominent veins on the side as Toji fucks his fist. So wet and ruined that you almost didnât recognize it.Â
âJusâ think of it as repayment.â he grins, following your line of sight.Â
You scoff, eyes still traitorously stuck on his throbbing cock. So massive and mouth-watering that it makes you wish he used you instead of those panties. âThose were expensive yâknow.â
âIâll buy you new ones. Four. In the color of my eyes.â
âHow aboutâŠâ you flash him a sultry smirk, urging his hips to shift higher. And by the amused quirk of his brow, you knew Toji liked where this was going. âI can repay you another way.â
And before you knew it, his pants are thrown to God-knows-where, and you had two, muscled thighs straddling your face. Toji slaps his swollen cock on your face once. Twice. âThink that loser was this big?â Thumbing your mouth open as he grazes his weeping tip across your lips, glossing them so prettily. Precum salty on your tongue, all filthy and dripping down to your chin.Â
âOpen wide- Fuck. Thaâs it-â he hisses, brows furrowing as he stuffs his fat head into your hot mouth. Eyes rolling to the back of his head at the way your lips bulge around him, flicking at the sensitive tip. And it was so delicious, Toji couldnât decide whether he liked eating you out or this more.Â
âShit, doll.â he grunts, hips fucking into your plushy tongue in shallow, quick little thrusts. âTaking me so well, huh?â
You didnât know if you were - lips stretching obscenely around his thick cock, tears clinging to your lashes. Choking and gagging around his length in a way that made Toji twitch inside you. Shit, he liked this - liked seeing you like this. And as soon as the realization hits you, youâre moaning around his cock, making Tojiâs hips stutter above you.Â
Toji has to fight off that part of himself that just wants to paint your mouth a sinful white. Fuck his cum into your till itâs all you can taste - all you can feel.Â
âShit. You little minx. Ah- sâheavenly around me ngh-â pressing your head down till all the way till your nose is flush against his pelvis, balls twitching against your chin. Finally bottoming out and fucking your mouth in harsh, long strokes. âFuck- Wonder if that pretty lilâ cunt of yours is gonna take me t-this well, huh?â
Oh does he love your smart mouth - but he loves it even more when all he gets in response is wet gurgle around his cock. Looking up at him so tearily and shit he could get used to this sight. âMâgonna take that as a yes.â
And then heâs speeding up, balls squeezing so painfully. God itâs so fucking hard to look at you too - precum and spit bubbling sloppily at the corners of your mouth, makeup so messy and fucking gorgeous to him.Â
âCan feel mâself riiight-â Reaching out a hand to wrap around your throat, feeling his dick bulging in and out in and- âhere.â
Moving faster so he can ruin your pretty face. Itâs so sloppy the way your spit glistens down his length, using your swollen mouth as he pleases. And youâre so eager to make him lose his mind too that it has been fucking into you like a toy.
âYa like this? Like me using your pretty lilâ mouth like oh- itâs a fucktoy? Oh fuck, doll.â he groans, running his mouth like heâs drunk off yours wrapped around him. âGonna paint that pretty mouth of yours white if yâdonât stop now.âÂ
And shit if he knew those words would have you eagerly bobbing your head to meet his hips a little slut then heâd have said them a lot sooner. Trying to get just a taste of him. Mascara runny now, swirling your tongue around his leaking tip every time he hits the back of your throat, so hard that itâs probably sore and bruised. Toji almost feels bad.Â
âŠ
Nahhh
Pulling your mouth off him, muttering low and dangerous. âTold ya to stop now, didnât I?â
And oh he hates to cut off that cute lilâ whine spilling from your kiss-bitten lips, but shit Tojiâs losing his patience and his sanity with each passing second that he isnât stuffing his cock in your pretty cunt.Â
Toji backs up, swiping a thumb under your lip, sucking off the remnants of his precum before capturing your lips in a searing, searing kiss. Tasting you and himself and you-Â
âLiked the Macallan, huh?â Reaching blindly for the bottle of whiskey, taking a deep swing. Spitting it back into your mouth because shit you looked so pretty swallowing it all up. Rutting his hips into yours, sliding his throbbing erection in between your swollen folds. Collecting your sweet juices on his head, drinking in your adorable gasps.
âT-Toji.â you whimper, hips bucking up wildly. âJust fuck me already, goddamnit.â
And then he is - pressing his fat tip into your sloppy hole. Inch by fucking inch. Not even thinking of easing into it because fuck he needs it. He needs it-
â-sâbad. Ah-â Toji drawls against your lips. âWanâed this ever since yâwalked in through that damn door.â A mess of spit and alcohol and precum - it made you feel so dirty, dirtier than the pressure between your legs as he bullies his heavy cock into your snug pussy. And all you can do is fucking take it because Toji was so unrelenting.
Thrusting in shallow, mindless little thrusts to just fit himself inside you - and you already feel like youâre being stretched to your limits. Whimpering out a tearily little, âAre you at least ngh- halfway in yet? Oh-â
If Toji was any lesser man heâd just have split you apart on his cock right now, but no. Instead settling for a smug little, âNopeâ, popping the p.
But that doesnât stop him from wrapping two arms around your waist, sitting up on the couch with you splayed out so prettily on his cock. Pulling you, squeezing his dick into your soft cunt, sliding down, down, down.
âAh! Ah- shit shit shit sâtoo deep, ngh-â
âNo such thing as âtoo deepâ, doll.â he clenches his jaw. Hands pushing your thighs apart even further as youâre split apart on his cock. âYou jusâ hafta sit there all pretty nâ take- it-â Each word is punctuated by a harsh thrust.Â
And Tojiâs manhandling you around while bouncing you on his dick. Drawing unhurried little circles on your clit while trying to find that one spot he knows youâd love more than any whiskey or drink. Looping a strong arm to arch you into his body and-
âFuck!â you keen, hips grinding sloppily to milk his cock as much as you could. Walls clenching so sinfully and shit-
âFound it.â
And then it was like something snapped - because all of a sudden Tojiâs no more playful teasing and letting you have your little fun. No, heâs fucking you like a man possessed - thrusting his cock up into you. All the way from his weeping tip, till his balls smack your ass. So hard heâs sure they leave such a shameful mark for tomorrow. Hitting that spot over and over-
âArenât ya glad you chose to ah- s-stay with me?â he hisses, throwing his head back. One hand rocking your hips deeper the other becoming faster and faster on your poor, ravaged clit. Driving you crazy. âFuck that date ditcher, yâlook all pretty like this for me.â
âYes yes yes- sâglad.â you manage to sob out. Voice shaky and hitching at the way he was bouncing you on his cock with reckless abandon. The lewd squelches and skin-on-skin filling the heady room, making your head spin so much that you barely hear Tojiâs words.Â
âIâd make a much better date. Hngh-â he lets out a guttural groan as your nails rake his back. Fingers on your clit becoming more and more frantic. âWould buy ya flowers nâ a-all that shit. Show up on time, all dressed up.â Drinking in your lewd little ah! ah! ah! every time he milks himself on your sloppy pussy. But oh maybe Toji was a talker when he was drunk because he wasnât done yet.Â
âMake all those other scrubs fuck- jealous. And then-â Hips stuttering and so so sloppy. âHah- at night- mâgonna fuck you dumb just like this.â he gasps, sounding like he was at the end of his sanity. Losing it bit by bit every time his veins rub so deliciously against all the right spots that make you see stars.Â
Losing his sanity especially when you whine out such a cute lilâ noise of agreement. âFuck mâclose. Wanted this too, huh? I saw the way youâd been eyeing me all night.â
You canât even be embarrassed about being caught red-handed, only looking up at his pretty face with delirious heart-eyes. Too cockdrunk and delirious at this point. And, well, maybe itâs the alcohol in your veins because youâre grabbing at the shiny bottle on the seat, bringing it to your lips. The bitter taste barely hitting your lips before youâre meeting his. Making out as sloppily as he was ravaging you below - all teeth and whiskey and pure filth.Â
And that answers his question.Â
Messy and desperate.Â
So it only makes sense that your orgasm was the same - clamping down so sinfully on his aching cock. And shit itâs so heavenly that it sends him over the edge as well.Â
Toji cums, and keeps cumming so hard that he can see the way his seed was gushing out of your poor, overfilled pussy. Especially not when his thrusts get sloppy, thick cum spilling all over your pretty cunt. Purposely not pulling out like the mean bastard he is to paint your walls a sinful white
Over and over, forming a wet little patch on the couch that he knows heâll have to worry about later. But right now he doesnât give a fuck because your bloated and so prettily all covered in his seed.Â
Leisurely, he pools the cum trickling out of your cunt on his fingertips, not even wasting a second before stuffing them in your mouth, pushing through your swollen lips. And you donât complain - not at all. In fact, youâre sucking it all up eagerly. Looking Toji straight in the eyes while you swallow it all.Â
âHmm, not as good as the whiskey.â you tease. Letting yourself be yanked into his body, as he grins against your lips.
âFor that, mâkeeping the panties.âÂ
---Â
âTojiâŠâ a low voice rings through the closed bar. Shiu sounding like heâs absolutely at his witâs end as he continues, âWhere the fuck is our 1926 Macallan?â
The man in question was staring suspiciously giddily at his phone - either having not heard what Shiu said, or he just couldnât give a fuck anyway. And knowing Toji, it was probably the latter.Â
A warning. âToji Iâm serious, that shit costs over a million dollars.â
âYeah yeah, congratulations or my condolences but hey, do you know any great flower shops?â
A/N. I donât even like whiskey so much, itâs just the thought of bartender! Toji that has me feral.
Plagiarism not authorized.
#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jjk x you#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x you#toji fushiguro x reader#toji fushiguro smut#toji fushiguro x you#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x you#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fic#toji#toji fushiguro#tonywrites#gojo x reader#gojo smut
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summary: you and paige make a bet to see who can go the longest without initiating sex. much to both of your displeasure, neither one of you are willing to go down without a fight themes/warnings: smut with very little plot, fingering (r receiving), oral (p receiving), strap-on use, exhibitionism if your squint (not really though just adding it to be safe), sexting, breeding kink (sort of) word count: 5.6k note: yes i wrote and proofread this in less than 24 hours. no, the timeline of this story does not make much sense with actual UCONN schedules. please suspend ur disbelief there, this is basically just filth xoxoxo enjoy
It all started on a Friday night in Paigeâs apartment. The two of you laid on top of her comforter browsing places for a potential upcoming weekend trip. Dating one of the most prominent players in womenâs college basketball was not for the weak, with the two of you often having to piece your busy schedules together like a puzzle to find enough time for a simple dinner or even time to coexist together. But occasionally, the universe (or Geno) granted you a gift in the form of time off for Paige. This meant you were able to disappear off to a romantic getaway with your girl for a bit. If you two could pick a place, that is.
âWe could go to Miami?â You suggested, reading off a list on your phone. Paige leaned in to look, lightly tapping the side of your head with hers. Her arm rested around your shoulders, her hand drawing circles on your arm every once in a while. Her limb had fallen asleep about 10 minutes prior, but she would never tell you that.
âDonât we wanna go somewhere a little more romantic?â Paige questioned, a point you failed to consider. âPlus you know Iâm gonna get sunburnt on the first day.â
âBut youâre so cute when youâre sunburnt.â You giggled in response, remembering the various vacation photos youâve received over the years with Paigeâs skin in ranging shades of red. Apparently, she didnât seem to think so, as she looked at you pointedly with an eyebrow raised. You huffed, âFine, what are your ideas.â
As Paige moves to unlock her phone, the two of you are interrupted by a sharp soundcoming from outside of her room. Paigeâs face shifted to confusion at the same time as yours, the two of you sitting up on the bed as if that would help you detect the sound faster. Just as you were about to ask if Allie or Jana had decided to rearrange the furniture, you heard a clearer sound: high pitched moans, followed by a series of bang, bang, bang. You watched your girlfriend realize at the same time that these sounds were most certainly coming from the apartment above hers, sending you both into a fit of roaring laughter.
âOh my God.â Paige chokes, throwing her head back and grabbing your arm to stabilize herself.
âI really hope weâre not that loud.â You cracked a joke, not expecting anything of it. That is until Paige looks at you in a way that screams âyou canât be seriousâ and you can feel your heart drop. âPaige, why are you looking at me like that?â
Paige bit her lip, nodding a few times for courage before saying, âJana said sheâs definitely heard us a few times.â
You groan loudly, flopping on the bed once more. âKill me,â you plead, voice muffled by the pillows.
âI like the noises you make.â Your girlfriend comforts you between her laughs, rubbing your back. You stand, feeling as though pacing in her room will help work off some of the complete and utter embarrassment you were feeling right now. Sure, you knew you and Paige werenât exactly the quietest. But receiving confirmation that others had heard you in your most vulnerable state was humbling to say the least.
âItâs not my fault Iâm dating the horniest girl on the planet,â you quipped in an effort to make yourself feel better. You watch as your girlfriends jaw drops, her head cocking to the side.
âWoah,â she all but yells, her head shaking. âIâm the horny one?â
Her expression is so comical, with her eyes practically bulging out of her head, you canât hep but crack a smile as you defend your position. âYou initiate constantly.â
âYou initiate just as much as I do! Plus all those photos you send me on away games.â
You blush, remembering all the nights alone where the bed seems just a little too cold without your tall blonde girlfriend by your side. Nights where you open the drawer of various lingerie you and/or Paige had picked out throughout the years. It was a winning move all around: you got to feel sexy with every snap you sent to Paige, both of you got off to it, and it usually meant that your sex after she returned was even better. âYeah, because I know you like them.â
âThereâs no way Iâm hornier than you, bro.â She throws her hands up. To be fair, as you watch her sit on her bed legs spread apart, donning a grey Nike hoodie and black sweats, you think she may have a point. This doesnât stop an idea from popping in your head.
You sauntered over to her, legs straddling one of hers as she looked at you curiously. You sat yourself down, hands reaching under the hoodie and lightly tracing at bare skin. âOkay, prove it.â
âHuh?â She asked, her voice gravelly. I got the advantage already, you think to yourself mischievously.
âFirst person to initiate sex loses.â You propose, expecting an absolutely not from her. To your surprise, she seems even more intrigued.
âOk, what does the winner get?â
You think for a moment. âBragging rights,â you decide, adding. âand the choice of movie on movie night for the next month.â Though you both cherish your movie nights when youâre able to sneak them into the week, trying to agree on a movie is a battle.
âDeal,â Paige sticks her hand out, acting like some sort of businessman. You play along, accepting her firm grip, which she used to pull you in closer, her gaze still roaming your body. âand Y/N?â
âYeah?â
Her head moved closer and closer. You could feel her breath on your skin, sending goosebumps up your arm. She peppered a few light kisses on the back of your ear before whispering, âI think we both know whoâs going to win this, baby.â
Two days after the bet
This may be the worst idea youâve ever had.
In the hours after you first proposed this little competition, the rules as to what counted as initiating became more explicit. Kissing, grinding, and the like were all okay as long as third base was not crossed. Should be easy enough, you thought, recognizing that you could do a majority of your favorite acts of intimacy without forfeiting.
What you failed to consider is just how much more appealing sex was when you knew you couldnât have it. Little things from seeing a sliver of Paigeâs toned torso as her shirt rode up reaching for the top shelf to how her hair got wavy after she had taken a post-practice shower got a reaction out of you these days . You were going insane, and yet your girlfriend appeared to be cool and collected. You truly should have expected this. There was no universe where Paige Bueckers wouldnât be competitive, even over some dumb shit like this.
So when you woke up in her bed, approximately 30 minutes before her alarm to get ready for the bus taking her to a game in New York, you planned to change that. Gently loosening the grip she had around you, you reach you head up to pepper kisses on her cheeks, watching her stir before blinking her eyes open. Once they are able to somewhat focus on you, she offers a tired smile. âMmmm, good morning to you too.â
Her hand cups your face, connecting you in a sweet kiss. You got her exactly where you want her. You let yourself melt into the kiss for just a moment before swinging a leg around to straddle her. Though the blonde was never much of a morning person, she suddenly seemed a lot more awake. Reaching for the bottom of Paigeâs crewneck that you borrowed (stole), you pulled it over your head before throwing it to the ground with the rest of Paigeâs clothes. This action sent Paigeâs line of vision straight to your breasts, which you kneaded in your hands as you lightly ground down on her pajama covered crotch.
âShit, Y/N,â She was seemingly mesmerized, unable to resist and you lean down and capture her lips once more, both of you a lot needier than before. Her tongue slips in, and it takes everything in you to pull away long enough to nibble at her ear.
âWe got time before you have to make your bus.â
Her hands reach around to feel your waist, before coming back around to cup your tits. âOh really?â
You nod, humming as you feel your victory is imminent. âYou gonna give in, Bueckers?â
âOh hell no,â her eyes widen, her movement in her hands stopping abruptly before removing contact entirely, a move you were less than pleased by. Still on top of her, you raise your eyebrows, an action which she returns. âWhat, you seriously thought I was gonna lose from that?â
Damn, she really didnât have to be that harsh. âOuch.â
Her laughter comes to a halt, her expression softening as she brushes your hair out of your face. âYou were so sexy, you always are.â She gushes. âBut I told you; if anyone here is losing this challenge, itâs you.â
You whip your leg back around, moving to a standing position and grabbing the discarded crewneck before throwing it back on. âWhatever,â you sulk.
âItâs a shame, too.â Paige follows your lead, moving to a standing position and grabbing your waist, making it abundantly clear just how much taller she is. She puts a finger under your chin, lifting so youâre forced to make eye contact. âI was getting real excited about being inside you.â
You have to physically hold yourself back from shivering at the comment, not wanting to show Paige just how much pressure was between your legs. âGo pack,â you crack a small smile, gesturing to her almost empty duffle.
Six days after the bet
Paige was off at an away game, this time much farther than just a state away. This required her to spend two nights away from Storrs, making the challenge just a little bit easier. Sure, you missed your girlfriend. But considering the circumstances it was nice to not have such a close reminder of how much you wanted to jump her bones.
You kept yourself busy the days she was gone with classes, extracurriculars, and time spent with friends at the student union. By the time you got back to your apartment the second night she was gone, you were completely wiped out, midterm week beginning to take a toll on you. Upon checking your notifications waiting for you while your phone was on do not disturb, you spot a snapchat notification from Paige. Sitting on your bed, you open it.
Sheâs sat in what appears to be her hotel room, snapback hat covering the top of her head. Her tongue is all the way out, paired with the caption âMiss you my sweet girl. Canât wait for munch madness.â
While on any other day you would only be hyper focused on the pure absurdity of the photo, her tongue and the implications in the message had a downright embarrassing effect on you. Preparing to send back a more normal photo, your eyes make contact with the top drawer of your dresser, reserved for very specific articles of clothing. Two could play at that game.
Your red set had always been her favorite. You bought it at a smaller boutique towards the beginning of your relationship. Paige went so feral over how it hugged and accentuated every curve of yours the first night you wore it. You brought this set out on rare occasions, but figured this was enough of a reason to dust it off.
You knew exactly what angles she liked, showing off your body while disguising your face just enough to feel comfortable sending it. So when Paige sent back a chat which read "Youâre gonna be the death of me,â you relished in the small victory you reached over her.
What are you thinking about? You send back, which Paige reads immediately.
How good youâd look sucking my cock in that, pretty girl.
The message nearly makes you choke on your own spit. It wasnât every day that Paige brought out the strap. Many days, the two of you preferred intimacy just before bed, with Paige trailing her fingers under your pajama pants and you eating her out under the covers. But in some occasions, whether it be moments after a win or other times Paige was feeling particularly cocky, best believe she was ready to have you bent over seven different ways.
Want it so bad. You almost cringe at just how desperate you sound, but who could blame you?
Paigeâs bitmoji popped up and down a few times, pondering before sending; Going to bed soon. See you tomorrow ;)
Youâve got to be fucking kidding me, you groan as your head hits your pillow. If you couldnât have the real thing right now, you would at least settle for Paige talking (texting?) you through an orgasm. More frustrated than when you started, you reach a hand into your lace underwear, seemingly gone to waste.
And when Paige returns the next day and is able to stray from touching you outside of a quick makeout session, you wonder whether or not this bet was even worth it - you would be perfectly fine sitting through Disney movies for the next month if it meant your girlfriend could at least fuck you afterwards. But more than anything, you were still playing for your pride. After all, you knew this was the kind of shit that Paige would never let you forget.
Two weeks after the bet
After your failed seduction via Snapchat, you ruled it wasnât worth it to try to get Paige to fold, and that your energy was much better used in not getting yourself to give in. Thankfully, your girlfriend had been booked and busy with two more games, one of which was a home game you attended. When it got to the point where Paigeâs arguments with the refs were beginning to turn you on instead of simply make you laugh, you knew you were in deep, deep shit.
There were very, very few times you were forced to resort to masturbation typically, Not that there was any shame in it, its just that you always had Paige to help you out. Even if her schedule forced you to wait a few extra hours or even a day to get your release, it was a negotiation you were willing to take. Even though you knew your own body and what you liked, Paige seemed to have your body memorized, knowing just how much pressure to put on your clit and the precise second to speed up. Masturbation was essentially reserved for when Paige was physically not in the same state, and even then she helped where she could (as was to your detriment last week).
However with Paige gone at a practice on a Friday night and your friends all refusing to go out in the pouring rain, you were left alone in your one bedroom apartment and bored. That combined with the arousal that had been pooling inside you for weeks now was a lethal combination.
You tried to starve it off, you really did. You left the door unlocked for Paige later, just in case practice got off on time (it nearly never did) and she had time to swing by your place. A little part of you hoped she would break tonight, give you exactly what you needed. But at this point, the chances of that happening were sounding less and less likely, even to the most delusional section of your mind.
So you spent your night eating leftovers and binge watching your current Netflix fixation, trying to ignore how you would much rather be spending your night. Your legs rub together in your bed, soft and smooth from your nighttime shower routine. Pressing your thighs together, you sigh, unable to resist. Fuck it.
After shutting your laptop and placing it on your bedside table, you remove your pajama pants, tossing them to the floor. You could feel yourself dripping even from outside your underwear, breaking any last reservations you had on indulging in self pleasure. Reaching in, you put pressure on your clit, immediately melting into the touch.
Unknown to you, practice for UConn didnât get out on time this night - it got out early, an uncharacteristic move for Geno who felt that the players would be better off resting their bodies before their upcoming games after a long week of practice than another hour of running the same drills. Though normally Paige would use this extra time to go to Tedâs with the rest of the team, she was more than happy to return home to you - even if this stupid bet was still going on.
The truth is, Paige had been just as wound up all week. If the two of you werenât equally as competitive, she likely would have forfeited in the first three days. Honestly, its not like she would necessarily disagree that she was the hornier one out of the two of you - I mean, anyone who saw you would be. It was the definitiveness in your voice that got to her. She always loved proving people wrong.
She knew your door was unlocked, but gave it a light tap just to notify you of her presence. Normally this would prompt a âcome inâ or âitâs openâ, but this time she was met with nothing except for the muffled sounds of your neighbors pregaming. Curious, she opened the door, walking into your living room with a call, âbabe?â
Though you heard her, your brain was slow to process, too focused on the sweet relief you were getting. As you heard footsteps pad towards your room, you finally developed enough sense to slow your breathing, about to will yourself to remove your hand when the door swung open, all six feet of your sweaty, rain soaked girlfriend standing in the arch.
For a beat, the two of you looked at each other like deer in headlights, your hand still in your panties and her jaw on the floor She noticed the same moment you did, her eyes trailing as you quickly removed the digits.
Paige slowly set her backpack on the floor, blue eyes still never leaving you. Her gaze was filled with something you couldnât quite detect - was it anger? She made a slow stride over to you, her hands shoved in her pockets, and you realize just how dilated her pupils had become. Nope, definitely not anger. More like pure arousal, mixed with admiration.
âKeep going,â Her voice is low, accent thick. You want to question it, but she adds on a,âPlease.â
Shocked yet intrigued, you slowly trail your hand back down, tracing your nipple and lightly kneading the soft tissue of your breast. Paige licked her lips, watching the show you were putting on intently. Her pupils dilated as you finally make your way to your cotton panties, hooking your fingers under the sides and pulling them down just enough to give yourself more mobility and add more visual appeal for Paige. Paige hardly had time to be embarrassed by how much of an effect your wet pussy had on her after a two week drought, not when you immediately sunk a finger in while maintaining your hungry stare on her.
There was a beat of silence, the only sound in the room being the faint suction of your core gratefully accepting the relief from your middle finger. You donât know whether it was the fact that you hadnât cum with your girlfriend in weeks, or the fact that she was staring at you hungrily, but you couldnât hold back the moan that raged through you, ending in a sharp whine. Paige inhaled, her eyes shutting as if she couldnât bare to look. Exhale. Then, the silence was broken.
âFuck it.â
You hardly had time to blink before she was on you, a hand reaching down and borderline yanking your hand away from your clit, replacing it with hers. The other hand reached for your face, connecting your lips as her fingers began making messy circles.
You melted into the kiss, thankful for the way it muffled your moans as Paige slipped a finger in, still paying good attention to your puffy clit. Your legs began to tighten, and you could almost cry because of how overwhelming it all was. You never thought just fourteen days without sex would do such a number on you, as you and Paige has certainly gone longer, but the fact that it was forbidden combined with the knowledge that you got her to snap like she did caused a rush of warmth to your core.
âYou feel so good.â Paigeâs voice comes out muffled by your lips, her breath labored. You love when she does this, riling herself up just by getting you off. âMissed this pussy so much.â
âPaige, please,â you donât quite know what you are begging for, but the pure desperation in Paigeâs voice has done a number on you. After over a week of feeling like the needy one, the way Paige is fucking you now is nothing short of satisfying and you need more. âNeed you so bad.â
âI know, I know.â She whines, her face hiding in the crook of your neck. She was convinced if she took one look at you while you were asking (no, begging) her for more, she wouldnât be able to hold back from cumming in her pants. Between sloppy kisses to soft skin, she babbles, âIâm gonna make you feel good, I promise. Gonna make you cum.â
That was Paige in a nutshell. No matter how tired she was, or how much the ache between her legs begged for her attention, she put your orgasm before hers always. She paid attention to the way your breath quickened, your legs becoming impossibly stiff, and she whispered, âYou close?â
All you could do was nod, so focused on your release that forming coherent sentences was not in the cards for you at the moment. âGo ahead, wanna feel it.â
Your release rushed through you, warm and all encompassing, and it took all your strength to remain somewhat quiet as you exhaled through it, your moans coming out more as whines if anything. As your breath steadied, Paigeâs mouth returned to yours, this time more sweet as she brought you back down.
In your post-orgasm glow, you widen your eyes just enough to look at your girlfriend, the front tendrils of her hair damp from both sweat and the storm outside. A blush floods her face as she grins at you, prompting you to pull her down for a kiss.
âWanna use my mouth on you, that okay?â
Paige nods, her eyes wide and breath labored from the performance she just gave to you. The two of you switch positions, her laying down on your pillows while you crawled over her, moving down her body. Though you wanted nothing more that for her to just sit back and relax as you showed her just how grateful you were for her, she did aid you in removing her drenched hoodie, the two of you laughing as it momentarily got stuck on her head (in any other circumstance you would scold her for laying in your bed with wet clothes, but you really couldnât bring yourself to care at the moment).
You kiss down her torso, watching her toned core flex in reaction as she inhales sharply. Her hands reach down to your shoulders, and you know exactly what she wants - she would just never outright ask. Looking up, eyes wide, you smile sweetly. âGrab my hair, baby.â
She sighs, fingers interwoven in your hair as you make work on her pants, pulling them down along with the boxers you love so much. You press gentle kisses to her inner thighs, ignoring the area begging for your attention until Paige huffs, âplease, waited long enough. Want you so bad. Need you so bad.â
You bite back a grin, loving just how vocal your girlfriend gets. Giving in, you press a gentle lick to your girlfriends core, feeling her thighs tense in reaction, before giving her all of you and finding her waiting clit.
âThere you go, good girl. Oh fuck,â She melts into your bed, eyes rolling into the back of her head as sheâs overwhelmed by the sensation. Unlike you, who at least got the opportunity to indulge in self-pleasure, she never had the time, either spending her nights with you, in a hotel room with her teammates, or too tired after a long day of practice. Wanting to make the most of your handiwork, she moved one hand to the side of your face. âLook at meâ
Still sucking at her clit, you lift your head slightly, and she cries out as she sees just how drunk off of her you look, doe eyes watering as you lap her up. Itâs all just too much for the blonde as she struggles to maintain her breathing, feeling familiar sensations way quicker than she normally should.
âIâm close⊠Iâm gonna cum⊠fuck.â The words tumbled out of Paigeâs mouth in quick succession, as if she severely underestimated just how quick she was to tipping over the edge. With a groan, her grip on the back of your head tightened as she met her release, your tongue lapping it up like it was your last meal.
You wait until she rides out her orgasm before crawling back up, her hands meeting your waist to help. You collapse next to her, head raising just in time to meet her waiting lips.
âLove the way you taste,â you hum in satisfaction, prompting a smile from your girlfriend. You lived for the come down after sex, where it felt like it was just you and Paige alone on this earth, nothing and nobody else to worry about. She rubbed at your back, and you get so wrapped up in the domesticity of it all you almost miss the next words out of her mouth.
âYou got one more in you, baby?â
âWhat?â You croak, looking at her as if you must have misheard. You thought the two of you were on the same page, having cum so hard you couldnât imagine having space for anything more than passing out next to her.
That is until Paige finds enough energy and strength in her legs to stand, backing up towards your dresser while still facing you with a smirk on her face. âYou didnât think I was joking when I was telling you how bad I want you to suck me off, did you?â
Fuck. Though you were tired before (and still are), you canât deny the way warmth floods south, already wound up again after hearing the sounds Paige made as she released. You nod, and Paige opens the top drawer.
In this moment especially, youâre grateful for Paigeâs idea to get two straps, one for each of your apartments. âMore convenient that way,â she had said with a wink. Paige adjusted the harness to herself, her movements only faltering for a moment when she noticed you drop to your knees, Calvin Klein bralette still on.
âYou know what to do if you need me to stop, right sweet girl?â Her thumb traces your cheek sweetly. You nodded, having done this just enough times to establish a gesture (three taps on Paigeâs inner thigh) to indicate you needed a rest. Youâve never had to use it - Paige just absolutely refused to put herself in a position where she could hurt her sweet girl without safety measures.
You inch closer, offering gentle kitten licks to the tip of the dildo before opening your mouth to let it rest on your tongue. Paige, gentle yet firm, pushes you down a little further, and you inhale through your nose praying that you donât gag so early on. Your thumb is caught in a fist on your non dominant hand, the other one wrapping around the remainder of the strap as you bob up and down.
âFuck, thats it.â Paige groans as the back of your throat betrays you, resulting in a choking sound and a pool of saliva on the toy. When your eyes meet hers, watery yet determined, she sighs. âYou look so beautiful like this.â
You remove your lips with a pop, gaze never wavering. âNeed to be inside you, please.â
Paige, never one to deny your request, aided you in a standing position, hands at your waist as she backed you towards your bed, until the two of you were forced to crawl on top. Biting her bottom lip, she circles your core a few times before allowing herself to sink in, and both of you gasp at the intrusion as if the dick was truly a part of her.
âSo big⊠youâre so big.â You whimpered as she began plowing into you, lifting one of your legs to where your knee was nearly to your chest. The sounds your pussy made as it gripped Paigeâs cock were sinful, prompting a smirk from the girl above you.
âSo scared of people hearing huh? Whyâs this pussy screaming for me then?â Paige taunted, watching the purple dildo slip in and out. The room filled with slapping of skin and Paigeâs cock genuinely swimming inside you - you canât remember the last time you felt (or sounded) like this.
âSuch a fucking tease all week, winding me up so bad.â Paige continued, her voice gravelly as she watched your tits bounce up and down with each thrust. Licking her lips, she added, âJust needed a good fuck, didnât you?â
Your eyes were screwed shut, focusing on the feeling of the strap stretching you out. She was consuming all of you, from your pussy to your mind, and you forgot to respond until her hand grabbed your waist, not hard enough to hurt, but just enough pressure to snap your attention back towards her. âWords, sweet girl. I know you know how to use them.â
âPaige, please. Wanna feel you in me,â Your words come out as broken sobs as she stilled herself, reaching down to play with your overstimulated clit just to feel something. You feel Paige offer a shallow thrust, but it isnât good enough, you want more. Observing the way her brows furrowed in a last attempt to maintain control, you pout. âWanna feel you cum inside me.â
You didnât fully understand the grip those six words would have on her, not until in what felt like one movement she flipped you around, your knees planted on the bed and back arched as she entered you once more, both of you moaning at the contact as she drove into you like it was her mission. All of your senses were overwhelmed; your ears filled with the sound of your ass pushing back against the strap only to bounce back, mixed with Paigeâs stuttering breath. Your head pressed close to the pillow, giving easy access to smell your freshly washed sheets. Turning your head to the side to breath, you could see your full length mirror capture the point where you and Paige met, the sight bringing you to the edge.
Youâre sure two weeks ago you would have been utterly humiliated at the cry that leaves your mouth as your orgasm washes over you, but when mixed with Paigeâs groans of âfuckâ, you couldnât give less of a shit if your neighbors heard. By now, they definitely knew Paigeâs name.
Paige collapsed on you, strap still inside your spent core until she musters enough strength to roll over to her side. The two of you took a moment to catch your breath, unsure of the last time you had gone that hard. Finally, still covering the top of her face with her arms, Paige breaks into a chuckle, which I catch.
âHoly shit.â
âDonât say it.â She says, her voice deadpan. I take one look at her flushed cheeks, hair a messy collection of blonde tresses, and consider sparing her from my gloating. But after two long weeks, I feel passing up on the opportunity would be a waste.
âyou lost theâŠâ
âI know.â Paige groans, though her smile reveals sheâs not being serious. âYou try hearing your pretty little moans and not fucking you. Itâs physically impossible.â
You laugh, moving to cuddle next to her as she haphazardly disposes of the strap, tossing it along with the various articles of clothing (you made a mental note to wash it later). âIf itâs any consolation, I donât think any of my actions the past week have proven Iâm any less horny than you.â
Paige shrugged, arms wrapping around you and pulling your head into her chest, her lashes fluttering in a failing attempt to stay awake. âItâs why we work so well together, I guess.â
The two of you lay there, your breath matching hers, ready to put this stupid bet to rest along with yourselves. Reaching for the remote for your fairy lights to turn them off, you turn to her. âJust so you know, weâre watching a horror movie on Friday.â
âWorth it.â
#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x reader#uconn womenâs basketball#paige bueckers fic
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graphic | mark lee
pairing: mark lee x afab reader
word count: 6.6K
summary: stuck in the monotony of your job at the mall, every day feels the same: opening the store, sitting behind the register, and counting the hours til close. you've even memorized the routines of the stores around you. but when a new guy starts at the comic book store across the way, you realize your predictable days may soon change.
warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, comic book store employee!mark, retail employee!reader, really cute and fluffy until it's not, public sex (public space but no one is there), unprotected piv (DONT DO THIS), mark throws u around like a lil play thing, oral (fem recieving), fingering, use of a petname (baby), lmk if i forgot anything!
author's note: this one took forever yall i know its been a while! been going thru some shit irl but things are settling and i was deadset on finishing this bc it's so cute :'-) thank u to T and @hausofmingi for being my beta readers ( Ë ÂłË)âĄ
working at a mall can be really tiring, but itâs not so bad when you have a crush.
youâve been working at a retail store at your local mall for a few months now. itâs boring, thereâs too many people on the weekends, and you have the worst hours. you found yourself working open to close for far too many shifts. but at the end of the day, at least it keeps the bills paid.
on slow days during the week, youâre always sat at the register, scrolling through your phone or twiddling your thumbs, counting down the seconds til closing time. sometimes you would even stare off into space, watching people pass by all day long.
you went to work always knowing exactly how the day would go; set up shop, maybe help some customers, and do fucking nothing for 8 to 10 hours. maybe a wave to the employees at the stores surrounding you, but sadly, that was usually the most interesting part of your day. you became accustomed to the monotony though, watching the same employees open up their shops next to yours.
the store directly across from yours is a comic book store. you know the few people that worked there, usually just saying âgood morningâ and going on with your day. you swear, you have this store memorized, knowing when the employees take their breaks, whoâs working, what theyâre working on that day. you didnât really mean to, but when all you have to do is daydream, you kinda picked up on the routine there.
so when you arrive in the morning for yet another brutal open-to-close shift, you expect to just roll up the security shutters and sit back at the register all day. but thereâs something different today; or rather, someone different.
sitting at the register at the comic book store is a man youâve never seen before. his hair is perfectly messy and his glasses framed his eyes, which are focused on reading a comic. heâs working all by himself, which is surprising to you since youâre certain heâs new. you catch yourself staring and try to brush it off. heâs a new guy, so what?
you try your best to go about your day as normal, but you canât help stealing glances over at the man at the store across from you. he has a captivating energy, and it makes you want to know more about him. he seems charismatic, being friendly with customers and earning smiles, then resuming his doodling once they leave. you notice that when he looks really focused, he bites the corner of his lip gently.
you gotta stop staring, or he will definitely notice. you decide to actually work on something for once, organizing the stock and straightening the shelves. soon enough, closing time creeps up on you. you do all of your closing duties and grab your things from the back. you close the security shutters, looking behind you quickly to see that the man is doing the same. he notices your gaze, so you kindly wave at him. instead of a wave back, blush forms on his face with a shy smile. and with that, he walks away.
the interaction was unreadable. he seemed to be so extroverted with customers, having no issue having casual conversations with them. why is he getting all shy now?
you started to pick up on the new routine at the comic book store. from what you could tell, the man worked similar hours to you, often opening and closing too. he rarely worked with anyone else, so the majority of the time you glanced over, he was reading comics, manga, or doodling in his notepad.
you never really got into comic books like that, and only dabbled with reading manga, but the growing interest in this man made you curious about learning more on what he was reading. maybe it wouldnât hurt to check out the selection? perhaps get some recommendations? you just finished a short shift today so now was the perfect opportunity.
after grabbing your things and saying goodbye to your coworker, you make your way over to the comic book store. you approach the man, whoâs sitting at the register as usual, reading. you see his name tag on his chest; a cute red pin with a spider-man drawing next to his name, âmark.â
âhi,â you say, pulling his attention away from reading.
âoh, hi,â he says, placing his comic down. âsorry, i didnât see you come in.â
âitâs okay,â you reply, looking around at the goodies at the register. âi was wondering if you have any recommendations for a beginner at reading comics?â
âoh for sure,â he says, eyes lighting up. âmarvel has tons of great ones. you could start with an ironman one, or maybe captain america? i personally like spider-man, but iâm definitely biased.â
âiâll try spider-man,â you say after a beat.
mark gives you a nod with a warm smile before leaving the register to grab your comic. he searches through the spider-man section until he finds the first issue. he returns to the register, ringing you up.
âi think youâll like it, itâs really good,â mark says, handing your receipt to you.
âiâm definitely looking forward to see what all the hype is about,â you chuckle. the conversation pauses for moment, clearly indicating that the interaction is pretty much over with. but you donât want the conversation to end there, so you find something to keep talking about. âyouâre new here, arenât you? like you just started working here?â
âyeah, sort of,â he says, sitting back in his seat at the register. âi used to work here a while ago and i just came back âcause they needed someone.â
âoh nice,â you reply. âwelcome back i guess?â
âhaha, i guess,â he smiles, rubbing his hand on his neck. âitâs chill here, but it gets kinda boring.â
âtell me about it,â you chuckle. âitâs so slow during the week. i usually have nothing to do.â
âyeah, i just read or draw to pass the time,â mark says, pointing at his notepad on the counter.
âyou like to draw?â you ask, curious.
âyeah,â he places a hand on the notepad, grabbing it. you can tell heâs getting shy again. âitâs just doodles.â
âyouâll have to show me some of those âdoodlesâ sometime,â you say with a sweet smile. you check your phone for the time. itâs getting closer to dinnertime and youâre starved. âi guess iâll get out of here.â
âokay,â he stands again. âwell, let me know what you think of the comic.â
âi will,â you say, turning to leave, then flipping back to look at him. âmark, right?â
he nods, asking for your name as well. he beams at you. âitâs nice to meet you. see you tomorrow?â
âsee you tomorrow,â you say with a wave, walking out.
for the next week, you find yourself aching to talk to mark again. you read the comic he gave you, and it provided a little bit of insight into him⊠that heâs a bit of a nerd. definitely not a bad thing. itâs actually really endearing to you, knowing his life basically revolves around superheroes, free time and work alike. that he probably draws little comics in his notepad, and has sweet dreams about being superhuman. why is that so fucking cute?
you have a reason to talk to him again, of course: the next issue of spider-man. the problem is building up the courage again, which is ridiculous because heâs just a guy. a nerdy one at that, and you know that he would be putty in your hands if you really wanted him to be. but the longing you developed for him during those long hours of your shift, seeing him across the way, looking so cute in his round glasses⊠itâs making you nervous in a way that is difficult to explain.
youâve been putting off going back to his store at this point. wouldnât someone that wanted to get into superhero comics come back for the next edition? why arenât you using your excuse to talk to him? not only that, but he even said he wanted you to come tell him what you thought of the comic. youâre just overthinking things.
you have another short shift one day, and decide today is the day. you gather your things and walk to the neighboring store, feeling the familiar butterflies you felt the first time you approached mark at the register. heâs drawing this time, crouched down and focused. he hears you walk in, lifting his head to meet your eyes. maybe youâre crazy, but it looks like his eyes light up.
âhey,â he says, closing the notepad in front of him. you present the spider-man comic to him, and he flashes a smile at you. âwhatâd you think?â
you chuckle, holding the comic close to your chest. âit was good, but too short. thereâs another issue, right?â you joke, hoping it lands.
he lets out a giggle, âyeah, there definitely is. iâll grab the next one for you.â
he walks over to a section near the front of the store, flipping through the excess of papers before he finds the 2nd issue. âif you liked that one, youâll like this one even more.â he returns to the register with the issue, placing it on the counter for you.
âduel to the death with the vulture?â you read from the page. âi havenât seen any of the movies recently so correct me if iâm wrong, but i donât remember there being a vulture.â
âoh yeah, heâs in one of the later movies actually,â mark starts. âbut you got a long way to go til you finally meet one of the iconic villians like the green goblin, or even the love interests gwen stacy or mary jane. itâll be so worth the wait though.â
âhow much do i owe you?â you ask, already pulling out your wallet.
âyou can borrow it if you want,â he says.
âbut this one belongs to the store, wonât you get in trouble?â you ask.
âjust bring it back and itâs like it never happened,â he whispers, faking a shhh at you. âletâs just say itâs mall employee perk.â
you smile and accept it.
your new routine feels like a nice change of pace. every second of every day used to drag by, and yet at the same time, when you got home, everything that happened was so unbelievably boring that it all felt like a blur. nothing really significant happened to you. but something about trying something new, learning about a brand new niche interest, and even developing a crush⊠itâs finally something exciting.
you looked forward to the next time you got a new issue. not just that, but the next time you got to talk to mark. he has this charm about him that piqued your interest. it feels so easy to talk to him, as if youâve already known each other for a long time and it isnât just a budding friendship. youâd find yourself stopping by the comic book store a few times a week, anticipating the next comic and the underlying tension between you and mark.
like today, when you finally got off of work after a long shift. you were able to close up shop quickly and now youâre walking over to the comic book store, attempting to run in before mark locked up.
âhey, is it cool if i get the next issue real quick?â you ask, popping your head in the store.
âyeah, one sec,â he says, looking up from counting the cash in the register. âlemme just finish closing up the register.â
âare you implying that youâre gonna let me borrow another comic?â you ask, a flirty tone floating beneath.
âwell of course,â he says, swiftly closing the cash drawer. âunless you want to start collecting, which by the way, SUPER expensive.â
âi think iâll stick to being a casual reader for now,â you joke, approaching mark at the register.
âi donât know, you might change your mind after this one,â he says, grabbing a comic from his bag. he holds it out to you, you grabbing it with your fingers briefly brushing past his. the motion makes you feel a little dizzy, and you can feel heat rising to your cheeks.
you shake your head, realizing this one doesnât belong to the store. âwait, is this your own personal comic?â
âyeah, itâs one of my favorites,â he says, half focusing as heâs writing something on a sticky note at the counter. âi brought it in so you can borrow it.â you can see the corner of his mouth turning up, as if heâs trying to hold back a smile.
âyou didnât have to do thatââ
âi wanted to,â he says, lifting his head up to hand you the sticky note he was writing on. âjust treat it with care.â
you take the note, which is pale blue with a cartoon spider-man in the corner. in the middle of the note is a scrawled out phone number. you look up to see mark rubbing the back of his neck nervously.
âif you want to tell me what you think?â he says, almost like a question.
âor maybe when i get bored during my shift?â you ask, chuckling.
âiâd like that a lot actually,â he smiles, his previous nervousness quickly washing away.
âyouâll regret it though,â you say, sticking the note on the front page of the comic. âbecause i get bored here a lot.â
âdonât worry,â mark laughs, shaking his head. âi donât think iâll get sick of you anytime soon.â
you finally reached issue #14 of spider-man, the one mark is lending to you. you grab it out of your bag at the beginning of your shift, sitting back in your chair behind the register and getting comfortable. you realize what itâs about and immediately text mark.
sent 10:17 am omg wait i didnât realize this issue is the first appearance of the green goblin
you look across the way, seeing mark pick up his phone and smiling.
sent 10:18 am mark: oh yeah, heâs fuckin sick mark: youâre gonna love it
you click your phone off with a soft sigh, flipping back to your comic. you go about your shift switching from helping customers and checking them out, and reading. every once and a while, youâll message mark with your comments and he would always reply with enthusiasm.
the end of your shift approaches quickly, and soon enough youâre closing the security shutters. you look behind you to see mark locking the doors and then doing the same. he mustâve felt your eyes on him, because he turns and flashes his famous smile to you. you walk over to him with the comic in hand.
âyou were right,â you say, handing it him. âgreen goblin is super sick.â
âi told you,â he says, reaching for it, and your hands momentarily touching like last time. he gets flustered. âuh, i can give you the next one tomorrow if youâre working.â
âi am, yeah,â you reply, adjusting your bag on your shoulder. âi am so curious thoughâwhen the hell does gwen stacy show up?â
âoh,â he giggles to himself. âyouâre like, halfway there to finally seeing her.â
âi didnât realize how extensive this series is,â you chuckle. ânot that iâm complaining. iâm actually surprised by how much i like it.â
âiâm glad,â he says sweetly. âwell, just come by tomorrow and iâll give you the next issue.â
âi will.â
the following weeks, you became overtaken by superhero comics and stupid-fucking-adorable mark. you would read an issue of spider-man at work, and text mark with your reactions to certain scenes. at first you thought it might be annoying to him, but he actually seemed to encourage it, asking for your opinions on the characters and storyline.
it doesnât help that every time you see mark, you get butterflies in your stomach. and it seemed to only be getting worse; you keep finding yourself smiling when his name pops up on your phone. you wake up excited to go to work, because you know youâll probably have another interaction with him. sometimes, mark would even catch you staring at him and give a little nod with a smile. but what made things exponentially worse was when you catch him gazing at you too, catching you off guard but making a smile spread across your lips. you are smitten, and if anyone else was concerned, mark is probably smitten too. the issue is getting him to finally take the hint and making a real move on you.
he may get a little flustered around you, but heâs not exactly shy. after all, he did give you his number unprompted. but after weeks of going back and forth strictly talking about comics and work, you started to lose hope. you just want him. he must want you back just as bad.
after another closing shift, you watch the mall-goers pass by and file out of the building. the mall is basically empty now, most of the neighboring stores already closed and employees leaving for the day. you had to stay a little bit late, cleaning up a huge mess in the store from some rude customers. you thought you would have time to stop by to see mark, but with the amount of things you have to put away, your chances are looking slim.
you shuffle around the store, placing items back on the shelves and organizing the tables of merchandise. you eyes shift over to the comic book store, expecting to see it dark and locked up. but it isnât; mark is still in there, half the lights still on, with him unboxing comics from their latest shipment. you already knew it was restock day for them (god you have way too much free time), but you didnât realize how many boxes they got in.
you open the front door of your store, whisper-yelling through the security shutters. âmark!â
markâs head turns to look at you and flashes a grin at you. âyo, youâre still here too?â
you nod, leaning on the glass door. you hold up a few of the displaced items in your hands. âgo-backs,â you shrug.
he points at the pile of boxes in front of him, ârestock. we got a lot of shit in early for christmas.â
âdonât say christmas please, i donât want to think about it yet,â you say with a laugh.
you turn away to get back to work, putting all the merchandise back to their assigned spots. you donât know what the hell got into people today; messing up all your organization youâve done and putting things in all the wrong places. it didnât help that you had to deal with some assholes with returns today too. you always theorize itâs from a full moon or mercury retrograde or something; those things must be the reason people start acting up.
after about an hour of cleaning, you finish up and can finally call it a day. you close up shop and turn to see mark still working on stocking at his store. you approach the security gate of the store, with its front door still propped open.
âi still need my next issue by the way,â you say to mark, who stands from his crouching position in front of an open box. he walks up to the gate and pushes it up, just enough for you to come through. you look hesitant.
âcome in, itâs okay,â he says, motioning you in. you duck under the security gate, slipping into the store. âhow was your day? looks like you had a lot to do.â
âyeah, the store was a mess,â you say, following him to the register. âiâve never had to stay so late after close.â
âitâs only gonna get worse the closer it gets to christmas,â mark says while weaving around the boxes with you.
âwhat did i say about christmas?â you joke, nudging his shoulder softly.
âsorry, sorry,â he laugh, putting his hands up. you wait patiently for him as he kneels behind the register, looking for your comic. he pops back up with a stumped look on his face. âi swear i thought i put it up here to give to you but i canât find it. iâm gonna go check the back.â
he starts walking to the back room, and looks back at you. âfeel free to sit if you want. our stockroom is a wreck, this might take a sec.â
you nod to him, squeezing past the tower of boxes to sit in the chair at the register. it feels kinda funny to sit back here, like youâre seeing the store from a different perspective, from markâs perspective. you look around behind the counter, seeing the little notes and cute super-hero knick knacks gathered around.
thereâs a mini batman funko pop positioned in the corner, with a sticky note placed under his feet reading âno drinks at the register.â you look over to see a large iced coffee with markâs name in sharpie. well, we all bend the rules a bit. his name tag is placed on the counter by a stack of comics. you grab it to take a closer look. itâs a plastic red pin with a white pop-art bubble. in the corner is a small piece of paper stuck on it, attached with office tape. on the paper is a spider-man doodle, made with red and blue marker and pen ink.
youâre sure this mustâve been drawn by mark. you have yet to see any of his drawings (despite your prying), so maybe seeing this one up close will give you a sneak peek into his style. itâs a little messy, with scratchy lines and colors bleeding outside the borders. despite that, it has a distinct style that youâre fond of. itâs not perfect, let alone does it look like the super-heroes youâve been reading in your comics. but it has a quality to it that feels less polished and flat. it has character. the messiness makes it feel more⊠real.
you set his name tag down, placing it back next to the large stack of comics. these must be his go-backs. heâs been so wrapped up with his shipment he probably hasnât had time to put them away. you think maybe it would be nice to help a bit. heâs been nice enough to let you borrow comics from the store, and youâre just waiting around after all.
you pick up the stack of comics, situating them into your arms, when you look down and see that under the stack is markâs notepad. itâs not closed like youâre used to seeing it, opened to a clean white page with a drawing covering up a majority of it. itâs in a comic book style, youâre not surprised. but it has the same quality that his name tag doodle does; scrawly and messy, with no real precise lines. the colors are splashed across the page, with blotches of scribbled colored marker decorating it. then realize what it isâwho it is.
itâs you.
the whole image captures you and a little bit of your surroundings. positioned at your normal spot at the register, youâre looking down at a comic with your fingers playing with the ends of your hair. but it has a dream-like feel to it, with the pages of the comic illuminating your face as if a source of power is emanating from it. and then the best part: the wings. placed behind your shoulders are pair of feathered wings, outstretched in a sketched black ink. itâs beautiful.
itâs beautiful and itâs you. mark drew you.
âyo, sorry that took so long,â mark says while emerging from the back, eyes still focused on the comic in his hands. âi finally found it, but dude i had to do some diggingââ
markâs words are cut short when he notices you holding his notepad, comics that were placed atop abandoned on the counter by you. he visibly gulps.
âmarkâŠâ you start, not moving your eyes from the drawing. âwhatâs this?â without a response for a few moments, you tear your eyes away to see mark with blush on his cheeks, mouth open but unable to let any words out. âdid you⊠did you draw me?â
âlook, it gets really slow during the day, i just did a little sketch to pass timeââ
âmark, this isnât just a sketch,â you say, looking back down at the notepad. âthis is amazing.â
ây-you like it?â mark says, hand rubbing the back of his neck.
âof course i like it,â you say.
âyou donât think itâs weird that i drew you without telling you?â mark asks, nervousness radiating from him.
âi donât think itâs weird at all,â you say. âi actually love it. i like that you drew me as a superhero too, and one with wings at that.â
mark stays quiet, looking at his feet and probably overthinking everything right now. you look back up at him, tension building in your stomach as you ask what you already know the answer to. âyou like me, donât you?â
mark lifts his head to meet your eyes. he bites his lip anxiously as he nods slowly.
a streak of courage overtakes you as you grab his arm to pull him closer, him tripping over his own feet and crashing into your chest. youâre leaned against the counter, with markâs arm behind you and hand placed flat on the surface. your faces are close, and you can feel his breath. his eyes are glued onto your lips, and he swallows thickly.
âmark, just kiss me,â you mumble, aching for him.
he wastes no time, leaning in to slot his lips between yours. he snakes an arm around your waist, holding you as close as he can. you melt into him, goosebumps floating across your skin in all-consuming desire. you move your hand to hold his cheek, thumb swiping on his smooth skin and fingers tangled in his soft, messy hair.
he pulls away, breath still shaky. âiâve been wanting to kiss you for so longâŠâ he trails off before leaning in and kissing you again, this time with more passion. he swipes his tongue between your lips, with you willingly accepting him. his hands trail up and down your sides, then finally places a firm grip on your waist and lifting you to sit on the counter. he slots between your legs, his body pressed close to yours. your fingers card through his hair, earning a sweet hum from him.
his hands trail down to your ass, pushing you closer against him to where you feel the bulge forming in his jeans. he canât even hold back his moan, it being muffled by your lips. he pulls away again, this time kissing from your cheek down to your neck. he sucks at the expanse of skin while he caresses the other side of your throat. you let out a soft hum in pleasure, savoring every bite and lickâ
âfuck, you sound so hot too,â he says in between kisses. he moves a hand down to your breast, kneading it roughly. you throw your head back, soaking in the pleasure from just his hands alone. his beautiful fucking hands, the ones that drew you. his lips feel so good on you, but his hands feel even better. itâs as if heâs been waiting for this moment for eternity and he doesnât want to let you go. almost as if holding you, touching you is the only thing keeping him grounded in reality. it doesnât feel real to you either; that mark, the cute boy youâve had a crush on for weeks and weeks is kissing you, holding you, and yearning for you all the same.
you feel so wrapped up in the moment that you almost forget that youâre in public. sure, thereâs no one left in the mall and the only people left are probably mall security, but the risk of being seen is still there. it just feels too good to stop.
âmark,â you say, giving in to the anxiety. âare we really doing this? right here, right now?â
he pulls back to look at you, still holding you close. âitâs just us here, and if itâs okay with you, i donât think i can wait any longer.â
âi donât think i can either,â you respond.
suddenly mark is ripping your clothes off, all while pulling you both behind one of the comic display cases. itâs your turn to take his clothes off, and youâre yanking his jacket off and pulling up his graphic tee and discarding them both on the floor. the exchange is a jumbled mess of constant touching of skin and clothes flying in every direction, a true testament to how desperate you both want each other. heâs kissing you all the while, taking every opportunity to peck at you between the tugging of clothes.
he leans you against the display bookshelf full of comics, completely unbothered when an issue or two falls off. your hand travels down into this jeans, feeling him hard and pulsing against your palm. you stroke his length slowly, focusing most of the stimulation on his dripping head. he lifts one of your legs slightly to get better access to you under your skirt, then looks at you as if heâs asking for permission.
you nod your head profusely before leaning in to kiss him deeply. it doesnât last long, because suddenly heâs pushing inside you and youâre gasping at the stretchâ
âyouâre soâfuckâso fucking tight,â he hisses, attempting to push in as slowly as he can. your mouth is fully agape in bliss as he finally bottoms out, reaching deep inside of you. he catches your eyes, lust filled in his own as he slowly starts to move.
heâs slow at first, knowing that his size is stretching you out to the point where itâs nearly painful. but it feels so fucking good, his cock dragging in and out of your tight walls. you can tell he wants to pick up the pace, with his breath shuddering with each stroke. you take the opportunity to kiss him again, wanting to taste his soft lips as he gradually begins to pound into you.
heâs groaning against your lips, and your moans are muffled against his. youâre trying to salvage any sort of public decency by holding back your sounds the best you can. itâs when he grabs your legs and lifts you to press you against the display shelf that you realize that that shred of awareness of your surroundings is about to be long fucking gone.
heâs holding you up by gripping your ass, pistoning into you at a pace that you can only describe as brutal. itâs no use trying to stifle your moans anymore, with him hitting your cervix over and over and making you see stars at each strokeâ
âmark, it feels so fucking good,â you can only whine out to him, wrapping your arms around his neck tighter, tugging at his hairâ
âyou feel so fucking good, jesus,â he groans against your neck, heaving breaths tickling at your throat.
his pace is wild, but the force in which heâs pounding into you begins to cause the comic books around you to tumble off the shelves, creating a pile at markâs feet. he doesnât seem to care though. that is, until a comic book falls from a shelf above you and hits him on the head.
âah!â he exclaims, realizing what happened. he stops his movements to look at you, holding back a smile.
you canât hold back your laugh, giggling profusely at the ridiculousness of the situation. he laughs too, shaking his head and letting out a sigh.
âthis is crazy,â he says, resting his forehead on yours.
âi know,â you reply, still giggling. with one last laugh, he leans in and kisses you tenderly, smile still formed on his lips. you melt into him, ruffling your fingers through his hair as he begins to pick back up the roll of his hips into you.
it feels like a sweet moment, the fact that you can be doing such a scandalous act and still giggle with him. the tenderness doesnât last for long, however, when he hits that perfect spot inside you that forces you to release a sharp moan.
âmark, oh my god,â you whimper, attempting to roll your hips down onto him. âkeep doing that, pleaseââ
âfuuuck,â he groans, feeling your core clenching around his length. âyou take me so well, baby.â
all you can do now is nod, whimpering and whining on him. you canât believe that this man that has always been so endearing, so kind and lovable has this completely different side to him that youâre only now getting to experience. it brings a different sort of intrigue to him; that heâs more than just a cute boy that works at a mall. heâs complex. heâs a fucking man. heâs a fucking. sex. god.
his breathing starts to become irregular, and his pace is back to merciless. his groans, fuck, his moaning. heâs bouncing you on his cock in the perfect way to where your moans are matching his. you can feel his dick pulsing inside youâ
âiâm gonna cum,â he can only breathe out, burying his head into the crook of your neck. âcan i?â
âyes mark, please,â you whine, tugging at the ends of his hair. all the while youâre clenching around his cock, bringing him closer and closer to his release.
with a low groan, his hips stutter and you feel his seed spilling into you, completely filling you up. the rocking of his hips stall, and heâs finally letting you down and kissing you sweetly, caressing your cheek with his hand.
âgod, you are fucking perfect,â he whispers to you. you let out a giggle, leaning your forehead against his. âhey, iâm not done with you yet.â
he quickly moves you to the glass display counter, lifting you to sit you on it. he pushes your thighs open, lifting your skirt up to get a better look at you. he looks enamored, like heâs starving and the only thing to appease his hunger is by having you on his mouth.
he dives in, licking a stripe up your core with a groan. he repeats this action, as if heâs savoring every drop of your essence mixed with his release thatâs slowly dripping out of youâ
âso fucking hot,â he hums, releasing a hand from your thigh to tease at your entrance.
âmark, please,â you beg. âstop teasingââ
he attaches his mouth to your clit, swirling his tongue around in smooth, controlled circles. your hands fly to his head, body already twitching from stimulation. his finger is still prodding at your hole, wanting to enter but not just yet. he instead continues to ravage at your sensitive bud, intentional movements making your head spin. he knows what heâs doing and he knows heâs good, especially with the shaking of your thighs and high pitched moans escaping your lips egging him on.
he looks up at you, flattening his tongue out and doing long, drawn out licks. the eye contact is insane, the lust filled in them only making it that much hotter. heâs enjoying every second of this, seeing you shake and begging him to keep going. he loves the taste of you too, so sweet and almost addictive. he could die like this.
his teasing finger finally starts to deepen inside you, slowly at first. he can feel every pulse of your core around his finger, and itâs so hot that he can feel himself getting hard again. and youâre so wet, oh my god, so fucking wet. your arousal is dripping down his chin and his hand, making a sticky mess. when you start to roll your hips onto his face, he swears heâs in heaven.
he inserts another finger, feeling that tightness grip around them. itâs only getting more erratic now, clenching around him with each grind of your hips. he curls his fingers to prod at that sensitive spot, causing you to moan out his nameâ
âmark, donât stop,â you whine, looking down at him basically making out with your pussy.
he continues the same movements, repeatedly hitting your g spot and swirling his dripping tongue on your clit. your back arches and legs unintentionally close around his head, making him push them back open with his free hand.
and then he starts humming against you. the vibrations send a shock wave through your body, that mixed with his fingers, his tongue, his hand gripping tightly against your thigh⊠it feels so intense and so so good. you cum on his tongue, with him desperately holding your hips down and he helps you ride out your high. he doesnât stop until youâre shaking, and you have to grab his head and lift it.
âoh my god,â you gasp, slowly coming down.
he smirks up at you with arousal-coated lips. âyeah, oh my god.â he stands up, immediately going to kiss you and you accepting him, wrapping your arms around him. he pulls away and leans his head against yours.
âi canât believe we just did that,â he says, sighing out an exasperated laugh.
âi know, what the fuck, right?â you giggle.
âare you- are you doing anything right now?â he asks. âlike, do you wanna get food or something?â
âare you asking me on a date?â you ask teasingly.
âdonât tell me you decided youâre creeped out by the drawing now,â he laughs.
âyeah. suuuper creeped out,â you joke, leaning in for another kiss. you hear a noise behind you, and look out through the security shutters to see a mall security guard passing by, scrolling through his phone.
âlooks like he just missed the show,â mark says, causing you both to try and hold back your fit of giggles.
a/n: thank u guys for reading! i rly enjoyed this one hehe :-) please leave feedback as i'm new to writing, and reblog to support me! it motivates me to write more!
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#mark lee#mark lee smut#nct mark smut#nct dream smut#nct 127 smut#nct smut#nct x reader#mark smut#mark lee x reader#nct imagines#nct hard thoughts#mark x reader
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àšă»ââââ TELL ME IâM A LITTLE ANGEL, SWEETHEART OF YOUR CITY ââââă»à§
pairing âžș satoru gojo x reader
teaser âžș as a child, you were taken in by the powerful gojo clan and raised alongside their heir, gojo satoru â but never as his sibling. now, at an elite school, your fragile bond is tested when an actual noble woman enters the picture, bringing in a marriage proposal.
content âžș fluff, reader is an academic achiever and has a good handwriting, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, cliff hanger ending, human auctions, implied slavery, jealousy, implied torture, shoko talks about using medical tools for torture (lol), blood, implied abuse, implied grape (not at reader), magic!au, historic!au, the ages of reader and gojo throughout the story: 3, 10, 12, 15, 17
count âžș 22k
authorâs note âžș thank you to everyone for waiting patiently! this is just the part one, i hope it does well to give me enough motivation to write a part two. i have so soo many ideas iâm hoping to incorporate.
đ§ ao3 wattpad
You sat next to the man, bowing deeply with him at some figure you couldnât care less about. It had to be someone important obviously, and you knew now was the time you were going to get kicked out of a place for the tenth time in your life, unwittingly dragging this poor man with you as well. He had seemed kind enough when he had bought you off at that auction.
He wasnât anything like you had feared. You had met other girls bonding with each other inside the cage; girls older and prettier than you, getting sold off one by one to old and creepy men who looked like they couldnât keep it in their pants. You had dreaded meeting the same fate as them. That was, until the man who kept increasing his offer for you looked younger and stronger.
He was probably like one of those army officers you had seen at your motherâs house, who would stand guard outside your small room each night she and her happy family went out to lavish parties, to make sure you didnât escape. Well, even if you did, you thought that was what they would have wanted, but they kept saying that they didnât want anyone noticing your existence. Not that they didnât have a good reason.
In your mind, you had hoped the man would win, and when he had, the triumphant look on his face made you sigh in relief; at least now you were sure you wouldnât be used as a hole for life. But were you, though? Because the thoughts kept creeping back; the looks on the other girlsâ faces when they were taken away by their new masters. But the mysterious man had made you sit on his pretty horse, taking you somewhere, away from the horrifying auctions that represented the worst atrocities made by humans.
You peered from under your hands, still in your bowing position. The person had now risen. He had dark hair and vivid blue eyes. He seemed to peer at you in as much curiosity as you were at him. That was, until a crisp voice had cut through the silence, knocking you out of your bow when it addressed your saviour to âpack his things and leaveâ.
âI understand, madam,â he said smoothly, getting up to leave, not before giving another curt nod. Then he turned to you. âThis is where my job ends, little one. Youâll be much happier here,â he whispered, nodding at you and standing up. You almost wanted to stop him before you remembered you were told several times that you didnât possess any human emotions. So you watched him leave, wondering how he was so sure this wouldnât be another one of your previous houses.
âAs for the child,â you snapped your head back to the dark-haired man in front of you who seemed to be giving commands, âwe must decide which family keeps her. From the looks of it, she needs to be tended to,â he eyed your wounds from previous struggles you wished to forget about.
You stared at the people he was questioning, and they all looked away. This seemed like a meeting room, and the people were lined up sitting parallel to each other. Some were glaring at you like you had come to raid their houses, fuck their wives and drink their blood. None of them seemed to realize you were only a child of ten. Nervous under all the gazes, you wished to find another person you could bow to, just to avoid all the staring you were receiving.
âWe will,â said the same voice you had heard earlier, and you finally looked at its source.
She had long, white hair that seemed to reach till the floor. Her eyes were light, and she looked pretty. She had a cold look on her face that made her seem frightening, though, and that was probably why you saw that none of the others could even muster enough courage to look at her eyes when she said those words.
âWell, itâs decided then,â the man said in a final tone, as if he had only bargained about the price of a few watermelons from his local vendor. âLove, if you will.â
Love? Oh, maybe they were married.
The woman stood up and everyone bowed at her again. You were about to sink back into the position before she crouched down in front of you, caressing your hair with a touch that made you look back at her.
âCome with me, daughter.â
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
âI have a sister now?â âShh, and donât call her that. Iâve already told you, sheâs not your sisterââ
âDoes she know how to ride horses?â âDo you ever do anything else?â
âShe should know how to ride horses.â âYou can teach her.â
âOh, wow, really?â
You scrambled away from the door at the sounds of footsteps returning and sunk back into the expensive bed the woman had had prepared for you. The âwomanâ who asked you to call her âmomâ, somehow losing the twinkle in her eye when commanding maids around, which she seemed to regain every time you spoke something.
You knew it was a trap though. If she really âadoptedâ you and wanted you to call her âmomâ, wouldnât that mean you were the sister to whatever child she already had? Yet here you were, all cleaned up and changed, almost believing the charade before realizing the child was being advised not to consider you as their sister.
You bit your lip, trying not to cry. At least you werenât at your old house thinking of ways to poison your family, or in that cage counting down for when it was your turn, or lying dead in some creepâs backyard. Maybe you could enjoy this while it lasted.
âMay I come in?â A polite, boyish voice rang out from behind your door. A hushed whisper of an older woman seemed to reprimand him for not knocking, and the two started to argue.
âYes?â You didnât quite know how to respond professionally to the request, so your answer came off more as a question. You sure hoped the man wouldnât scold you for your manners as well.
A boy stepped forward, and you immediately knew he was the son of the two clan leaders. Not because of his clothes, but because of his face. He had the same white hair as his mother, and the blue eyes he got from his father. Maybe blue eyes were a thing of the clan?
âHi,â he said awkwardly, and the door closed behind him. âMother sent me here for âbonding timeâ.â You kept staring at him, not realizing you were staring. He looked up at you and flushed. Only then did you realize, chuckling awkwardly and scratching your wrists, trying to get used to the expensive scents the maids had covered you with.
âCan I⊠uh,â he trailed off, staring at you, and you blinked back at him, not knowing what he was going to say.
â...sit on the bed?â You offered, and he raised an eyebrow before climbing on it, sitting in the most formal position you had ever seen.
âDo you like horse riding?â âWhat?â
He flushed even more. âMother said we should ask each other questions to get to know the other better.â
âOh.â âYeah.â
There was another silence.
âSo itâs my turn to ask a question now?â You asked. âYeah.â
âDo you like potatoes?â
âWhat?â He processed your question for a solid five seconds before bursting into laughter. You kept staring at him as if he was stupid. Did you say something stupid?
âI like you!â He said in between giggles, his old formal, uptight position long lost. It was your turn to flush now. No one had ever said they even wanted you alive, let alone say that. Well, no one except for three people in the past few hours, and now this guy. You had a feeling you might prefer this over anything else for now.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The soft hum of celebration still lingered in the air. Lanterns flickered outside glowing warmly across your room. You sat on the edge of your bed, staring at the wrapped gifts and trinkets the Gojo family had insisted on presenting you earlier. It had been strange, the idea of sharing a birthday with Satoru. You didnât even know your real birthday, so his â no â your mother announced it would be shared.
Satoru had, of course, embraced the attention, dragging you along with him to cut the massive cake. You had never seen anything like this before, and it might have shown on your face, because he had held your wrist tightly as if annoyed you were taking so long, and cut the cake with you. That was what made it impossible to shun the feelings of belongingness.
Now, the house was quiet, and the festivities had faded. But just as you were about to pull the covers over yourself, the faint sound of your door creaking open made you pause.
âHey,â Satoruâs voice whispered, followed by the soft padding of his feet. You turned your head to see him, still in the formal robes mother had fussed over earlier, though they were now slightly askew. His hair was a mess, his face flushed from excitement â or maybe all the sweets heâd devoured.
âShould you not knock?â you asked, folding your arms. You inwardly cringed at the noble accent you had unknowingly adopted from the Gojo family. âAnd what are you doing here?â
âEscaping,â he said, as if that explained everything. He plopped down without invitation beside you on the bed, leaning back on his hands and gazing at the ceiling. âMotherâs got the maids cleaning up. I was bored. Figured youâd be awake.â
You rolled your eyes, but he caught the faint smile tugging at your lips. âYouâre going to get us in trouble. Again.â
âWhatâs the point of having a birthday if you canât even cause some trouble now?â He shot you a grin, then leaned closer to the window. âLetâs go outside.â
âWhat? No.â âPlease, please, pretty please?â
âI am not letting my first birthday become my death day,â you scoffed at him. Taking one look at the pout on his face, which seemed to stretch all the way down to his neck, you sighed, and he knew he won. âFine. But weâre only looking outside.â
âWhat!? But whatâs the fun in that?â âThen go alone.â
He pouted again, but you merely looked away trying to shield yourself from his cuteness. Soon after though, Satoru relented. He slid the window open and climbed onto the ledge, grumbling for you to follow. You joined him, settling beside him as the smell of night air filled your room. The stars were brilliant tonight, like silver dust across an ink-black canvas.
âTheyâre so bright,â you murmured. âItâs almost⊠too much.â
Satoru snorted. âThatâs the problem with you. You overthink everything. Just look at them â theyâre pretty, thatâs all there is to it.â
You rolled your eyes again but couldnât suppress a small laugh. âFine. Theyâre beautiful. Happy now?â
âVery,â he said, grinning. Then he tilted his head, closing his eyes and mumbling something to himself. He opened his eyes, looking at you expectantly. âNow itâs your turn. Make a wish.â
âWhat?â You frowned.
âA wish! Like for your birthday. I know we already made some during the cake thing, but this oneâs private. Just for us.â
You hesitated, unsure of what to wish for, before finally closing your eyes. Satoru watched you intently as if trying to guess your wish, but when you opened your eyes again, he pretended to be fascinated by the sky.
âOh, done already? What did you wish for?â he asked after a moment.
âYou said it was private,â you shot back. âWhat did you wish for?â
âNot telling,â he replied smugly, crossing his arms. âWhat if you laugh?â
âWhy would I laugh?â you asked, raising an eyebrow.
âBecause youâre you.â âAnd youâre stupid.â
The two of you fell into another argument, but when it finally died down, it was followed by a comfortable silence, broken only by the occasional sound of distant crickets. Then, out of nowhere, Satoru blurted out, âDo you think the stars can hear us?â
âWhat?â You stared at him.
âThe stars,â he said seriously, pointing upward. âDo you think they grant wishes, like gods or something?â
âThatâs stupid,â you muttered, but you couldnât hide the faint curl of amusement on your lips. âTheyâre just balls of gas.â
âWell, maybe those gas balls are listening,â he said, sticking his tongue out. âYou donât know everything. Maybe they are hearing us right now.â
You opened your mouth to retort but froze. A memory seemed to resurfaceâŠ
âI still donât know why you decided to keep the child!â a deep voice was screeching at another, soft one.
âI donât know what came over me, I swear!ââIt is the spawn of Satan himself! I respect you for what you have been through, but it is time to dispose of her.â
âDispose? You donât meanââ
Large hands came your way to muffle the screams from your mouth.
Your fingers clenched the windowsill.
âThey didnât hear me before,â you said quietly, almost to yourself.
âWhat?â Satoru noticed the change in your tone, and turned to look at you, his brow furrowing. âWho? The balls?â
You shook your head quickly. âNever mind. Forget I said anything.â
But Satoru wasnât one to let things go. âHey,â he said softly. âYou can tell me. I mean, if you want.â
His sincerity made your chest tighten. Normally, after the word âballsâ, he would have made a bad joke about male anatomy. But he seemed to have read the room enough to shut up. You looked at him, his bright blue eyes watching you with genuine concern. For a moment, you thought about telling him. But then, the weight of it all felt too heavy to share. He was too young, too shielded from the horrors of the world to be able to handle any of it anyway.
âItâs nothing,â you muttered. âJust something dumb I used to believe.â
Satoru opened his mouth to argue, then seemed to think better of it. Instead, he smiled gently and nudged your shoulder. âOkay. But if you ever want to talk about dumb things, Iâm here. You know, Iâm dumb, soâŠâ he tried making the joke you always did.
You didnât know how to respond to that, so you simply nodded. The two of you sat in silence for a little while longer, watching the stars. Finally, Satoru stretched and hopped down from the ledge.
âGoodnight,â he said, giving you a lopsided grin. âAnd happy birthday.â
You blinked at him, caught off guard by the warmth in his voice. âYou too,â you said softly.
As he closed the door as softly as he could behind him, you stared out at the stars, wondering if maybe, just maybe, they had started listening after all.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The sound of hooves clattering against the cobblestone path filled the air as the royal carriage swayed gently on its way to the prestigious School of Royalty. The morning sun cast a golden glow on the lush green fields outside, but inside, the atmosphere was both tense and excited.
âYou know,â Satoru began, leaning lazily against the plush velvet seat, âI heard thereâs a whole batch of new exchange students joining today. Rumor is, one of themâs from the Silver Crescent Kingdom. Ever seen anyone from there? Theyâre supposed to have that, uh⊠âethereal glow.â You think thatâs real, or just something people say?â
You barely glanced up from the notebook in your lap, furrowing your brows as you paused your incoherent babbling of equations. âIf you spent half as much time studying for the exam as you do gossiping, maybe you wouldnât need to cheat off me later.â
He smirked, unbothered. âCheat? Me? Iâm offended. Iâm just naturally brilliant.â
ïżœïżœïżœAnd naturally annoying,â you muttered, flipping to another page of hastily scribbled notes.
Satoru ignored the jab, his grin widening. At fifteen, heâd grown into someone who couldnât step into a room without people swooning for his attention. You guessed it was just a Gojo thing he inherited from his mother. The girls adored him â some from afar, others more boldly (you still cringe remembering that one time a girl with a sorry excuse of a top was taken away by your guards for trying to get a kiss from him last year) â and the boys either envied or wanted to be him. The name âSatoru Gojoâ seemed to be whispered wherever he went, and he couldnât be happier.
You, on the other hand, had decided that the attention you receive at your house was enough to satisfy you for a lifetime, and you would rather spend your time learning something new â at least, thatâs what you told your mother; that you would rather cry over your grades than guys, to which Satoru had cleverly remarked, âWhy not both?â earning a glare from his mother. While you did have friends, and you did seem to be friendly with everyone around you, you would watch in dismay when most of these friends would recite their love stories, and you had nothing to share. The boys barely noticed you, too busy being gay over Satoru. But you had your books, your achievements, and the satisfaction of knowing you didnât need anyoneâs approval.
âAnd get this,â Satoru continued, his excitement growing. âI heard one of themâs some kind of prodigy. Like, they mastered advanced magic when they were ten. Can you imagine? Finally, someone who might be able to keep up with me. Theyâre a senior too, so I want to see the look on their face when they realize Iâm better than them.â
âMhm,â you replied distractedly, not bothering to look up. You were too busy with the definition of archaic spellcasting principles and the formulas for mana stabilization to muster a reply of more than a single syllable. The exam was in less than an hour, and the thought of failing even one question sent a jolt of anxiety through you.
Satoru leaned forward, peering at your notes upside down. âWhatâs that? Something about magic circles? Youâre still on those? I mastered those ages ago.â
You snapped your notebook shut and shot him a glare. âYou didnât âmasterâ anything. You just wing it and hope for the best.â
âHey, it works, doesnât it?â He shrugged. âBesides, youâll cover for me if I mess up. Thatâs what partners are for.â
âWeâre not partners.â
âSure we are,â he said breezily. âPartners in crime. Mischief-makers extraordinaire. The unbeatable duo.â He winked, and you rolled your eyes so hard it was a wonder they didnât fall out of your head.
The carriage hit a bump, causing you to clutch your notes tighter. Satoru, unfazed, lounged back in his seat and stared out of the window. âYou know, you should relax a little. Exams arenât life or death.â
âFor you, maybe. Some of us donât have a safety net made of charm and raw talent.â
He laughed, the sound warm and unguarded. âWow, you really think Iâm charming and talented? Thanks, baby.â
You didnât dignify that dumb statement with a response. Instead, you turned your attention back to your notes, determined to make use of every second you had left.
The carriage began to slow, signaling their arrival at the school gates. Satoru straightened, his excitement palpable. âHere we go. Time to make an impression. Think the exchange students are going to swoon over me?â
âOnly if they have no taste,â you muttered, gathering your things.
He grinned, standing and offering you a hand as the carriage came to a stop. âCome on, donât be such a poopy.â
You cringed again before taking his hand, letting him help you down. The moment your feet touched the ground, the buzz of the school grounds surrounded you. Students swarmed the entrance, chattering excitedly about everything from the new arrivals to last-minute cramming for the exam.
Satoru strode ahead confidently, while you lingered a step behind, clutching your notes tightly. He glanced at you, running back to catch up with you. âWhereâs Kuro? Heâs supposed to be part of the dramatic entrance I had planned.â
âI sent him away. He was annoying me with the confetti.â âYouâ WHAT?â
You ignored him, continuing to walk up the stairs leading to your exam hall without looking up at anyone. Satoru jogged beside you.
âWe havenât met with any of the exchange students yet!â âSatoru, if you want to, then leave.â
He pouted, planting your face in front of yours above your notes. âYou know I wonât leave you.â
âThen stay quiet and let me study.â âAlright, alright,â he said, sighing. He stared at you for a few moments, pacing around the hall with you while you muttered curses under your breath. He smiled. You always hated this one subject but felt the need to excel in it anyway. âHey,â he said softly. âYouâll do great, you know.â
The sincerity in his voice caught you off guard, but you masked it with a scoff. âYouâd better hope so. If I fail, youâll fail too.â
He laughed again, a sound as effortless as everything else about him. âThatâs true. Canât impress anyone with an F on the paper, can I?â The loud bell rang, and Satoru moved to cover your ears with the palms of his hands. âIâve got you covered, princess. In return, you must guarantee that I pass.â
You smiled a genuine smile at him, something you had gotten quite used to doing in the past four years you had spent with your new family. âI canât guarantee that. Letâs go, Iâm done now.â
His eyes widened comically, âWhat do you mean you canât guarantee that?â You laughed at him, and he snatched your notebook from your hands. âGive me that! Oh god. Iâm doomed, arenât I?â
âYup, letâs go now.â
The exam hall echoed with the sound of faint murmurs and the occasional nervous coughs. While theory had been nerve-wracking, at least you had been able to cram for it. But the practicals? They were a whole different beast. No amount of late-night revisions could prepare you for actual spellwork.
You clutched your wand tightly, its polished surface cold and smooth against your clammy palms. The examiner called your name, and your stomach flipped. Taking a deep breath, you stepped forward. What were the steps again? Swing your wand, say the words, and hope for the best.
You stood before the enchanted apparatus. It was a simple magical round glass that would respond to the accuracy of your spell, changing its colour accordingly. The orb pulsed softly, steams of gas floating stilly in its interior, waiting. You were supposed to transfigure a cactus into a goblet full of water. The room was silent, dozens of eyes boring into your back.Â
Why did they have to make everyone do the practicals individually, and on stage?
You closed your eyes briefly, mustering every ounce of focus. With a flick of your wand and the carefully practiced words spilling from your lips, you executed the spell. Wand still in the air, you waited. And waited. And waited. Nothing happened. Then, the orb glowed a brilliant gold.
âPerfect!â The elderly professor cried, clasping her hands together. She really liked you. âNext, please.â
Relief washed over you, and you felt a disbelieving smile creep onto your face. Scooting off the stage, you climbed down the stairs to your seat. You caught Satoruâs eye and mouthed, Good luck. He was slouching on his chair, winking at you and giving you a lazy thumbs-up.
Just as you sat down, you noticed your gaze didnât leave him. You kept looking at him, how effortlessly good he looked in his outfit, sunglasses perched languidly on his nose. He was looking straight ahead at the stage above, and you glanced at the front too. Shoko got a pale yellow glow from the orb, an easy B.
Your eyes wandered to the girl in line ahead of Satoru. You recognized her instantly, how could you not? Wavy chestnut hair that caught the light just so, impeccable posture, an air of confidence that bordered on smug, and her pink lips upright looking behind her. She was from one of the distant kingdomsâbrilliant in class, annoyingly charming, and unfortunately, quite pretty. And right now, she seemed pretty happy about being positioned so close to Satoru.
It was the way she was smiling at Satoru that irritated you. Not the polite, fleeting kind of smile youâd give a classmate. No, this was different. She tilted her head slightly, her lips curved in a way that made even you highly uncomfortable. You saw her fingers brush a strand of hair behind her ear â twice, because apparently once wasnât enough â and she leaned just a fraction closer to him.
You squinted. Was she flirting? She was flirting. Yuck. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, but your jaw tightened. Getting up sneakily from your seat, you joined the crowd they stood with to spy on the two.
âI hear the examiners this year are super strict,â she said, her voice soft and lilting. âNot that you need to worry. Iâve seen you in dueling practice â youâre incredible,â she sighed at him dramatically, eyes turned to hearts.
Satoru blinked at her, then scratched the back of his neck. âUh, thanks? I guess?â
She laughed â too loud for a casual compliment. âYouâre so modest! Thatâs so rare, you know.â Her eyes sparkled as she stared up at him, clearly hoping heâd reciprocate the energy.
He didnât. âModest? Me?â Satoruâs tone was laced with genuine confusion, his brow furrowing slightly. âYou sure youâre talking about the right guy?â
You saw Geto, his best friend, stifle a laugh at that, but you didnât find any of this funny. Geto caught your eye and immediately stopped laughing, trying to inch closer to Satoru to warn him of your incoming wrath.
But the girl kept blocking his way.
âOh, absolutely,â she said smoothly, leaning in even closer. âI bet youâll get top marks, as always. You must have so many admirers.â
Your grip on your wand tightened. You might not be as violent as Satoru when it came to dueling, but you couldnât care less about that at the moment. Nor did you seem to notice the sheer number of students surrounding you.
Satoru, as usual, was utterly oblivious. âAdmirers? I sure hope so,â he said with a shrug. âBut thanks, I guess?â
You wanted to shake him. How could he not see what she was doing? The way her voice softened whenever she said his name, how her lashes fluttered just a bit too much when she looked at him â it was painfully obvious. And yet, Satoru treated her like he treated everyone else: polite, casual, and just detached enough to make it clear he wasnât interested.
âNext!â called the examiner, and the girlâs name echoed through the hall.
She turned to Satoru with a dazzling smile. âWish me luck?â
âUh, good luck?â he said, scratching his head.
You were half a second away from gagging, Geto slipping from beside Satoru to join you, both of you dissing the situation in hushed whispers.
As she walked away, you muttered under your breath, âUnbelievable.â
Geto muttered, equally frustrated, but this was pointed towards Satoru, âUnbelievable indeed.â
Your eyes followed the movements of her wand, and you tried to calculate the exact angle by which she tilted her wand too high, the length by which her hand movement went wrong and the distance between her wrist and the cactus assigned to her. Geto shook his head at your overly focused expression.
A loud pop filled the air, followed by startled squeaks. Your eyes widened. The examiners scrambled around, now very much turned into rats! The girl froze, her wand dangling uselessly at her side as laughter rippled through the room.
You bit your lip. What were you supposed to be feeling right now? Secondhand embarrassment or vindication? Serves her right, you thought, though a small part of you almost pitied her. Almost.
The headmaster, who had been watching the whole ordeal with an amused expression, quickly restored order, probably glad he wasnât turned into a mouse or something. He dismissed the rest of the students and awarded automatic Aâs to those who hadnât gone yet.
You groaned and Geto laughed at you, a grimacing Shoko dangling from his arm. Together, the three of you were about to leave the hall when Satoru caught up with you, grinning like heâd just won the lottery. âWild. Best exam ever. I didnât even have to do anything!â
You shot him a sideways glance, your mood souring again. âYeah, lucky you.â
âWait, are you mad?â he asked, peering at you. âYouâre mad. Why are you mad?â
âIâm not mad,â you said shortly, walking faster, waving goodbye to Geto, who was now left alone to deal with a hungry kitten, Shoko.
âYouâre definitely mad,â he teased, catching up. âWhat, is it because I got an A without lifting a finger? Donât worry, youâll get to cheat off my usual genius self next time. Maybe youâll even get an A+++++++ because of me⊠or whatever the highest grade is.â
âRight,â you said, rolling your eyes. âYouâre so modest,â you mimicked the girl from earlier, but he didnât get the reference.
At break, you sat under the shade of a tree, quietly eating your snack and watching the courtyard buzz with post-exam chatter. Across the lawn, the girl was crying into her boyfriendâs shoulder, her wails loud enough to carry. You frowned, unsure whether to feel sorry for or annoyed at her.
Her boyfriend, a tall, broad-shouldered guy from her kingdom, seemed to be comforting her, rubbing her back and murmuring reassurances. Weird, you thought. He doesnât even know heâs worse than Satoru in her eyes.
The suspension had been swift: four months for reckless and dangerous spellcasting. Watching her now, you couldnât muster much sympathy. It was one thing to fail; it was another to fail so dramatically. Itâs what she deserves.
Satoru plopped down beside you, unwrapping a burger heâd somehow acquired (probably chased after Shoko to steal her food). âHey, isnât that, uh... Britney? No, wait, Bridget? Or... Burger?â
You raised an eyebrow. âBurger?â
âYeah, burger,â he said, taking a huge bite and gesturing vaguely in her direction. âSheâs got layers, yâknow? Like a burger.â
âYouâre ridiculous,â you said, shaking your head.
âCâmon, you gotta admit itâs funny,â he said, his grin widening. âShe tries to turn on the charm, and bam! Instant ratification.â
You groaned at the pun, but laughter bubbled up anyway. Satoruâs dumb humor always had a way of disarming you.
âHeyyyyyyyy!â A voice dragged out, and you were met with a flash of dark blue hair before you were hugged tightly. âI heard your exam went great, but then, of course it did.â She patted your head. âWell done.â
âThanks, Utahime.â
âNo need to thank me,â Utahime pulled out your favourite chips from her bag and handed them to you.
âHey, nothing for me?â Satoru wailed.
âWho the fuck are you?â âRude.â
She ignored him and turned back to you. âAnyway, did you see any of the new exchange students? Theyâre good-looking.â
âSo?â You munched on your chips.
âSo,â she said loudly, shooing Satoru off to sit in his place next to you, âwe can finally get you a boyfriend.â
Satoru snorted. âBoyfriend? Why does she need a boyfriend?â
âAnd,â she stepped on his foot with her heel and he skipped away across the courtyard, foot in his hand and muttering curses under his breath. âThereâs that prodigy guy. You two could have been academic rivals if he was in your grade. Ugh, this is so annoying. Couldnât he repeat a few classes? Dumbass.â
âUh, Iâm not interesââ âYes, you are,â she looked at you with a wide, crazy smile as if daring you to disagree, and you gulped.âNo wasting time watching couples break up,â she pointed at the girl in front of you, whose boyfriend seemed to have heard of the real reason she messed up her spell. Utahime lifted you by one arm and practically flew the yards to reach the main hall, where your assembly would take place to welcome the exchange students.
The assembly hall buzzed with anticipation, the crowd of students shifting restlessly as they filled the rows of wooden benches. Your arm still ached from Utahime dragging you all the way here. You, on the other hand, couldnât help but feel drainedâphysically and emotionally.
The morningâs drama was still fresh in your mind, particularly the girlâs humiliating display. The idea of someone so brazenly cozying up to Satoru still gnawed at you. And now, you had to sit through an assembly to greet some mysterious prodigies who probably thought they were better than everyone else. Perfect.
âSit here,â Utahime ordered, pointing to a spot near the front. âI need a good view.â
âOf what?â you asked, dropping onto the bench with a huff.
âDuh, the new guys. Maybe one of them will be your destined academic rival-slash-love interest,â she said dramatically, clasping her hands like a cheesy romance novel heroine.
You rolled your eyes. âIâm fine without one, thanks.â
âOh, donât be boring,â she said, plopping down beside you. âYou need some excitement in your life. Besides, I heard some of the new guys are supposed to be really good-looking,â she whispered, leaning in as if discussing a conspiracy theory involving the Monarchy of Mars. âLike, model good-looking.â
You let out a noncommittal hum, tracing the edge of the seat in front of you with a finger. Utahime nudged you. âDonât you care? Come on, arenât you curious?â
âNot really,â you lied.
Utahime rolled her eyes, clearly unimpressed. âSure, sure. But if someone walks in here looking like a movie star, donât say I didnât warn you.â
Your gaze wandered to the double doors at the front of the hall, where the new students were supposed to enter. You didnât care much about the guys. But what if there were girls? Pretty girls. The kind with perfect skin and perfect hair and that effortless grace you always seemed to lack.
Your stomach churned. Why were you even thinking about that?
You glanced at Utahime, still chattering away about rumors sheâd heard excitedly. She was bouncing slightly in her seat, her eyes scanning the room like a hawk. But you couldnât shake the thought â what if everyone thought the other girls were prettier? You could almost smell the break up stories your dozen friends would fetch for you because the new girls seemed hotter to the dung-nosed guys of your school.
âFor the next few months, I will be stuck amidst boy troubles,â you muttered, glancing across the hall. Satoru had finally joined the crowd, sauntering in late as usual. He spotted you almost immediately and shot you a wink before sliding into a seat with Geto and Shoko.
Your stomach did an involuntary flip, but you shoved the feeling down. He was just being Satoru like always. Thatâs all it was.
Right?
The headmasterâs booming voice filled the hall. âWelcome, students, to this yearâs exchange program orientation!â
The crowd settled as the headmaster launched into a long-winded speech about tradition, excellence, and the importance of collaboration between kingdoms. You zoned out almost immediately, your eyes drifting back to Satoru.
He was whispering something to Geto, who smirked and nudged him in the ribs. Shoko looked utterly disinterested, flipping through a medical journal sheâd smuggled in. Typical.
You pulled your eyes away from them. The last time you had zoned out in class because of him, your mood had been soured for the whole following hour. The sound of applause gave you an excuse out of your reverie. The exchange students were being introduced now, stepping onto the stage one by one. They were all polished, confident, and, admittedly, quite impressive.
Utahime elbowed you sharply. âLook at that one!â she hissed, nodding toward a tall boy with striking blond hair and piercing brown eyes.
You blinked. âLooks like he walked out of a painting.â
âExactly,â she said, smirking. âHeâs perfect for you.â
You groaned. âCan we not do this right now?â
Utahime ignored you entirely, listing off reasons why heâd make a great boyfriend: âSmart, handsome, probably good at magicââ
âDefinitely better at cactus transfiguration,â you muttered, earning a snort of laughter from her.
Meanwhile, Satoru had twisted around in his seat, craning his neck to see what the commotion was about. When his eyes landed on you and Utahime, his expression soured slightly. He didnât like being left out, and it was written all over his face.
âWhoâs better at cactus transfiguration?â He suddenly appeared behind you.
âNone of your business,â Utahime shot back, sticking her tongue out.
âWow, mature,â Satoru deadpanned.
The assembly droned on, with each exchange student introducing themselves in turn. You tried to pay attention, really, but your mind kept wandering. Utahimeâs ridiculous matchmaking schemes. Satoruâs infuriatingly perfect smile. The girlâs earlier meltdown. It was all swirling together into a chaotic mess of emotions you didnât have the energy to untangle.
Finally, the headmaster wrapped up his speech with a flourish. âLetâs give our guests a warm welcome!â he declared, prompting another round of applause.
As the crowd began to disperse, Utahime grabbed your arm again. âCome on, letâs go talk to him!â
âTo who?â you asked, bewildered. âThe blond-haired guy, obviously!â
âAbsolutely not,â you said, digging your heels into the ground.
But before you could argue further, a familiar voice interrupted.
âLeaving without saying hi? Rude.â
You turned to find Satoru standing behind you still, his trademark grin firmly in place.
Utahime groaned. âGo away, Gojo.â
âCanât. Iâm here to rescue my friend from your matchmaking madness,â he said, draping an arm over your shoulder.
You tried to shrug him off, but he held on tight, his presence annoyingly comforting.
âWhy do you care?â Utahime shot back.
Satoruâs grin widened, but his tone was surprisingly serious. âBecause she doesnât need some random guy when sheâs got me.â
He tugged you away, leaving Utahime fuming in his wake.
âThanks for the save,â you mumbled once you were out of earshot.
âAnytime,â Satoru said lightly, though there was an edge to his voice you couldnât quite place. âAnd besides, didnât want you to end up with an annoying motherââ
You raised an eyebrow at him. Did he forget he was in a royal school where all the students and teachers were high-class nobles and the mere mention of vocabulary outside of the poshed-up ones exclusively for the rich would make him an infamous wreck in everyoneâs eyes?
He caught your eye and continued, ââtrucker.â
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The dining table was as extravagant as ever, its polished surface reflecting the golden glow of the chandelier overhead. Plates were neatly arranged, and bowls of steaming food were placed in a perfect line down the centre. Mother sat at the head of the table, her posture so upright it made your back ache just looking at her. Across from her sat Father, whose stern expression was an almost permanent fixture at meals.
You occupied your usual spot, tucked between Satoru and his mother, a position that felt both safe and stifling. Satoru, of course, lounged in his chair as if it were a throne, pushing peas around his plate with one chopstick, clearly uninterested in the discussion at hand. It was peaceful and calm. But as soon as Satoruâs father set down his chopsticks, you knew this tranquillity wouldnât last.
âSatoru,â his father began.
Satoru didnât even look up, lazily poking at his food. âUh oh. Here we go.â
âDonât start,â his mother said sharply, and Satoru sighed dramatically, dropping his chopsticks like they were too heavy to hold.
âFine. What is it this time? Did someone see me napping in class? Because, for the record, I was listening with my eyes closed.â
âYour instructor tells me your theoretical scores are excellent, as expected,â Satoruâs mother began, her sharp gaze sweeping across the table to land on him. âBut your duel with Suguru during last weekâs practice was... undisciplined.â
Satoru shrugged, not bothering to look up. âItâs not my fault Suguru got cocky.â
His fatherâs goblet hit the plate with a sharp clink. âAnd whose fault is it that you refuse to follow proper form? Youâre not dueling for fun, Satoru. These exercises are meant to sharpen your skills for real combat.â
You could feel the tension grow, so you instinctively focused on the rice in your bowl. Satoru, however, leaned back in his chair, completely unfazed.
âReal combat isnât about sticking to the rulebook,â he said lazily, resting an arm on the back of your chair. âItâs about adaptability.â
âThat is not an excuse to showboat,â his mother snapped. âYou might think youâre untouchable, but arrogance will get you killed one day.â
For a brief moment, something flickered in his eyes â irritation, maybe, or defiance â but he masked it with a grin. âNot likely.â
âOnly because youâre naturally talented,â his mother interjected coldly. âTalent will only carry you so far, Satoru. You lack discipline, respect, andââ
âManners,â his father finished, glaring at him.
His mother pinched the bridge of her nose. âAll weâre trying to make you understand is, this isnât a joke, Satoru. Youâre supposed to be the strongest, and yet youâre constantly underperforming. Meanwhile, look at her.â She gestured to you, and your heart sank.
âOh no,â you muttered under your breath.
âLook at her,â his mother repeated. âTop marks in every subject, excellent dueling reports, and the teachers canât stop praising. Why canât you be more like her?â
Satoru threw up his hands. âBecause sheâs a robot! Have you seen her handwriting? Itâs terrifying!â
âI just have neat handwriting,â you mumbled defensively.
âNeat? Itâs like a calligraphy competition on every page,â Satoru said, jabbing a chopstick at you. âShe probably practices writing spells for fun.â
âSheâs perfect,â his father said firmly, as if it were an unshakable fact of the universe.
âExactly my point!ïżœïżœïżœ Satoru exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. âHow am I supposed to compete with that?!â
âYouâve been doing wonderfully,â his mother interrupted warmly, and you almost choked on your water. She reached to kiss your forehead and you felt fuzzy all over.
âReally?â you said hopefully.
âYes,â his father agreed, nodding. âWeâre very impressed with your progress. And your last dueling performance was flawless. Keep it up.â
Satoruâs jaw dropped. âWhat? Thatâs it? No lecture about being even better? No existential guilt trip?â
âShe doesnât need one,â his mother said simply.
âSheâs already self-motivated,â his father added.
Satoru gawked at them, then at you. âWait, are you seriously not going to roast her? Not even a little?â
His mother held up a hand to silence the banter. âEnough. Weâre not here to discuss her. Weâre here to discuss you and your inability to take anything seriously.â
âI take plenty of things seriously!â Satoru protested.
âName one,â his father challenged.
Satoru opened his mouth, paused, then pointed to you. âHer.â
You nearly choked on your rice. âWhat?!â
âSee? I take her academic success very seriously,â he continued smoothly. âSheâs basically my tutor at this point. Without her, Iâd probably be failing food transfiguration.â
âFood transfiguration is not the metric for success,â his father said dryly, but his lips twitched like he was trying not to laugh.
âAnd yet, itâs a class!â Satoru shot back. âA class I pass, thanks to her.â
You groaned, burying your face in your hands. âPlease stop talking.â
âNever,â Satoru said cheerfully, ruffling your hair like you were a pet.
The room went silent for a beat, and then his father muttered, âPass the rice.â
You couldnât help but snort, quickly covering your mouth to stifle your laughter. Satoruâs grin widened, clearly taking your reaction as a victory.
âIâm serious about the food transfiguration, though,â he whispered to you as the conversation shifted. âYou saved me from flunking that one.â
âBy telling you to stop turning the chicken into a dinosaur?â you whispered back, rolling your eyes.
âExactly. Genius advice.â Satoru sighed, slumping dramatically. "I swear, if I werenât so charming, Iâd be useless."
âYou are,â you replied, teasing him with a grin.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The foreign exchange students filed into the classroom. You hadnât met any of them yet, but the instant you saw a giggling pack of girls, dressed in a way that clearly screamed âIâm a tourist, please give me attention,â take seats scattered around the room, you knew this would be a long class. They were chatting loudly, condescending smiles on their faces and prissy postures to back it up. One of them locked eyes with you and stood up.
The girl scanned the room, perhaps trying to find something to shift the attention of the bustling and noisy class to her. Sitting beside you, Geto didnât even flinch as the girl cleared her throat loudly. You could feel it. She was about to open her mouth.
And open it she did.
âDo you guys feel,â she addressed her fellow exchange people, âthat the culture here is a bit⊠Well, I donât know what you'd call it. Primitive, I guess? Itâs like they just dug it up from some ancient ruins," she said, waving a hand dismissively, as if she were talking about a dusty artefact. âThis wholeâ uhmâ âhonourâ thing? So outdated. I didnât find any such codes on how to behave in the culture of the South, or the West, or the South-West. Maybe it is because the people here still need to be taught manners, I suppose.â
The other students, contrary to what she had hoped, didnât pay any attention to her. They didnât seem to have heard her, because if they had⊠well, all of them were from noble clans, of course they would have a problem with it.
The girl didnât seem to notice. Or care.
âYou there!â She screeched at you, coming to a halt in front of your desk after pacing around like she was delivering an important lecture. âI heard youâre the top student. Representative, or something, they told me. Likeââ she turned to face you more directly, suddenly noticing the lack of a surname on your badge ââwow, you donât even have a last name. I heard you were from the Gojo clan. But, I mean, you donât even have their surname? Were you picked up from some ditch or something?â
You flushed. Most of the students were tactful enough to not point that out to you, and if they did, they would return with a bruise soon after, credit to Satoru. But Satoru was in the hospital wing right now, and thankfully so, because you didnât want him making a scene here in the middle of your Charms class. Getoâs fingers brushed lightly against your arm; he was trying to calm you down. He didnât need to say anything; you already knew what he was thinking.
Shoko, sitting in front of you, shifted in her seat. Her fingers twitched toward her coat pocket, and you could swear you felt a chill run down your spine at the look she had on her face. Shokoâs glare was murderous, and her hand slowly moved to her doctorâs tools â just a few inches away from hurling them at the girlâs smug face.
âDonât bother,â Geto murmured under his breath. âLet her go on. Sheâs not worth the energy.â His eyes never left you as he spoke, a detached smile tugging at the corners of his lips. âIgnore her, Shoko.â
The girl leaned on your desk as you continued to determinedly stare at a spot on your notebook
âOh, but wait,â she continued haughtily, âyou mustâve been a mistake. I mean, the Gojo clan leaders, right? They couldnât possibly have any sense of judgement, could they? Considering who their son is, who heâs raised by. They probably just took in anyone, huh? Just to fill the numbers. I bet they didnât even care to see if you had any real worth.â
âYou donât know what youâre talking about,â Geto interrupted her calmly, his smile widening, a maddenned look in his eyes. âIf you donât stop right now, you might have to deal with a curse or two, because Iâm not exactly one to be afraid of duelling in front of teachers.â
Alina was unfazed, leaning back in her chair with a smirk plastered across her face. âOh, I so do. You canât silence me. The Gojo clan is only famous because they have money and influence â nothing more.â She leaned forward again, her eyes narrowing. âAnd the leaders? Theyâre a joke. All that power, and they still let their precious son â whatâs his name? Satoru? âplay around like the child he is. Tell me, do you ever wonder if heâs actually good for anything besides being the âchosen one?â Or is it just another piece of their precious familyâs empire?â
No.
That was it.
You snapped. Your body moved before your brain could catch up. Pulling out your wand from your pocket, you let the cold tip touch her throat. The girl immediately shut up, caught off guard and not having the time to reach her own wand, which was kept on the table her friends were sitting at.
âWhatâs wrong? Canât speak? Iâd love to hear more from that croak of a voice you possess. Please, go on with your pathetic guesses about my lineage.â
âDonât,â Geto warned, but you were too blinded by the ringing echo of her words about your family. Shoko was already gripping the side of her desk, looking like she wanted to step in.
âYou want me to speak more?â The girl said. âI can speak more. Because I know what you are. I would have felt sorry for you if you werenât so stuck up though. As they say, no power, no future.â
Before you could retort, or even say a quick charm to freeze her throat so it snapped in half, the door flew open, and a voice interrupted your anger.
"Both of you, in my office. Now."
It was the teacher, standing in the doorway, arms crossed, clearly fed up. Without missing a beat, you spun on your heel, flicking a glance at Geto and Shoko.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
It was oddly quiet in the headmasterâs office. You sat alone at the desk, gloves pulled snug over your hands, a rag in one and a half-polished trophy in the other. The cleaning did little to distract you from the frustration you felt.
The headmasterâs words still rang in your ears: âDetention builds character, and perhaps a lesson in self-control will serve you well.â
Self-control. As if it was your fault someone had insulted your family.
The soft creak of the door interrupted your thoughts. You stilled, expecting the headmaster to return and scold you for slacking off. Instead, a familiar white head of hair peeked around the doorframe.
"What theâ" you hissed. "Are you insane? If someone catches you hereâ"
âWow. You, of all people, getting detention?â
Satoru leaned casually against the doorframe, his arms crossed and a lazy smirk on his face.
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked, your voice sharper than you intended.
âCame to pick you up,â he said, holding his hands up in mock surrender. âKuro was freaking out because he didnât know why we werenât at the gates, so I told him to head home without us.â
âYou didnât have toââ
âRelax. Heâs used to me pulling stuff like this.â Satoru strolled into the room, glancing around with mild interest before his eyes landed on the pile of trophies waiting to be polished. âSo... whatâs the story? Did you finally snap and hex someone?â
You rolled your eyes, turning back to the trophy in front of you. âShouldnât you be hiding somewhere? I mean, youâre not supposed to be here after school.â
âOh, Iâm cutting it. I figured detention with you would be more fun.â
You ignored him, hoping heâd get bored and leave, but Satoru was never one to take a hint. He perched on the edge of the desk beside you.
âCome on,â he said, nudging your arm lightly. âTell me what happened.â
You bit the inside of your cheek, refusing to look at him. âNothing. Just... a disagreement.â
âA disagreement?â he repeated, raising an eyebrow. âThatâs all youâre giving me?â
You stayed silent, scrubbing furiously at a nonexistent smudge on the trophy. But your hands were shaking slightly, and he noticed.
His teasing expression softened. âHey,â he said quietly, leaning closer and nuzzling your hair. âWhatâs wrong?â
âNothingâs wrong,â you said quickly, but the crack in your voice betrayed you. You cursed under your breath, setting the trophy down harder than you intended.
âRight,â Satoru said dryly. âYou know lying is a sin, right?â
Before you could stop him, he reached out and plucked the rag from your hand. You opened your mouth to protest, but he cut you off with a firm look.
âEnough,â he said, tossing the rag onto the desk. He grabbed your hands, tugging the gloves off gently, his touch warm and steady against your cold fingers.
âSatoru, what are youââ
âHelping,â he said simply.
You stared at him, your breath hitching slightly as he held your hands in his. His grip was firm but gentle, his thumbs brushing over your knuckles.
âYou shouldnât have done it,â he said after a moment, his voice quieter now. âGotten detention, I mean.â
Your throat tightened, and you looked away. âI didnât even do much. I just threatened her, âs allââ
âI know,â he said. âBut you didnât have to stand up for me like that.â
âYes, I did.â The words came out sharper than you intended, but you didnât care. âShe had no right to talk about your family like that. Or mine,â you added quietly.
Satoruâs expression softened, and he sighed, letting go of your hands only to pull you into a hug. Your breath stopped. It was so sudden and unexpected, but his arms around you were so warm and secure, and for a moment, you forgot just how cold the office was.
âThank you,â he murmured against your hair. âFor putting us first.â
You swallowed hard, your face pressed against his shoulder. You could feel his heartbeat. His vanilla scent filled your nostrils, and you couldnât help but sigh at the sensation.
Just what were you feeling?
He leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head. The gesture was so gentle, so unexpected, that it sent a shiver down your spine. Goosebumps prickled along your arms, and your breath caught in your throat. Eyes widening on his chest.
Satoru pulled back slightly, his hands still resting lightly on your shoulders. He studied your face for a moment, his gaze searching, before giving you a small, crooked smile.
âAlright there?â he asked softly.
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. His smile widened, and he gave your shoulders a reassuring squeeze before stepping back.
âGood,â he said, picking up your gloves and the rag you had abandoned. âBecause I think itâs my turn to polish these things. Youâve done enough.â
You blinked at him, confused. âYou canât justââ
âToo late.â He waved the rag dramatically, grinning. âGo sit down and relax. Perfect students need to take a break to be imperfect once in a while.â
Despite yourself, a smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âYeah, yeah.â He waved you off, already humming to himself as he began scrubbing.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
You sat with your detention homework in your garden after the headmaster had insisted on giving you some more âpunishmentsâ for letting Satoru in his office. On the stone bench, you glared at the crumpled detention slip in your hands. The words from earlier still rang in your ears.
Wow, you donât even have a last name. I heard you were from the Gojo clan. But, I mean, you donât even have their surname? Were you picked up from some ditch or something?
You must've been a mistake
The nerve of that girl, whatever her name was. She had no right to talk like that. But as much as you hated to admit it, her words dug deep. Why didnât you have the surname? Why were you even here?
You sighed, staring down at your hands, throwing the slip away and watching it skid between bushes. The gate creaked, pulling you from your thoughts. Satoruâs mother stepped into the garden. She always seemed to know when something was wrong.
She smiled warmly as she approached. âTrouble at school?â
You let out a small huff, tossing the detention homework onto the bench. âSome girl decided to remind me I donât belong here,â you muttered. âSheâs not wrong. I mean, I donât even have your family name. Iâm just... here.â
Her expression softened, and she sat down beside you. âSuguru told me it was someone from the Kamo clan. She said that, did she?â
You nodded. âShe made it sound like Iâm just some random stray you all picked up out of pity.â
A shadow flickered across her face, but she stayed silent for a moment, as if weighing her words carefully. Then she sighed softly and folded her hands neatly in her lap. âYou donât carry the Gojo surname yet because... you arenât meant to. One day, you will.â
You were confused. âOne day? What are you talking about?â
Her gaze softened further, and she reached for your hand. âYouâre not here because of pity. Youâre here because I care for you deeply. Youâre family to me. And... well, youâre engaged, my dear. To Satoru.â
The words hit you like a thunderclap. âEngaged?â you whispered.
She nodded gently. âIt was my decision. Not to strengthen ties or fulfill some tradition â I couldnât bear the thought of marrying you off to anyone else. Youâre important to me, and to this family. No one else would cherish you the way you deserve. No one else would love you the way I know he can.â
Your head was spinning. Engaged? To Satoru? The same Satoru who stole your dessert, teased you relentlessly, and drove you up the wall with his arrogance?
âDoes he know?â you managed to ask.
A small, amused smile tugged at her lips. âNot yet. Iâm waiting for the right time to tell him. You know how he is â heâd probably react with some ridiculous joke or dismiss it entirely without thinking it through.â
You groaned, burying your face in your hands. âYou mean Iâm supposed to sit on this bombshell while heâs running around like an overgrown child?â
She chuckled softly, reaching over to pat your shoulder. âItâs not so bad. Youâve already grown close to him, havenât you?â
Close. You couldnât deny it. In the past few years, you had gone from tolerating his antics to â well, something. The butterflies in your stomach betrayed you every time he smiled or stood too close.
But this? This was too much.
âWhy didnât you tell me sooner?â you asked weakly, peeking through your fingers.
âI wanted you to have time to figure out your feelings without the weight of this hanging over you,â she admitted. âAnd... I wasnât entirely sure when youâd be ready to hear it. But seeing you upset, questioning your place here, I couldnât keep it from you any longer. Forgive me, darling.â She stood then. âYouâre exactly where youâre meant to be,â she said gently. âNever let anyone make you doubt that.â
And with that, she disappeared back into the house, leaving you alone with the truth.
Engaged. To Satoru.
The butterflies in your stomach werenât just fluttering nowâthey were staging a full-on rebellion. You let out a groan, slumping back against the bench.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
Over a year had passed. The two of you were turning seventeen the next year, and with the increase in your age, the load of schoolwork increased too. The School of Royalty had seen so many changes. They were rebuilding the duelling grounds and organising even more clubs than before. Girls were mysteriously beginning to drop out of school, and you didnât want to know why. There were less than ten girls in your class of fifty, and you figured this number would reduce even more as women in nobility were hurriedly married off to distant kingdoms, forced to give up their education to serve as a showpiece for the men to flaunt.
You were thankful the Gojo clan saw you as more than that, or you wouldnât have been in the same class as your friends this year. You couldnât bear not seeing Utahime, Shoko, Suguru and of course, Satoru.
Satoru.
The one you had realized you didnât want if he wasnât looking at you at all times, if he wasnât talking to you at all times, or cracking jokes to you at all times. The one you had realized you wanted more of, more than what the two of you are now, more than what you two have ever been, more than friends, more than best friends; you wanted him more than anything in the world. Him, him, him, him. You wanted his eyes on you, his hands on you. You wanted everything about him. Everything. Every single thingâ
âHey, you alive?â His voice snapped you back to reality.
âHuh? Oh yeah.â
âI was saying,â he pulled a girl towards him by her hands and she landed on his chest with a dull thump. âThis is Alina.â
You stared at her. Triumphant looking face, lips giggling into the broad layer of his front.
Wait.Wasnât sheâ?
âYou might remember her,â Satoru pressed. You did. Vividly.
Oh.
âShe needs some duelling practice apparently, so sheâs gonna be watching us from there,â he points at the stands. âHope you donât mind.â
âOh, yeah, itâs okay,â you said in a voice you didnât know you owned. The words felt so heavy on your tongue, as if it was an entirely different person speaking them.Â
âGreat, thanks,â he ushered the girl back to the stands and leaned down to kiss the top of your forehead again. You blinked.
Oh, no, he didnât see it like that at all.To him, it was just a gesture he had grown used to doing. Yeah.
You stood across from him on the training field, your stance ready and tense. The sunlight was bright today, almost too bright, and you didnât know if it was the heat or the sudden emptiness you felt. Satoru smiled at you, but it didnât quite reach his eyes.
âYou ready?â he asked, voice nonchalant. It wasnât the usual teasing edge. The spark was missing.
You nodded.
âIâve got you today, Gojo,â you tried making the dumb jokes he used to make. You werenât sure if it was working, but you tried anyway.
The sparring session started, but something felt wrong. Satoruâs movements were slower than usual, his focus elsewhere. He kept glancing at the stands from time to time, as if trying to see if she was watching him. He didnât block your attack in time, letting you knock him down with ease.
âYou alright?â You bent down to help him up, but he just waved you off, a tight smile on his face.
âYeah, yeah. Just⊠tired, I guess,â he shrugged, avoiding your eyes.
Alina came running down the stands, her hands clutched on her chest, fussing over him while he waved her off too, getting up.
âAnother one?â âNo, thank you.â
That was the first time you had ever said no to him.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
Later that week, you walked into the cafeteria, hoping to find Utahime and grab a quick meal before your History class. You were halfway into the queue before you realized Utahime had Charms class right now. After all, she was a senior of yours; she would have more schoolwork than you. So you were about to take the tray you got to one of the empty tables alone, hoping to find someone else.
And you did find someone. Satoru sat across from Alina as comfortable as ever. They looked like they were on a date. Was this why he had skipped a class he had with you?
âOh, hey,â he greeted you when you approached, but his voice lacked its usual warmth. There was a coolness in it, like he wasnât really there.
The girlâs voice broke into the silence, bright and too eager. âI was just telling Satoru about how Iâm finally starting to get the hang of wand control now. I know heâs been busy with other stuff, but heâs still managed to help me out.â
You felt the hairs on your neck prickle.
âThat's great,â you said, keeping your tone neutral. âI'm sure Satoru is happy to help.â
You tried to keep your expression even as you sat down on their table. Wrong choice. Satoru, oblivious or indifferent, didnât seem to notice any sort of tension in the air. He smiled, nodding along to whatever the girl was saying, while you forced a smile and picked at your food.
You felt like an outsider.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
That same week, after a banquet of the noble families held at the Gojo clanâs immaculate residence, you were walking alone towards the girlsâ dorms when you overheard two voices seemingly arguing calmly. You pressed an ear onto the door hiding the people.
âYou donât seem to realize your Alina is the same girl who was insulting your own family,â Suguru was saying. âShe got us into trouble too. You werenât there so you donât know how bad she talked aboutââ
âI know sheâs not like how she was before,â Satoru interrupted loudly. âAnd I know you guys still have a problem with her, but youâve got to trust me, okay? Sheâs changed.â
Your heart sank. âChanged?â Suguru repeated bitterly. âReally? After everything she said about the Gojo clan?â
He didnât reply right away, but when he finally spoke, it was with that soft, almost apologetic tone.
âI get it. I really do. But sheâs⊠trying, okay? Sheâs not the same person.â
You clenched your jaw, your hands trembling slightly at your sides. You felt numb all over. Uprooting one leg from your position, you walked backwards, away from your heartbreak.
âI donât know if I can believe that, Satoru. Not after everything she did.â âI know, but please. Try, for me?â
Your back hit the pillar and you stopped. Slowly lifting feet one after the other, you walked. You didnât know where you were walking to, but you just walked. You didnât know what hurt more: the fact that he was asking you to trust her, or the fact that you wanted to â because you trusted him so much.
âThere you are!â Utahime caught up to you. âWhere did you go? How can you get lost in your own houseââ You lifted your face up to her, and she looked taken aback. She inhaled, wiping tears you never realized started falling after stinging your eyes so bad, and she asked in an uncharacteristically soft voice. âBaby, whatâs wrong?â
âUtahimeââ your voice broke.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
You were walking down the school halls, your mind preoccupied with your own thoughts as you made your way to the classroom. The noise of chatter and the shuffle of students faded into the background, making you realize you were starting to zone out again. You seemed to do that a lot these days.
âAnd I just know it will be you!â Alinaâs voice cut through, syrupy, too sweet to be sincere. You froze, stopping behind a pillar. They were standing conveniently near the same path you had to cross to get to your class. Great. Now you had to bite back any snide remarks you had because poor Satoru would be upset if you didnât.
You peeked out. Alina was leaning against the wall, her laughter light and airy as she spoke to Satoru, who was right beside her, looking at her with that familiar, careless smile he used to reserve for you, one that you had now grown to hate.
You could hear her complimenting him, the way she laughed too loudly at every word of his. âOh, Satoru, your technique today was amazing, as always! I honestly donât know just how you do it.â Her tone was sugary, and you cringed. You wanted to look away, but something held you in place, as if some invisible force was gripping you to that spot, making you watch the scene in front of you with red eyes and darkness underneath them.
Then you heard his voice. âCome on, Alina, youâre making me blush,â he chuckled playfully. He was oblivious, as usual (or maybe he wasnât, and he truly trusted this woman more than his friends). But you werenât. You noticed how her hands lingered on his arm a little too long, how her fingers curled around his sleeve possessively.
You couldnât breathe.
You turned, hoping to slip past unnoticed, but of course, she caught sight of you. There was a flicker of something dark in her eyes before she forced a smile onto her face, calling out in that voice that made your skin crawl.
âOh, hey!â she chirped, calling out your name. âYou donât mind sharing, do you?â
The words hit you like a slap. You were caught between disbelief and anger. How dare she speak to you like that? You glanced at Satoru, hoping he would interject, but he didnât. He was too busy focusing his attention on her like a complete idiot.
You looked down at the floor, clenching your teeth. âYou can have him,â you muttered. You didnât want to show her how much it hurt, but it was all too clear in your voice and actions.
Alinaâs smile faltered for a split second, her eyes narrowing. âOh, are you sure?â she said, âIâm sure Satoru wouldnât mind at all. Heâs such a generous guy.â
You could hear her subtle challenge, the way she was almost daring you to react. But you didnât give her the satisfaction. Instead, you straightened up, forcing the words out with a calmness you didnât feel.
âIâm sure,â you said simply. Not waiting for a response, you turned on your heel and walked away as quickly as you could, your heart pounding in your chest.
Behind you, you could feel her eyes on your back, but you refused to turn around.
You hated her. You hated the way she acted so confident. You hated how she was so entitled. And you hated how Satoru, in all his charm and glory, refused to hear a word against her; how he couldnât see the way she was trying to wedge herself between not only the two of you but also your entire friend group.
It was always this way, wasnât it? The more you wanted him, the farther he seemed to slip out of reach.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
After a three hour long soak in your bathtub, you decided it was time to go back into your room without anyone noticing. You spent most of your time hiding away from everyone; your parents, your servants, and him anyway, so you doubted anyone would miss you. With a sigh, you wore your nightdress and pushed your bedroom door open.
Satoru was sitting on your bed, his chin in his palms as he stared at the floor, clearly deep in thought and waiting for you to return. The moment you walked in, his gaze snapped to you, and the tension in the room tripled.
âYouâre back,â he said. There was something in his voice â you couldnât point out what exactly it was, but you didnât like how it made you feel.
âWhat are you doing in my room?â The words came out harsher than you had intended them to be.
He didnât answer right away; just sighed heavily, rubbing a hand over his face before standing up and facing you fully. âWhy are you always so mean to her?â His voice was quieter now, more frustrated than usual.
You blinked, taken aback. "Mean to whom?" you asked, trying to play dumb.
âAlina,â he said. âWhy do you always treat her like that?â
You controlled the urge to roll your eyes, though you knew Satoru expected you to. You wanted to scream, but you held it back, just barely. âOh, you mean the girl whoâs been constantly hovering around you? The one who acts like she owns you?â You crossed your arms defensively. âSorry, I didnât realize I was supposed to cheer her on and clap for every little thing she does.â
Satoru scoffed, taking his face in his hands before looking up again. âYou donât have to be so cold all the time! Canât you just try to get along with her? Sheâs changed. Why canât you just see that?â
âChanged?â You couldnât stop yourself from laughing at his innocence. âSheâs the same girl who insulted your family. She insulted everything you stand for, everything you care about, and you think sheâs changed? Are you seriously that blind?â
His eyes darkened, and he gritted his teeth. âYouâre always so hung up on the past! Why canât you just move on?â
You shot him a look, disbelief swirling in your chest. âMove on?â Your voice was shaking with the effort of holding back everything you wanted to say. âWhy is it that youâre the only person who sees that she has changed? Why is it that everyone else around you swears she hasnât?â
Satoru didnât respond right away. Then, he took a deep breath in, as if it was taking every bone in his body to control his emotions to hit you at that very moment. âWhy do you care so much? Why canât you just give her a chance?â he asked, almost pleading with you.
You stared at him for a moment too long. âBecause,â you bit back, âSheâs using you. And youâre too caught up in your own world to even see it.â
He took a step toward you, voice rising now. âThatâs not true! Sheâs not using me! Sheââ
You threw your hands up in frustration. âYou donât get it, do you?â You were shouting now. âShe is using you, Satoru! And Iâm the one whoâs supposed to stand here and watch while you defend her? While you act like sheâs some saint whoâs done nothing wrong?â
Satoruâs patience snapped, and his expression hardened. He couldnât stand anymore of you making assumptions about her anymore. âYou donât even belong in this house! Why do you think you have a say in anything Iâm doing? Youâre not even part of this!â He took a step toward you, his eyes dark with anger, a final insult.
The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, you couldnât breathe. The blood drained from your face as everything came crashing down around you.
âOh,â was all you managed to say, your voice barely a whisper as your eyes filled with tears. You couldnât speak. You couldnât even look at him. You felt your heart shatter into a thousand pieces in your chest.
Satoruâs expression faltered, but it was too late now.
âLeave,â you whispered through gritted teeth.
He hesitated for a second, looking like he wanted to say something more. But he didnât. With a sharp breath, he turned and walked toward the door.
The second the door slammed shut behind him, you collapsed onto your bed, your hands clutching at the sheets as sobs wracked your body. You cried harder than you ever had before â louder, deeper, until you felt like you couldnât breathe. Your chest ached with every gasp, every sob, the pain of his words echoing in your mind.
You donât even belong in this house!
He was right.
You donât even have their surname? Were you picked up from some ditch?
She was right.
It is the spawn of Satan himself!
They were all right, all absolutely right, werenât they?
Come with me, daughter.
It was a lie.
You know I wonât leave you.
Lie.
She doesnât need some random guy when sheâs got me.
Lie, lie, lie!
You know lying is a sin, right?
You clutched your chest hard. You didnât know how long you cried, but when the tears finally stopped, all that remained was emptiness. A hollow space where something you had always held onto seemed to disappear.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
âWhat are you doing here?â you asked coldly.
He shrugged, his usual smirk flickering to life. âJust passing by.â
âPassing by my room?â you shot back, though your voice was devoid of any emotion.
He rubbed the back of his neck, looking almost sheepish. âMaybe⊠I wanted to talk.â
âWhat do you want?â
He hesitated, just for a moment, before forcing a laugh. âI donât know. How are the studies? Still out to prove youâre the best in the room?â
Your expression didnât change, and the awkwardness between you grew even more.
âAlso,â he chuckled nervously, âwhat did you say to Utahime? I was almost killed thrice in the last two days.â
âIf you donât have anything important to say, Gojo, move.â You stepped past him, unlocking your door. You had begun locking it since the incident that night, to avoid him sneaking in when you were away and to avoid anyone walking in on you bawling your eyes out, trying to drown the repetitive voices in your head with theories about spells and charms.
âWhy are you being like this?â His voice stopped you. He paused, watching you fiddle with the lock, clearly taking the hesitating actions as a cue to continue. âLike⊠like you donât care.â His eyes finally met yours, and for a moment, they werenât the Satoru you knew. There was no smugness, no teasing â just guilt.
You bit the inside of your cheek to keep your voice steady. âYouâre imagining things,â you said, pushing the door open.
âAm I?â His tone sharpened, and he took a step closer. âYouâve been avoiding me for weeks. You wonât even look at me.â
âMaybe I have nothing to say to you,â you replied, turning to him to see his expression one last time before sorrow overtook your senses again.
His shoulders were stiffened, and for the first time this night, he couldnât meet your gaze.
âThatâs what I thought,â you said, your voice quieter now. âYou know exactly why, Satoru. You just donât want to admit it.â
He ran a hand through his hair, his frustration evident. âI didnât mean it,â he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
âGoodnight, Satoru,â you said, slamming the door in his face before he could say anything else.
The silence that followed was deafening, and on the other side of the door, he lingered. You waited, holding your breath as you leaned against the wood, but no sound came.
And just like that, the distance between you grew wider.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
Your school year was nearing the end, and summer was around the corner. The days before that had been a blur. You had avoided Satoru like the plague, throwing yourself deeper into your books and classes. Even your classmates had noticed the change, though none dared to bring it up to your face.
Except for Shoko.
âAre you okay?â she asked one afternoon, cornering you in the library.
âIâm fine,â you lied, not looking up from your Curses: A Guide to Identify the Weakness book.
âNo, youâre not.â She pulled up a chair, crossing her arms as she stared at you. âYouâre avoiding him, heâs avoiding everyone, and the rest of us are stuck in the middle of whatever this is.â
âI donât know what youâre talking about,â you said flatly.
She groaned, leaning back in her chair. âYouâre lucky this is me and not Utahime. Just so you know, he sent a message.â
That caught your attention. Slowly, you closed your book and looked at her. âWhat message?â
âHe said heâs done with Alina,â Shoko said softly. âSaid he wouldnât talk to her anymore.â
âWhy are you telling me this?â you asked quietly.
âBecause,â Shoko said, standing up, âyouâre both being stupid. And Iâm sick of watching my friends tear themselves apart over something that could be fixed with one honest conversation.â
âHonest conversation?â you repeated bitterly. âWhatâs there to say? He made his priorities clear, Shoko.â
âDid he?â She raised an eyebrow, leaning closer. âOr did you just decide that for him because youâre too scared to hear what he actually thinks?â
Your jaw tightened. âYou werenât there, Shoko. You didnât hear the things he said.â
âYouâre right, I wasnât. But Iâve seen how miserable heâs been these past few weeks,â she countered. âHe wonât say it, but heâs been beating himself up about it. He knows he messed up.â
âAnd what about me?!â you snapped, your voice harsher than you intended. âIâm supposed to just forget everything? Pretend like I wasnât the one he hurt?â
Shoko sighed, her expression softening. âNo. But youâre not giving him a chance to make it right. Heâs been trying to talk to you â hell, he even took all the hits heroically when Utahime nearly ripped him apart.â
You blinked, caught off guard. âUtahime â what?â
âOh, yeah,â Shoko said. âShe had a few choice words for him. Mightâve included running him over by her carriage horses. Not my place to repeat them, but letâs just say she wasnât thrilled with how he handled things.â
Despite yourself, a small, bitter smile tugged at your lips. âGood for her.â
âLook,â Shoko said, softening her tone again, âyou donât have to forgive him right away. But at least talk to him. Heâs done with Alina, and itâs obvious youâre not over him. Donât let this thing between you two fester any longer.â
You stared at her for a long moment, her words sinking in despite the stubborn walls youâd built around yourself. âIâll think about it,â you said finally.
âGood,â Shoko said with a satisfied nod. âJust⊠donât take too long. Weâre not kids forever, you know.â
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The knock on Satoruâs bedroom door felt louder than you intended. You had rehearsed this moment in your mind a dozen times already. What were you supposed to say again?
Hey. Itâs me. Haha.
No no no. Hey, how have you been?
No, ugh. Hey, nice weather?
Still, when the door opened and his bright blue eyes met yours, every word you had prepared seemed to vanish. The two of you only stared at each other, he in surprise and you in embarrassment.
âHey,â he said, trying to break the silence.
âHey,â you replied, your voice barely above a whisper.
The silence stretched between you for a moment before he stepped aside, gesturing for you to come in. You did, though your fingers fidgeted nervously at your sides.
The room looked messy. The bedsheets were sprawled around as if he had been tossing and turning all night earlier. The curtains were closed so the room was in utter darkness. Yet, you needed no amount of light to see the look of sleep-deprivation he carried on his face.
Was it because of you? Because you had acted this way? Was it because he was regretting what he said to you earlier (he should, a voice in your head said, but you pushed it away)? Or was he failing his classes again? His stream was different from yours so you couldnât meet him in school either. Or was it perhaps because ofâ
âI wasââ you both started at the same time, cutting each other off awkwardly.
You let out a breathy laugh, and for the first time in weeks, his lips pulled upward, a glimmer of the boy you knew. âYou first,â he offered, stepping closer.
âI was going to say that IâŠâ Your words faltered as he reached for your hand. His fingers, warm and tentative, brushed yours before interlocking gently. âOh. Wow.â He smiled at you, pulling you closer to kiss the top of your head. âI missed this,â you admitted finally, your voice breaking slightly.
âIâm sorry,â he said immediately, softer than you had expected him to be. âFor everything. For being such aââ
A sudden knock interrupted him, and a servantâs voice called from the hall. âYoung Master, Miss â Madam requests your presence in the meeting room immediately.â
Satoru groaned under his breath, but you let go of his hand, smiling as well now. âWeâll talk later,â you murmured, turning to leave.
The Gojo clanâs meeting room was one thing, but the Gojo familyâs meeting room felt even more imposing. High ceilings, ornate woodwork, and an air of superiority â that was the only way anyone could describe it. Mother and Father sat at the head of the low table, their expressions unreadable.
âYouâre here,â his father said. He gestured for you and Satoru to sit, and you did, sitting in a formal position with your hands on your knees, feet touching the soft pillow under you. His mother only nodded at both of you. âWeâve received an invitation from the Kamo Clan.â
Kamo Clan? You had read about a legend of theirs in your history class. A man who had dropped himself to the bottom of the hells indulging with curses to create powerful heirs. The Kamo Clan had an awful reputation â ancient, powerful, and, if rumours were to be believed, sinister.
Beside you, you felt Satoru stiffen, and whisper only one word.
âAlina?â
Of course! How could you have forgotten that? The girl who had been plaguing your school ever since she set foot in it was Kamo Alina. Suddenly, what his father said didnât matter anymore. The way his mother was staring between you and him didnât matter anymore. What was about to happen in his room that time didnât matter.
âThe banquet,â Satoruâs father continued, and it took a lot of effort from you to keep listening, âis an exclusive gathering of noble families from across the globe. It will take place in the south, and attendance is mandatory for representatives of our house.â
You gathered the courage to steal a glance at Satoruâs expression. The look on his face was enough to tell you he wasnât surprised by the connection. He knew. He had known it all this time. Your hands curled into fists under the table, your nails biting into your palms, probably leaving marks too.
His motherâs voice said coolly. âPrepare yourselves. Youâll leave at the end of the week. Dismissed.â
You didnât wait for Satoru as you stood abruptly, your pillow gliding across the floor. You made your way back to your room, trying not to look back at his face, but you didnât make it far before he caught up with you.
âWait!â He grabbed your arm, spinning you around to face him. âItâs not what you think.â
You yanked your arm free, glaring at him. âItâs not what I think? Really, Gojo? Because I think you lied to me.â
âI didnâtââ
âYou said you werenât in contact with her!â you snapped.
âIâm not! This isnât me â itâs her family. Theyâre the onesââ
âOh, so her family conveniently sends in an invitation to us to attend their stupid gathering at somehow the right time?â
âI donât know? Look,â He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, not at you, no, but at that darn family. âI told you, Iâm not in contact with her. That is the truth. I havenât spoken to her sinceââ
âSince when?â you interrupted, stepping closer. âSince you told Shoko you were done? Or since you got caught? Because it feels like right now, Iâm finding out the actual truth.â
âThat is not the truth, please just listââ
âStop,â you cut him off. You had had enough. âItâs okay. I donât know why you think I even care. I âdonât belong hereâ, remember?â
âThatâs not what I meant!â he shouted, his voice echoing in the empty hallway.
You stepped back, shaking your head with a sigh. âDonât follow me.â
âPlease,â he pleaded, his voice softer now, desperate. But you didnât look back as you turned and headed for the courtyard, away from him and his stupid, stupid noble traditions.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The journey to the Southern estate was agonisingly long, but then again, you were from the East, and crossing entire landmarks took more than weeks by unruly waters. After the travel on the Gojo estateâs huge ship, your family was met with a stout, snotty man representing the Kamo clan, in charge of dropping you to their estate by comfortable carriages. The carriage rocked back and forth, and the countryside unfolded before you, but you couldnât bring yourself to appreciate any of it. Your focus remained on the window, your reflection glaring back at you. Anything to avoid looking at him.
Satoru sat beside you, arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently against the carriage floor. The silence was so oppressive it practically screamed at both of you to make up already. His mother sat across from you, but her usual composed expression faltered slightly as she glanced between you and her son.
After what felt like an eternity, Satoru let out an exaggerated sigh, his head lolling back against the seat. "Are you seriously going to do this the whole trip?"
You didnât move. âDo what?â
âThis,â he said, waving a hand vaguely in your direction. âActing like I donât exist.â
âIâm not acting,â you replied coldly. âYouâre still breathing, arenât you?â
He bristled at your tone, his foot tapping faster. âWow. Real mature.â
You didnât dignify that with a response, instead shifting slightly in your seat to angle yourself even farther away from him. The silence returned, heavier now, and his mother finally cleared her throat, breaking it.
âIs everything all right?â she asked delicately, her eyes lingering on you longer.
âYes,â you answered quickly, too quickly. âEverythingâs fine.â
Her brow lifted slightly, but she said nothing, her gaze darting to her son. He sat rigid, his jaw clenched as he poked his head out of his own window, refusing to meet her eyes.
âFine,â Satoru muttered after a beat, as if to echo you. His tone was harsh, though he didnât look at either of you.
His motherâs lips pressed into a thin line, but she didnât press further. The realisation seemed to dawn on her that her carefully curated plans for her sonâs life â whatever they might be â were starting to crack at the seams.
Satoruâs foot finally stilled, but his irritation hadnât seemed to disappear yet. After another stretch of unbearable silence, he tried again, his voice softer this time. "Look, Iâm not going to apologize for something I didnât do.â
âGood thing Iâm not expecting one, then.â
He groaned, running a hand through his hair. âCan you at least try to meet me halfway here? This is ridiculous.â
You finally turned to look at him. âWhatâs ridiculous is pretending any of this matters. I shouldnât even be here, right? So why donât you justââ
âThatâs enough,â his mother cut in, her tone sharper than you had ever heard it. Her gaze pinned you both in place. âWeâre almost there. I suggest you both compose yourselves before we arrive.â
You bit the inside of your cheek, retreating back into silence, but not before catching the slight smirk on Satoruâs face. It wasnât amusement, though â it was frustration barely held in check. He didnât say another word, leaning back against the seat and staring resolutely at the ceiling as the carriage rocked along. You pressed your lips together and turned back to the window.
That was when you saw it.
The estate loomed in the distance, its dark silhouette framed against the dusky sky. It wasnât grand in the way the Gojo mansion was. No, this place had an oddly familiar air of foreboding. Its high walls and shadowed towers looked like they were whispering secrets and things long forgotten in history. The closer you got, the more a strange chill settled over you, prickling the back of your neck.
Goosebumps ran down your arms as the carriage rolled closer. The gates opened with an almost eerie slowness. There was billowing mist surrounding the entire area, and it made the scene even more creepy. You couldnât explain it, but something about this place just felt⊠wrong. It wasnât just the estateâs imposing presence or the way the evening light seemed to bend around it â it was something you couldnât place at all.
You felt like something bad, really bad was going to happen here, or perhaps had already happened. A chill ran down your spine when you recalled the pages of absolute horror you had seen attached to the restricted books in your library, and their vibes seemed to match that of this place.
Beside you, Satoru shifted uncomfortably. You glanced at him for a moment and saw that his confident facade had slipped. His eyes lingered on the estate, as if trying to figure out just what it was that made the place seem so uncanny and unreal, like it was something straight out of a horror novel.
As the carriage came to a stop, his mother stepped out first, poised as ever. She didnât seem fazed by the oppressive air of the place, but then again, she rarely showed any cracks in her demeanour.
You followed, your legs unsteady as they hit the gravel path. The chill hadnât left you, clung to your skin. Satoru came last, his usual swagger dimmed.
âRemember,â his mother murmured as the servants approached, her voice low and pointed, âappearances are everything. Do try not to embarrass the family.â
You nodded stiffly, but deep down, all you could think about was how much you wanted to leave this place. Sighing and ignoring the tremble of your gut, you held your own hands and entered the estate.
The estateâs grand entrance hall was vast, its high ceilings decorated with intricate wooden carvings that spiralled into ominous shapes. A line of servants stood on either side, their heads bowed low in synchronised precision. âWelcome to the Kamo estate,â they chanted together, their voices echoing.
A servant stepped forward, addressing Satoruâs father (and not batting an eye to his mother) with an apologetic tone. âWe regret to inform you that our â that is, the Kamo clanâs â leaders could not greet you in person. Urgent matters required their immediate attention, but they send their sincerest apologies and look forward to meeting you tomorrow.â
Satoruâs father met his wifeâs eyes, and she nodded curtly, and the servant's eyes widened as if he realised the error he made by ignoring her and addressing only the male leader in your group. âIt is of no consequence,â she replied coolly.
As the servants moved to escort you all further inside, you couldnât help but glance around. The estate was undeniably grand, but there was something cold and uninviting about it. The polished marble floors gleamed under flickering chandeliers, and the thick, musty air clung to your skin. It felt more like a mausoleum than a home.
The servants led you through endless corridors, the silence broken only by the sound of footsteps on stone. Every now and then, you passed ornate doors or shadowy alcoves, each one looking more foreboding than the last. You tried to shake the feeling of being watched, but the creeping sensation never left.
Eventually, they stopped in front of a door, and the servant gestured to it with a bow. âThis will be your room,â he said before retreating with the others.
You stepped inside hesitantly. The room was smaller, far removed from where they were escorting Satoru now, and you had a feeling his would be uncomfortably close to Alinaâs. The room was smaller, colder, and had an air of neglect, as if it hadnât been opened in years. Dust coated the surfaces, and the faint scent of damp wood lingered in the air. There were faint scratches on the walls as if someone had clawed at them long ago. The wallpaper had started peeling in places, and the furniture looked untouched, as though someone had decided only yesterday to disturb the fifteen year old cobwebs. The architecture, the layout, even the faint smell of mildew â it was unsettlingly familiar, though you couldnât quite place why.
Satoruâs mother appeared behind you. She took one look around the room, and her eyebrows twitched into a carefully concealed scowl. âWell,â she said. âThis is... quaint, to say the least.â
You turned to face her, unsure of how to respond. She gestured vaguely at the room, the bare walls, the dull, muted colours. âIf you find this unsuitable, arrangements can be made. Iâm sure a clan as proud as Kamo wouldnât want their guests to feel...â She paused, her lips curling in distaste, âuncomfortable.â
You swallowed hard, shaking your head. âNo, mother,â you said, forcing a polite smile. âThis is fine.â
Her brow arched, as though she didnât quite believe you, but she didnât press. âAs you wish,â she said softly, turning on her heel and leaving without another word.
The door closed behind her with a heavy thud, and the silence of the room enveloped you. You exhaled slowly, taking in the sparse furnishings, the musty air. You hated the idea of being a burden, but now, as you sat on the bed, watching it creak loudly, you wondered if you had made a mistake.
Late that night, you lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to get yourself to sleep.
âOne sheep, two sheep, three sheepââ
What would he be doing right now? Was he still upset?
âFuck, lost count again.â You sighed loudly. This was probably the sixth time you had tried but failed to sleep. All because of him. You closed your eyes tightly to try again.
âOne sheep, two shââ
Shit. Natureâs call.
You widened your eyes and glanced at the door, dreading the thought of stepping out into the pitch-black halls of the manor. Your room didnât even have a washroom, which seemed absurd for a house of this size and considering who it belonged to. Clenching your jaw, you tried to distract yourself from the pressure in your bladder by examining the room, but there was nothing to look at. No paintings, no books, no trinkets â just plain walls and dull furniture.
With a sigh, you finally pushed yourself up, deciding to find a maid to help you find the washroom. You lit a candelabrum sitting next to your bed to help you navigate the area. The hallway was dimly lit, the flickering lights casting eerie shadows across the walls. You tried to stay calm, but every creak of the floorboards beneath your feet made you jump.Â
You walked, and walked, and walked. The layout of the house was like a maze in itself, and every turn seemed to lead to another identical hallway. Within the span of minutes, you found yourself descending a set of stairs you didnât remember seeing before.
The air grew colder. The scent of damp stone and decay was thick in your nostrils. You paused at the bottom of the staircase, realizing with a jolt of horror that you were in what looked like the basement of the manor. The little light coming from your candles barely illuminated the space.
A wave of nausea hit you. The place smelled like dead rats, but somehow, despite your lack of sight in the room, a lot of scenes seemed to cross your mind. Shadows in the halls. Muffled screams. The overwhelming fear of being dragged into this very basement to be punished for something you couldnât understand. Your eyes caught on the walls, and you lifted your candelabrum up and stepped closer. There were faint marks carved into the stone. Tally marks. Dozens of them. Maybe hundreds.
Your hand reached out, trembling, brushing against the ridges. A flash of a memory hit you â your hand gripping a piece of stone fully covered in blood, dragging it across a surface, one line after another. But where had it been? In a classroom, on the board? No â this was something else, something darker. Your stomach twisted, and you stumbled back, the nausea overwhelming.
âMiss?â A voice shattered the silence, and you whipped around to see a maid standing at the top of the staircase. Her face was pale, her brows furrowed, as if you had offended every fibre of her body by stepping down into this basement. âWhat are you doing down here?â
You opened your mouth to answer, but no words came out. The smell of the basement, the tally marks, the scenes â they clung to you, and you could only shake your head.
âLet me escort you back to your room. You shouldnât ever be hereâ
You nodded mutely, following her up the stairs. She led you back through the winding halls. By the time you reached your room, the trembling in your legs had mostly subsided, though the chill of the basement still remained. She opened the door for you, offering a rigid nod before disappearing back into the dark hallways. You stepped inside, closing the door behind you, and exhaled shakily.
Your hands were still trembling slightly as you sat on the edge of the bed, trying to steady your breathing. The scenes â fragmented, disjointed â played on a loop in your mind. What were they? Forgotten memories? Flashbacks? The tally marks, the muffled screams. They were just like something out of your worst nightmares. You buried your face in your hands, feeling the sting of tears prickling at your eyes.
A soft knock at the door startled you. You hastily wiped your eyes, rising to your feet. When you opened it, Satoruâs mother stood there. Her expression softened slightly when she saw you.
âYouâve been crying,â she said matter-of-factly.
âIâm fine,â you said quickly, stepping aside to let her in.
She swept into the room, her gaze flickering briefly to the empty, barren space. âThis room is unacceptable,â she said bluntly. But then, as she turned to face you, something in her eyes looked gentler, almost human â something she had always carried around you. âYou should have asked for it to be changed, darling.â
You shook your head. âI didnât want to be a bother. Itâs fine, really.â
Her lips pressed into a thin line, and for a moment, she studied you. Then, to your surprise, she stepped closer, her hands resting lightly on your shoulders. âYouâre far too used to accepting the minimal,â she said quietly. âThatâs not what you deserve.â
You blinked, startled by the tenderness in her tone. Before you could respond, she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, her cool hand lingering briefly against your cheek. The gesture was so unexpected, so maternal, that your throat tightened with emotion.
âI will speak to the servants in the morning,â she said, straightening but not pulling away. âAnd if you ever feel uncomfortable â ever â you will tell me. Do you understand?â
You nodded wordlessly, unable to trust your voice.
âGood.â She adjusted the edge of your sleeve with a small, practised motion, as if tidying you was a second nature for her. âGet some rest. You look exhausted.â
She turned to leave but paused at the door, glancing back over her shoulder. âAnd whatever it is that has you so unsettled tonight... I will see to it. Do not let it weigh on your mind. The past has a way of creeping into the present, but you are stronger than it.â
The door closed softly behind her, leaving you standing in the middle of the room.
For the first time since you had arrived at the estate, you felt a sliver of comfort.
ïżœïżœâââ àšà§ ââââ
Over the next week, your efforts to blend in with the household paid off in more ways than one. Most of the maids, initially wary of you as a noble guest, had warmed up to your presence. They appreciated your willingness to help with menial tasks and often joked that you were more reliable than some of their own peers. Soon enough, their dislike for the Kamo family began to slip into their conversations.
It started one evening when you were helping two maids, Haru and Tomoko, carry water from the wells. They spoke in hushed voices, glancing around nervously as though the courtyardâs walls themselves might eavesdrop.
âIâve always said the Kamo family has skeletons in their closet,â Haru muttered. âWell, in this case, theyâre probably in the basement. Youâve seen it, havenât you?â
You nodded. âI have. Itâs disturbing. What were those tally marks on the walls?â
Tomoko sighed, setting her bucket down with a huff. âNo one really knows for sure. Some say itâs the number of people tortured down there. Others think itâs the number of people who died. Either way, nothing good ever happened in that place.â
Before you could press further, another maid, Aoi, cut in sharply. She was older, sharper, and rigid. Yet you had watched her pull the buckets back up from the walls with such brute force that it was no wonder she was still working for the clan despite her age. âEnough! You shouldnât fill her head with stories. Sheâs a noblewoman; this isnât her concern.â Her eyes avoided yours, fixed firmly on the stone path.
Haru rolled her eyes dramatically. âOh, relax, Ms Aoi. Sheâs not like the rest of them. Sheâs helped us more than half the family ever has. Why shouldnât she know whatâs really going on?â
Tomoko nodded enthusiastically. âExactly! And sheâs already seen the basement. Itâs not like weâre revealing some great hidden treasure. Besides, itâs about time someone outside this house knew what the Kamo family is really like.â
Aoi crossed her arms, her frown deepening. âAnd what good will it do her to know? The Kamo family isnât to be trifled with. Youâre putting her in danger â and yourselves, too, for that matter.â
You cut in gently, trying to defuse the tension. âI appreciate the concern, Ms Aoi, truly. But if the Kamo family has nothing to hide, then why should talking about it be dangerous?â
Haru smirked. âSee? She gets it.â
Tomoko leaned closer, her voice dropping to a near whisper. âDo you want to know what I heard? Years ago, when the punishments in the basement were still happening, the head of the house would personally oversee them. And sometimesâŠâ she trembled visibly. âSometimes, they werenât even punishing people who broke the law. Just anyone they didnât like. Servants who fell out of favour. Merchants who got on their bad side.â
Haru shuddered. âThey say the screams would echo up through the floorboards. Thatâs why most of the older staff refuse to even talk about it. Too many bad memories. There is also the ghost of that little girlââ
âThatâs enough!â Aoi snapped. âThe girl doesnât need every grisly detail.â
âOh, come on, Aoi. You hate them as much as we do. Donât act like youâre above this.â
âWhether I hate them or not is irrelevant,â Aoi huffed. âYouâre still being reckless. If anyone hears about this...â
Tomoko grinned mischievously. âAnd whoâs going to tell them? You?â
Aoi gave an exasperated sigh but said nothing.
That night, you wrote letters to Shoko and Utahime, recounting the strange conversation and the haunting basement. You might have mentioned a glimpse of Satoru, too, though your thoughts on him were far more conflicted.
Shokoâs reply was predictably blunt.
Sounds grim. Torture rooms, tally marks, mysterious deaths â real classic Kamo vibes. Maybe theyâre compensating for their familyâs lack of charm. But, you know, not my circus, not my corpses. Still, were they tortured with surgical precision? If so, let me know which tools were involved. Iâve got a scalpel set if you want to reenact it. Besides, Iâve always wanted to see how far someone could go with a bone saw and no anaesthetic. For science, of course. Stay alive. Bye.
PS: If you find any good booze down there, bring some back for me.
Utahimeâs letter was far less chill.
That two-timing bastard is probably off doing handstands to impress some girl who can't tell her right from left. Honestly, Iâm waiting for your mother to tell him the truth already. If he doesnât start acting like your fiance, Iâm going to come over there and bury him in that damn basement myself. If I had to spend more than two breaths in his company, Iâd kill him. Actually, Iâd kill him for free. Just say the word.
PS: If I didnât love you, I wouldâve told you to go into that basement again just for fun. But I do love you, so stay safe.
The Kamo clan leaders remained an enigma. Somehow, their presence was so secretive that their portraits were absent from every book and document in the library. You wondered if even the servants themselves had seen these people. âMaybe theyâre so ugly theyâre too ashamed to show their faces?â Shoko had suggested in one letter, and you still snorted remembering that.
From all your time in the estateâs library, you could only find their names â Kamo Daijiro and Kamo Akane. Creepy. You also learned they had two daughters: Alina, the eldest, and her twin who had married into another prestigious family and no longer lived at the estate.
You still hadnât caught so much as a glimpse of Daijiro or Akane, but that would change soon. A grand gathering was scheduled for the following night, and the maids were already preparing for their arrival in the estate.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The Kamo maids worked on you, dabbing floral scents to your neck and pulling a corsage on your hands. Behind you, Aoiâs hands deftly pulled at the laces of the corset you were reluctantly being tied into. Earlier, an unexpected scuffle had broken out between the Gojo clan maids and the Kamo maids when the latter had shown up, intending to tend to you.
âSheâs our priority,â one of the Gojo maids had sniffed, her arms crossed.
âNot anymore,â retorted Tomoko. âShe is living in the Kamo residence right now. Your loyalty isnât required here.â
âWell, sheâs from the Gojo clan!â snapped another maid, her tone haughty.
âYes, and?â Haru shot back. The Gojo maids had given up after a reassuring smile from you, muttering about how they are only leaving because âthe Lady asked soâ.Â
Now, Aoi was tugging the corset strings tighter. The conversation had shifted from the petty bickering of maids to something far darker.
âYou wouldnât believe the stories this house holds,â one of the younger maids murmured, a shiver in her voice. âDo you know about the little girl?â
âWhat girl?â you asked. You hadnât seen the story of any little girl mentioned in the books you had read, but you had distinctly remember a mention of her story in an earlier conversation with these maids.
âMs Aoi knows about it best!â Haru exclaimed.
Aoiâs face darkened as she let out a long sigh. âIt happened about a decade ago,â she began. âA child had appeared on the doorstep, barely an year old, mind you. The family had taken her in, but of course, they did not treat her like a daughter. They had left her in the care of us servants. I was like her mother,â she said proudly. âShe had turned three, I still remember, it was her birthday that night. She spilled a glass of expensive red wine on Lady Akaneâs dress. It wasnât even the girlâs fault. She was just a baby, carrying a tray too big for her tiny hands. But Sir Daijiro⊠he doesnât forgive mistakes.â
The other maids exchanged uneasy glances as Aoi huffed loudly, pausing her hands on your laces to wipe stray tears. âThe girl was dragged to the basement, where they lock away the disobedient. She⊠she never came out.â
Your breath caught in your throat. âShe was⊠killed?â
âYes,â whispered one of the younger maids, her voice trembling. âItâs said her ghost still lingers. Sometimes we hear her cries late at night. And the mist that hangs over the estate? They say itâs her curse â her anger at the clan.â
Aoi nodded grimly. âI was here. I wasnât much younger than I am now, but I couldnât do anything to save her. All I could do was sneak her scraps of food and try to mend her torn dresses after⊠after the punishments.â
You were horrified. âPunishments? For a child?â
Aoiâs tears couldnât be held back anymore. âShe was just a baby,â she croaked thickly. âIâd hear her cry at night, calling for her mother. And when⊠whenâŠâ Haru handed Aoi a cloth to wipe her face. âWhen she died⊠it was the moment I stopped believing the Kamo family had any humanity left.â
The room fell silent for a moment, save for the sound of Aoiâs sniffling and your shallow breathing. âHow can someone be so cruel?â you murmured.
âThatâs why weâre all so terrified,â Tomoko confessed. âIf they could do that to a child, what chance do we have? Everyone here walks on eggshells, afraid to make even the smallest mistake. The leaders havenât changed. Theyâre still the same people who let that little girl die.â
Aoiâs hands resumed their work, tying the last knot on the corset. The maids stepped back. You glanced at the mirror, seeing not just your reflection but the haunted expressions of the women around you.
The little girlâs story stuck with you, her cries echoing in your mind. If the Kamo clan could be so ruthless to a defenceless child, what horrors could they unleash on those who dared to cross them?
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The grand gathering was suffocating. The air was thick with the scent of incense and expensive perfumes, the soft hum of conversation occasionally punctuated by bursts of laughter. You had probably sent about fifty letters in all to Shoko, Utahime and even Geto asking them if they would come to the South, and they all had replied with repetitive noâs. You had tried to keep your head down, avoiding the heavy gazes of the Kamo guests. But you were glad to see that Satoru, for once, was sticking close to you, uncharacteristically quiet. He hadnât so much as glanced at Alina all evening, and perhaps even all this time during the visit if you were lucky. Not that you cared, of course.
Earlier, when you had overheard his mother asking him to keep his distance from âthat Kamo girlâ, and you remembered how he had rolled his eyes so hard you thought they would have gotten stuck.
âFine,â he had said with mock drama. âBut only because Iâm such an understanding guy. And because I want you to stop looking like youâre ready to shank me with a chopstick.â
Now, true to his word, his focus was entirely on you. Every time you caught him looking elsewhere, it was never in her direction. He had even waved off her attempts to engage him, subtly turning his back to her as though she didnât exist.
âSee?â he murmured, leaning down to your ear. âHavenât even looked her way. You believe me now, right?â
You arched a brow, unimpressed. âYou donât get points for doing the bare minimum, Gojo.â
âBare minimum?â he gasped, and you smiled a little. His response reminded you of the âold timesâ, as they were now. âThis is maximum effort for me! Have you met me?â
âHush now, both of you,â his father interrupted. âTheyâre here.â
The Kamo clan heads arrived, and the air shifted. The room quieted, all eyes turning to the doors as Daijiro and Akane Kamo entered. Their presence was magnetic, commanding. As they moved through the crowd, the guests bowed slightly, parting to make way. You moved your eyes to the carpeted floor. You didnât want to introduce yourself to someone who would torture a little girl to death, for Godâs sake.
But then curiosity overtook your senses. You had been thinking of what they would look like for ages. They were like a mystery you had been picking apart ever since you stepped foot into that basement. Now was finally the moment you would get to see the leaders who hid from newspapers, books and even their own servants. You finally looked up. And the moment you saw their faces, the world seemed to tilt.
Sharp cheekbones. Piercing eyes. Their very presence struck a chord you hadnât felt in years. Distantly, hauntingly familiarâŠ
Your parents.
âHush, little baby, everything you need is right here,â your mother cooed, and you walked to where he was leading you. âYes, thatâs it. There are your favourite snacks here, and all your favourite toys. Come on. Go there.â
But you found something else to interest you. Aoi, the maid, was standing right there, watching everything, and you wanted to walk to where she was instead of your bad mother.
âStupid girl, where are you going?â your father pushed you from behind into the basement, and you fell over its many steps. Falling, falling, falling. By the time you reached the bottom, your face felt hot with some weird liquid.
âThis is your new house â for now,â your mother said finally, walking down the steps. âYou have given me enough trouble. From the moment I was cornered in that dark alley, alone and frightened, till now â you have been nothing but trouble. You are a constant reminder of what happened to me that night. You shall die, die!â
âThere, there, now, Akie,â you watched your father cradle your motherâs head in his chest. You tilted your head, and the force almost made you fall back to the ground. âThe child will no longer remain here. I have the most secretive merchants arriving from the North to here. They will be taking this⊠thing away from us, away from you. And then you shall finally be free.â
The realisation hit like a crashing wave, pulling the air from your lungs. Your vision blurred, and your chest tightened. It was too much. Too much. It was unbearable.
Without thinking, you reached out, your trembling hand finding Satoruâs mother instead of him. Her warm, steady grasp grounded you back to reality, and she turned to you immediately in concern. She studied you for just half a second before realising something was wrong, horribly wrong.
âCome,â she said softly, guiding you out of the hall without a momentâs hesitation.
Satoruâs voice trailed behind you, confused. âWhere are youââ
âStay with your father,â his mother ordered firmly over her shoulder.
Once outside, the cool night air hit your face, and it made you realise the warm wetness flooding your cheeks and stinging at your eyes. She led you to a quiet corner of the garden, still holding you as tightly as possible.
âWhatâs wrong?â she asked gently, her eyes scanning your face. âAre you unwell?â
The words tumbled out before you could stop them. âTheyâre my parents.â
Her brow furrowed. âWho are?â
âThem.â You swallowed hard, finally breaking down. âThey! They left me. They sold me. I didnât know their names but⊠Iâve seen them. TheyâreâŠâ
Her expression shifted from confusion to horror. You looked at her face. You had never seen a look like that on her ever before. She released your hand only to pull you into a tight embrace.
âYou poor thing,â she whispered, her voice trembling. âI had no idea. But I swear to you, theyâll never hurt you again. Not while Iâm here.â
You cried on her shoulder loudly, and you could feel she was crying softly too. âWhy? Am I not worth raising⊠Mom?â She pulled back slightly, cupping your face in her hands. âWhy didnât they come back for me?â
âI donât know, and I donât care what their reasons were. You will be a Gojo soon. It is only a matter of time now. And you will forever, forever, Â be a part of our family. I will not let the Kamos stain your history, ever.â
You sniffled. From somewhere in the hall, you could hear Satoruâs loud voice, probably causing some kind of scene.
âSee?â his mother said softly, trying to distract you. âHe hasnât looked at their girl once, just like he promised. That boy might be infuriating, but when it comes to you, heâs surprisingly reliable.â
A faint smile tugged at your lips.
Satoruâs mother stood behind you. Her fingers were combing through your hair softly, as if to sooth your emotions with her caring rhythm. She adjusted your corset strings next, pulling them tighter, not harshly, but enough to make you focus on the present instead of the roaring panic threatening to take over.
Beyond the ornate doors of the gathering, voices rose and fell. You strained your ears to pick out the words, leaning slightly toward the source. And then you heard it.
A deep, booming voice. The same voice from your nightmares. The one that haunted your memories. Your breath hitched. It felt as though the walls were closing in to suffocate you.
Satoruâs motherâs hands immediately moved to your shoulders to steady you. âBreathe, darling,â she said firmly. âIâm here, am I not? You are safe.â
You nodded, though tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. âIâm trying,â you whisper, clutching the fabric of her dress tightly.
And then, the voice spoke words that made your blood run cold.
ââŠa marriage between Kamo Alina and Gojo Satoru.â
You froze. Your heart seemed to have stopped. The room seemed to have crashed down onto you. You tried to process what you had just heard. Satoruâs mother stiffened behind you, her hands pausing mid-movement.
âWhat did they just say?â you whispered.
She didnât respond, though her head tilted slightly as she listened intently to the conversation happening inside the room. You caught snippets of whispers as noble families exchanged their astonishment at the bold proposal.
Surely, Satoruâs father knows. He knows that Satoru is supposed to be engaged to you.Right?
But then you heard him speak. His voice seemed proud and approving. âAn excellent proposal, Daijiro Kamo. This alliance shall strengthen both our families. I accept.â
The words hit you like a slap. Your stomach churned, and for a moment, you thought you might be sick.
âMom?â you whispered and turned to Satoruâs mother. âWhyâŠ?â
Her lips pressed into a thin line, her eyes narrowing dangerously. âThat moron,â she hissed under her breath. Her hands fell away from your shoulders furiously. âHe didnât consult me. He didnât consult anyone except Daijiro. Of course, he didnât. Men like to think their decisions are final simply because they made them.â
The applause from the other side of the door grew louder. The sound vibrated in your ears as the nobles toasted the âunionâ. Your panic surged again. âWhat do we do?â you asked desperately.
Satoruâs mother exhaled sharply. âI shall handle it.â
When she threw the doors open roughly, the room fell silent. The silence following her entrance was not mere courtesy; it was submission. Her presence demanded it. Yet Kamo Daijiro, standing near the center with a goblet of red wine in his hand, immediately stepped forward with a smug smile. âAh, my lady Gojo,â he began, his voice filled with condescension. âI was just about to inform you of the wonderful arrangement your husband and I have come to. My daughter, Alina, willââ
âWill do nothing,â she cut him off coldly.
Daijiro blinked, clearly taken aback by the interruption. âI beg your pardon?â he said with mock-politeness.
âYou heard me,â she said, stepping further into the room. Every eye in the room was on her. âYou dare discuss an engagement for my son without consulting me?â
Daijiroâs lips curled into a patronizing smile. âWith all due respect, Lady Gojo, this is a matter for the men to decide. Your husband and I both agree that this alliance is mutually beneficial. Surely you trust your husbandâs judgment.â
She laughed humorlessly. âTrust his judgment? You think Iâm going to stand by while you play politics with my sonâs life?â
She turned to glare at her husband. Satoruâs father cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable under her piercing gaze, but Daijiro waved him off. âLady Gojo, your anger is misplaced. This is a matter of strategy. You may oversee the household, but these are decisions of power â something women cannot fully comprehend.â
The room grew deadly quiet now, and Alina seemed to have understood that what her father just said had been a mistake. Satoruâs jaw tightened at the insult at his mother, but he did not say anything yet. You were still frozen in the doorway, but you could feel that he was about to snap at any moment now.
Satoruâs motherâs eyes narrowed dangerously. âWomen cannot comprehend power?â Every word was pronounced clearly, and she took a single step closer. âYouâre standing in my authority. Under my presence. Having begged for my appearance at this folly of an event. And you think I donât comprehend power?â
âBut this is an allianceââ Daijiro started.
âAn alliance that disregards my authority,â she interrupted sharply. âAn alliance that treats my son like a pawn in your political game of blind chess,â Her eyes flicked briefly to Satoru, who watched the exchange with a furrowed brow.
The room erupted in whispers. The many noble families exchanged shocked glances. Even Satoruâs father looked uncomfortable now, though he didn't dare interrupt.
Daijiro straightened, his tone hardening. âLady Gojo, I understand you may feel... emotional about this. But this is for the good of both our families. Surely you donât mean to disrupt an agreement between two patriarchs.â
Her expression darkened further. Without breaking eye contact, she reached for a glass of wine from a nearby tray. In one swift motion, she threw it to the ground, and the crystal shattered into thousands of shards. The sound echoed in the silence.
âThe marriage is off,â she declared, her voice unwavering. âBecause Satoru already has a fiancee.â She turned and gestured to you, standing awkwardly in the doorway having followed her from outside. âMy future daughter-in-law, her.â
The room erupted into chaos. Gasps and furious whispers filled the air. Kamo Daijiroâs face turned a deep shade of red. The Kamo clan, the maids (who were standing outside, peering through the gates you left open, having not been allowed to enter the prestigious ceremony) and leaders alike, looked mortified at her words.Â
âYou cannot be serious,â Akane said through gritted teeth.
âIâve never been more serious,â she countered.
âYou have humiliated my family!â Daijiro growled, stepping closer threateningly.
At this, Satoru stood up, his sword in his hand as he placed himself between his mother and Kamo Daijiro. He tilted the weapon slightly to make sure the threat of blood was sent across to Daijiro, and blocked the way to his mother. Her eyes softened at his action, and she straightened. âThis discussion is over. Take your child and leave, Kamo. I will take mine. There is no alliance to be forged here. Gojo clan!â She called to the maids, soldiers and workers of the Gojo clan who had come along with them on the journey. âWe shall set off back home right now. Prepare.â
Daijiro stared at her with rage and humiliation. But when he glanced at the sea of judgmental eyes surrounding him, he knew he lost. With a barely concealed snarl, he turned on his heel, motioning for his family to follow.
Satoru fixed his sword back into its scabbard. His mother turned to you, softening again. She rested a hand lightly on your shoulder. âCome. We shall leave this place now, for good this time.â
She led you out of the hall, her grip steady and reassuring, even as the whispers behind you grew louder.
ââââ àšà§ ââââ
The journey back home felt strangely fast compared to the painstaking crawl southward. Perhaps it was Satoruâs motherâs fiery words that had lit a spark of patriotism among the servants, and maybe even the horses. Whatever the case, you arrived at the Gojo estate far sooner than expected.
You barely had time to set foot inside when Satoru found you. He cornered you in one of the quieter hallways. The first thing you noticed was his face; his usual, easygoing expression was clouded with something you had never seen before.
âDid you know?â he asked.
You blinked, thrown off by the abruptness. âDid I know what?â
âThat youâre my fiancee.â The words came out bitter and flat, as if he couldnât believe he was saying them aloud.
Your breath caught in your throat. You had been bracing for this conversation, but not so soon. Not like this. âYes,â you admitted after a moment.
He reeled back, as though the admission had physically struck him. âYou knew?â His voice rose, echoing off the corridor walls. âHow long? How long have you known?â
âA year,â you said hesitantly, feeling guilt rise up in your throat. âI mean⊠last year, your motherââ
âA year?â His voice cracked, and he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. âYouâve known for an entire year, and you didnât think to tell me?â
âI thought she would tell you,â you stammered. âShe said sheâd handle it.â
âWell, clearly, she didnât!â he snapped, spinning to face you again. âSo what, you were just going to wait until the wedding invitations went out?â
âThatâs not what I meant!â you shot back. âI didnât even agree to this in the first place. I was just as blindsided as you when she told me!â
âBut she did tell you, and you did know,â he repeated coldly. âAnd you didnât think I had a right to know?â
âYouâre acting like I had a choice!â you said, your voice rising to match his.
âThat doesnât excuse keeping it from me!â he shouted too. âYou and my mom â both of you â went behind my back. You made me feel like an idiot standing in that room today.â
âOh, we made you look like an idiot?â you scoffed. âWhy? Because you were actually planning to agree to her proposal? Because you wanted to marry that witch of a woman?â
His eyes widened in disbelief. âAre you serious? I barely even looked at her if I didnât have to!â
âThat was because mother had told you not to!â you countered. âDonât stand there and question me when youâve been acting like you have other options.â
âI didnât know I didnât have other options!â he shouted. âBecause no one told me! The two people I trust the most in this world, you both kept me in the dark!â
You sighed. âSatoruââ
âNo,â he cut you off. âDo you have any idea what this feels like? To know that the people you rely on the most didnât think you were worth the truth?â
âThatâs not fair,â you said softly, trying to find the right words. âI was just obeying motherââ
âObeying mother?â he laughed incredulously. âBy lying to me?â
âI didnât lie!â you snapped. âI just⊠didnât know how to tell you.â
âWell, you should have figured it out,â he said bitterly. âBecause now, all I can think about is how little I actually know about you. About us. About⊠anything.â
The air between you felt heavy, suffocating. You wanted to say something, anything to fix the look of betrayal in his eyes, but your mind was blank.
Finally, he shook his head, his voice dropping to a strained whisper. âLook⊠Iâve never thought of you that way before, okay? Youâre⊠youâre pretty, but youâre like a sister to me. Thatâs how Iâve always seen you. Nothing more. Nothing less.â
Oh. Of course.
âI need space,â he muttered, stepping back. âI need time to think.â
© chuulyssa 2024 - do not copy, plagiarize or repost my works on any platforms. do not translate.
#prince!gojo ââ â
#gojo x reader#prince!gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru#jjk satoru#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo#jjk gojo#jjk#jjk x reader#gojo x you#gojo x y/n#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo fluff#jjk x you#jjk imagines#jjk fic#gojo angst#gojo#angst#fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo fanfic#clanleader!gojo#clan leader!gojo#prince au#clan au#jjk au
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seventeen as dads headcanons
content: reader is married to svt, normative(?) family structure, literally just unhinged thoughts, not proofread lol
note: was trying to write an actual fic but then got distracted sorry, dadventeen brainrot is so real
Seungcheol
Super protective âdonât touch my familyâ dad outwardly
All of his kidsâ friends are straight up SCARED of him
But within the household he's the one sneaking ice cream when you say no, albeit guiltily
Shopping trips with him will always result in buying something for them and he is very willing to be taken advantage of
âBabe if I canât spoil them now, theyâre gonna grow up and move out before we know it!â
Tries his best to be handy around the house, but probably makes it worse, ends up calling Mingyu to come fix it
Jeonghan
DEFINITELY a âgo ask your momâ dad
This man not only powerless, he doesn't even want the power, he's just here to have a good time and if you say they can't, then sorry kiddo
You canât tell me that he doesnât bring up becoming a family prank channel at least once a week
LOVES bragging to everyone else about his kidâs achievements, cannot shut up about them to anyone in a 5 foot radius tbh
His kids definitely talk to him about everything, which is great because he is SO nosy.
Has a list of all their best friends, enemies, and crushes at school somewhere on his notes app for future reference when they come to him for advice
Joshua
The REAL practical joke dad, admittedly made them cry a few times when they were younger and felt really bad about it
Perfect sweet husband and father in image, all of his kids know heâs actually lame af
Dominates the summer barbeques, UNDISPUTED GRILLMASTER
Super dependable, will drop everything if his family needs him and never goes back on his word
Gives surprisingly good fashion advice
Jun
Definitely walks around the neighborhood with his baby in a sling carrier strapped to his front, POINTS AT EVERYTHING OF INTEREST
When they start learning how to speak he adopts all his babyâs weird mannerisms (it started off as a cute joke but then realized he couldnât stop)
Cries at every baby milestone until theyâre like 10
Will not stop bringing up embarrassing childhood moments, especially in front of their kidsâ friends/significant others
Cuts fruit for them instead of apologizing
Hoshi
Will fully ally himself with his kids
Like legit would do anything for them. ANYTHING.
Iâm talking borderline go to his kid's school to beat up their hypothetical bullies himself sort of dad
The kids can always count on him to say yes if you say no
Absolutely DEVASTATED when they grow out of the tiger stuff he buys for them and become angsty teens
âWhat do you mean tigers arenât cool? Do you not love your old man anymore?â
Wonwoo
Quiet doting dad
Definitely more affectionate when the kids are younger but gets into the awkward advice-giving stage when they grow up
LAME DAD JOKES GALORE, groaning is a regular activity in this household
Tries to google basic algebra every time his kids ask for help on math homework because he doesnât want to admit he forgot everything
Chaotic af unsupervised. âGuess weâre having pizza again tonight kiddosâ kinda dad because he cannot and should not cook
Jihoon
Another quiet dad, but make it savage
I feel like he would just love roasting his kids (affectionately of course)
And always overwhelmingly acts of service so his kids know they are loved
Allowance randomly appearing under their pillow, their favorite foods magically stocked in the fridge, always relenting to one last bedtime story no matter how tired he is
Would let you have final say but he makes it really clear heâs on their side and empathizes with them but its out of his hands
âNext time just donât get caught, okay?â *winks*
Minghao
Loves loves loves just spending time with his babies
Doesnât matter what heâs doing he just wants to be in the same room as them or cuddling and holding them
Emphasizes equality in your relationship so his kids can grow up with those values and learn to respect others
TURNS EVERYTHING INTO A LIFE LESSON OH MY GOD
Doesnât believe in allowances but will cave and literally buy them anything they want if they ask
Would rather die than miss any important event (competition, speech, recital, talent show, graduation, etc.)
Mingyu
Absolute super dad, what canât he do? Nonstop home improvement projects, cooks anything his kids are craving, offers to drive everyone everywhere
But also the whiniest dad ever lol constantly complains about people âruining his systemâ
Absolutely FUCKS at the school bake sales, earns them twice the target fundraiser amounts because he's dilf material and knows how to get the moms to spill their pockets
Likes to have the final say, but youâre both usually on the same page in regards to discipline so his kids arenât getting away with anything
Just the most supportive dad in the universe, the kids learn to never take him for granted
Seokmin
You already know his kids are gonna be spoiled rotten. He will be the favorite parent by default sorry I don't make the rules!!
His arms are the very definition of a safe space
Leaves all the discipline to you because he cannot keep a straight face when delivering a lecture (one time he made them cry and also ended up crying because he felt so bad)
Does so much embarrassing shit just to cheer his kids up when they have a bad day, acts surprised when they tell him he's cringe
Such a pushover that they are probably gonna make fun of him when they're older, but that's okay because they know there's no universe in which their dad will stop loving them
Seungkwan
As long as he can pick them up still, his kids are never on the ground for too long
Two words: SPORTS. DAD.
He could practically captain the cheerleading teams at their school with how many events he's been to
Knows all of his kidsâ friends parents, they all get together and have coffee once a month actually
Nags nonstop and complains about everything he has to do for them, but is always diligent and does it without question
Gets so pouty when they start getting embarrassed to show affection, he WILL get his cheek kisses if it's the last thing he does!!
Vernon
Chillest dad in existence?!?
Literally as long as his kids are safe he doesn't give a single fuuuuckkk
âSleepover? Yeah, call me when you're done and I'll pick you up.â
He WILL argue with you if he doesn't think there's a good reason to say no to them
So cute and encouraging to all their weird hobbies and phases throughout the years. âLemme seeâ and âReally? Show meâ are regular phrases in his vocabulary
His kids are definitely gonna inherit his legendary facial expressions afnngjdg
Chan
Super affectionate and doting, but also quite strict with them at times
âI just want the best for you, I want to see you succeedâ
HAS A PHOTO OF THEM READY AT ANY TIME, lockscreen is a different shot of his kids every day and is eager to show it off even if no one asked
Not so subtly signs his kid up for dance lessons
Just the most encouraging dad ever, makes sure that they know making mistakes are a part of life and that he will always love them no matter what
#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#i read some of these to my friends and they pointed out how aggressively american some of these were LOL
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How high on the clingy/protective scale these boys are âŠ
Dick: a solid 8.5/10.
A very clingy bean.
Dick would be attached to your hip 24/7 if he could but he couldnât answer that makes him sad.
In the wise words of @obsessedwithromance on one of my recent posts; âif Dick was a dog, heâd be a husky.â
And heâd make a very vocal husky at that with how often he whines and whinges whenever you tried to move from his grasp, acting as though every attempt in removing yourself from his arms were an attack against his character. So he will take personal offence to you wanting to leave him out in the cold and desolate place that was your bedroom. đ
âStop trying to get out of my arms.â He moans, tightening his hold on you as he buried his head into your neck, locking legs with you for extra measure. âDick, I love you but youâre being too clingy for me right now.â You reply and had just noticed the error of your ways almost immediately and were about to explain yourself but it was already too late, for you had set Dick the human husky off.
âMe? Clingy? I thought you liked it when I was clingy? Why the sudden change? What did I do wrong? Why donât you love me?â Dick began his tirade and you could only lay there and let him talk your ear off -and loudly might I add- about how you apparently didnât love him enough, which was a bunch of bullshit, but dick was too in his feelings to listen to reason. Youâll have to kiss him to shut him up, thereâs no other option.
So once heâs settled down, heâll go back to cuddling against your back,smiling dopily while you could only congratulate for a job well done at defusing the situation form getting any worse. You love your dramatic human husky and you wouldnât change anything for anyone.
Jason: 7.5/10 or a 8/10.
The only time youâre seeing this man be clingy as all hell if heâs in a particular mood and want your affection, which might as well be all the time with this man, or after a not so great nightmare.
He would wake up in a cold sweat and immediately look for you and hold you against his chest as though you were his personal teddy bear, only just until his breathing evens out and not so tense in the muscles. Until then he holds onto you tightly and familiarises himself with you in anyway that he could, whether that be counting your eyelashes, noting the different shades that make up your eyes and much more.
At least just enough to help him gain some sense of self and awareness that he was safe and sound from all harm.
Like Jaime, Jason would watch over you like a hawk as Red Hood without a shadow of a doubt, and Jason has his reasons to do so as he knows the type of people who litter the streets of Gotham at night like the back of his hand. He doesnât want to subject you to that sort of life of constant fear of having to look over your shoulder in hopes that there wasnât someone following you home.
For in his minds eye, heâs your sole protector and the one thing that stands between the scumbags of the street and you. Jason doesnât take this position heâs given himself lightly, itâs unlike him to anyway, as your safety is his top priority and heâd do anything to obtain it; whether they way itâs obtained was morally questionable or not, he doesnât care for as long as your safe, heâll live to learn with having permanent blood on his hands.
Damian: 5/10 on a good day. 2/10 in general.
Heâs not an overly clingy person. Protective? yes. Clingy? No. Itâs just not in just nature and he can be very awkward going about it too.
Damian knows he doesnât have to constantly survey you 24/7, he has more faith in you and your abilities then most. He knows that you wonât call upon him if at all when faced with a situation that you could easily resolve yourself.
However if you were to get hurt on his watch or otherwise, thatâs when he gets slightly clingy and will attempt to be within any space with you possible. Damian shows care in a completely different way than most and will more or less act like a guard dog when it came to you.
This little dude will point his sword at anyone that comes into close contact with you while glaring at them, meanwhile youâre having to push the blade of his sword down and away from the poor victim, only for Damian to raise his sword back towards their throat once more.
âPack it in.â Youâd hiss.
âNo. Youâre practically useless when hurt, so let me deal with this one.â Damian said.
You purposely ignored the fact that he had just called you useless and instead pushed the blade of his sword down until it was pointing at the floor again. âHeâs not even a threat, just a regular citizen. So you can stop it with the fear attics now.â You told him in a hushed tone. Damian meets your eyes with a glare of his own. âHow you can be certain heâs a harmless civilian? What if heâs a low life thug of an underground drug syndicate on the rise? You canât allow yourself to trust every face you meet.â He replies, not one to back down for anyone, not even you.
You sigh as you rubbed the sides of your head. âWell at least try not to cause more issue for your dad. I swear between you, Jason, Tim and Dick I donât know who gives him the most grey hairs.â
Jaime: runner up for Dickâs crown with also a 8.5/10
Heâs clingy in a sense that he fears of loosing you constantly.
Khaji-Da doesnât make the situation any better as it only encourages Jaimeâs Innate clinginess tenfold, and now Jaime canât go a couple of minutes without offering to join you on wherever your going.
He just cares about you very deeply and wouldnât know what to do with himself if heâd ever lost you despite having the ability to stop any harm from coming your way. So needless to say that you spend most of your time with him and his family is a severe understatement.
Itâs not as though he doesnât trust you, he wholeheartedly does, but that trust doesnât extend to potential outside threats. Hell, he would even go as far as to watch over you as Blue Beatle, much to the behest of literally everyone that isnât Khaji-Da because the scarab is just as clingy over you in a sense that you were Jaimeâs mate and there for should be within close proximity to him at all times.
Itâs endearing but I think itâs about time you told Kahji-Da to cool it on the whole threatening people you talked to with plans to eliminate themâŠ
#dc imagine#dc x reader#dc comics x reader#dc x you#jason todd imagine#jason todd fluff#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagines#jason todd fanfiction#dick grayson imagine#dick grayson imagines#dick grayson x reader#dick grayson fluff#dick grayson x you#damian wayne x you#damian wayne imagine#damian wayne x reader#damian wayne imagines#damian wayne fluff#jaime reyes imagines#jaime reyes x you#jaime reyes x reader#jaime reyes imagine#jaime reyes fanfiction#dc fluff#nightwing x you#nightwing fluff#nightwing imagines#nightwing imagine#nightwing x reader
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three am | csc, hjs
Pairing: Seungcheol x GNReader (afab) x Joshua
Genre: smut, angst, porn with the barest of plot, non-idol!AU
Rating: M (18+)
Warnings: slight exhibitionism, unexpected voyeurism, threesome, grinding, dirty talk, oral sex (reader receiving), p in v sex (protected), joshua and coups are lowkey sweethearts and highkey horny opportunists, jeonghan is still an asshole
Word Count: 3.5k
Disclaimers: NSFW, obviously I donât own SVT - they just inspire me
Summary: Itâs three am and your ex is nowhere to be found. But his two roommates are there for you.
A/N: Soooo... I wasn't planning on writing a sequel to two am but then someone commented "im begging a pt 2 where she sleeps with cheol or shua or both to fuck with jeonghan" and I blinked and this happened. See how powerful commenting can be??
Although this is technically a sequel, this story can be read as a standalone fic - all you need to know is that Jeonghan is reader's toxic ex, and Joshua and Seungcheol are his roommates.
Unbetaâd as usual. If you like this, please let me know! Iâd love to hear what you think (but please be kind Iâm fragile đ„ș) đ
SVT Masterlist đ Main Masterlist
This is a bad idea.
You knock hard on the door in front of you, as if the motion could knock the words out of your head, too. Theyâve been on repeat since you arrived at the building where your ex lives. Kept you company in the elevator. But despite how loud they are, youâre not listening.Â
Instead, youâre straining your ears for any sign of life inside the apartment. Youâre about to knock again when you hear footsteps.Â
They stop, and you hold your breath, waiting.Â
The door opens.Â
âYN?â Itâs Joshua, peering at you from a crack in the doorway. His soft eyes are full of confusion at the sight of you at his door at midnight. Â
âHey Shua,â you smile, calling him by the nickname you used to use, back when you practically lived here as Jeonghanâs girlfriend. âCan I come in?âÂ
âUh, sure.â The door closes and reopens as Joshua removes the chain. He steps back to allow you to slip past him. âBut, um, âHanâs not here?â
âOh.â You pause, then fish your phone out of your pocket. âBut he told me heâd be home by midnight?â
Joshua shrugs, shuffling away from the door. âI dunno when heâll be back. You can wait here if you want.â He slumps onto the couch, then gestures to the open half. âIâm just watching a movie.âÂ
You feel his eyes on you as you settle into the saggy cushions. If you looked at him right now, you know heâd be gazing at you with open pity. Itâs the same look he gives you whenever he catches you sneaking out of Jeonghanâs bedroom.Â
The movie isnât very interesting, so you scroll through your phone as you wait, trying to be patient. You hate waiting, but this is going to be worth it.Â
About 10 minutes later, though, youâre getting antsy. You clear your throat. âHey, uh, can I get something to drink?â
Joshuaâs latent host instincts stumble clumsily to life. âOh yeah, right, what do you want?â
He shuffles off to the kitchen without waiting for an answer, so you hop up to follow. He pours some Jack Daniels into his glass before adding a little cola, then gestures to a second glass heâs produced from the cupboard. âWhiskey, soda, water, thatâs pretty much all we have right now.âÂ
âUh, Iâll take the same as you.â You tap your fingers on the counter. âSo, uh, howâve you been?âÂ
Joshua shrugs. âSame as always, nothing new. I guess I canât complain but Iâd kinda like to.â He grins and hands you your drink, then taps his against yours. âGeonbae.âÂ
âWhat are we drinking to?â Seungcheolâs voice is deep and grumbly as he enters the kitchen. Jeonghanâs other roommate was obviously sleeping based not only on his timbre but also the physical state of him - shorts and hoodie rumpled, fluffy dark hair flying in different directions, eyes barely open. At least, until he realizes who you are, at which point they widen. âOh, shit, hey, YN. I didnât know⊠who was here.âÂ
âHey Cheollie.â You flash the other man a friendly smile. Youâve always liked Jeonghanâs roommates. They both seem so nice, if a little bro-y. Hard to understand how theyâre friends with Jeonghan sometimes. But then again, you once thought he was the sweetest man on the planet, so maybe your judge of character is a bit shit.
One thing you are empirically certain of, though, is that both of Jeonghanâs roommates are so, so fine. Joshua has a lithe frame thanks to his skateboarding while Seungcheolâs got a boxerâs build due to the many hours he spends in the gym. And they both have face cards that have never once in their lives declined.
âWeâre drinking to the status quo,â Joshua informs his roommate, sliding him the bottle of Jack. Seungcheol hums, already recovering from the surprise of seeing you. He knows youâre still fucking Jeonghan. Itâs just that usually when youâre here, they never actually see you.
Seongcheol lifts his cup. âKeeping it or fucking it up?âÂ
âKeeping.â Joshuaâs eyes flicker to you. Seungcheol nods.Â
You take a sip of your drink. The atmosphere in the kitchen is awkward now, both of the men exchanging glances that clearly telegraph that itâs because of you. Part of you wants to flee - but you need to wait it out, if youâre going to get what you want.Â
And fuck do you want it.Â
Joshua slinks back to the couch. Relieved for a break in the tension, you do the same. Seungcheol drops into the armchair, legs spreading, sculpted thighs catching your eye, before you avert your gaze, reaching for your phone again.
By the time the credits start to roll on the movie youâre thinking itâs time to give up. You finish your drink, setting it on the coffee table before standing. âIâm just gonnaâŠâ With that, you head for the exit. âThanks for the drink.âÂ
âSee ya,â Joshuaâs voice floats past you into the hallway as you close the door. It hangs around just as long as you do before disappearing towards the elevator.Â
Itâs Seungcheol who greets you the next week. He gives you a once-over before letting you in without a word. Vacates the apartment not long after you arrive. Joshua is on the couch again. Remembers to offer you a drink before ignoring you for a solid twenty minutes, after which you leave.Â
The third time you show up, Joshua is back at the door. Tonight the surprise in his gaze has been replaced with a knowing, and familiar, look.Â
âHeâs not here. What did he tell you this time?âÂ
âUhâŠâ Caught off guard, you blink rapidly. âHe said heâd meet me at midnight again.â Youâre a little earlier than you meant to be, too eager to make yourself sit at home much longer. Itâs a sickness, really.Â
âUh-huh. And yet, heâs not here again.â He tilts his head, waiting for you to arrive at whatever unspoken conclusion heâs reached.
âJust let them in, man.â Seungcheol raises his head on the couch, giving you a once-over before lying back down. âDonât get in their business.âÂ
âRelax, I was going to ask them in.â Joshua rolls his eyes at his roommate as you slip past him towards the empty armchair. âYou want a drink?â
He gives you a noticeably stronger pour this week, the alcohol stinging your throat with the first sip. Must be his way of sympathizing. Youâre grateful to Seungcheol for shutting down Joshuaâs burgeoning interrogation earlier. You donât require their judgment. You know exactly what youâre doing.Â
Which is why you nurse slowly at your cocktail. Both men are on their phones while a baseball game plays on the television. Youâre content to scroll on your own phone, listening mindlessly to the sound of the announcing droning in the background.Â
Joshua clears his throat. âYou know youâre wasting your time, right.â
Itâs not a question.Â
âJoshâŠâ Seungcheol intones warningly.
âIâm just saying!â Joshua turns so heâs facing you âThereâs no reason to sit here and pretend weâre not thinking it.âÂ
âIâm not thinking it,â his roommate responds, not bothering to look up from his phone as he talks. âYouâre the one thinking it. Knock it off.âÂ
âHey, if you want to pretend this isnât weird, fine. But Iâm not. Iâm calling what I see, and - â
âDude youâre making it so weird just by pointing it out! If youâd - â
âGuys.âÂ
They stop arguing and look at you. Itâs a little dizzying, honestly, having their combined full attention on you for the first time.Â
âIâm not stupid. I know heâs out with someone else.â You hold out your phone, showing the latest post from Jeonghan. As if they werenât just looking at it on their own screens.Â
âHe ghosted you. Again.âÂ
You sigh at Joshuaâs declaration. He only presses on.Â
âIf you hadnât seen that photo, how long would you have kept waiting? Another fifteen minutes? Half an hour?â
âDamn, what do you want from them?â Seungcheol finally sits up, giving his roommate a look. Heâs imposing without even trying to be, his frame towering over Joshuaâs as he sits on the floor.Â
Joshua doesnât back down, not concerned in the least. âI want to know what they want!â He suddenly gets up, taking a seat on the corner of the couch next to your armchair. You quirk an eyebrow at him when he takes your hand, holding it gently between his. âYN. What is it you really want?âÂ
âWhat is - what are you doing?â You wiggle your hand free from his grip. His concern is somehow touching and condescending at the same time.Â
âIâm asking you an honest question. I donât get it.â Joshua snorts. âThereâs no way Jeonghanâs dick is that amazing. Why do you keep coming back when he treats you like shit?âÂ
You have no answer for that, because you donât understand it yourself. Why canât you stay away?Â
âYN, you donât have to answer that.â Seungcheol scoots down the couch so heâs closer to you, close enough for you to breathe in the spicy warmth of his cologne. âBut look, I agree with Joshua on one thing. Jeonghanâs being a total asshole to you. You donât deserve that.â
âRight,â you laugh, sarcasm slipping into your tone, âI forgot. You think Iâd remember that by now, given how many times I hear it.â Or at least you used to, back before your friends gave up on convincing you of the truth of that statement.Â
Seungcheol examines you with a quiet intensity that makes your heart jump in your chest. âIâm serious,â he finally says. âAlways thought you were too good for him.â
Joshua doesnât give you the time necessary to unpack that weight before heâs adding to it. âMe too.â
âYou both⊠thatâs - thatâs sweet of you to say.â You draw in a deep breath. âBut I donât need your pity. I donât want it.â
Joshua shakes his head. âItâs not pity, itâsâŠâ he trails off, shoulders lifting helplessly. âI donât know. It makes me mad. Why is he out there when heâs got you waiting for him here? Doesnât he know any other guy would kill to have you show up at their door?!â
His eyes are wide and honest as he speaks, but thereâs something else burning there, something that makes your stomach swoop. Itâs in Seungcheolâs gaze too as he nods along in agreement with his friendâs words.
âOkayâŠâ you glance away, giggling nervously.
âNo, donât do that,â Joshua says, straightening up, tone serious. âDonât laugh me off.â
Thereâs a palpable shift in the mood of the room. An air of frustration tinges everything being said. It makes you squirm a little, and you can tell the other two are feeling it too as Joshua continues.
âYou donât need him. You never did, but you especially donât now.â He pauses. âAnd also⊠ah, fuck, nevermind.â
You feel like youâve been hanging on his every word. He canât stop now. âWhat?â
âI was gonna - I was gonna say - â Joshuaâs gaze lingers on his roommate for a moment. âFuck, itâs gonna be more awkward now, but - oh, fuck it.â His eyes meet yours again. âIf youâre here to get fucked, that can still happen.â
You think you hear Seungcheol curse under his breath, but you canât break eye contact with Joshua right now. Thereâs an unusual ferocity in his expression that has your breath hitching in your chest.
After a quiet moment, you speak. âYouâre sayingâŠâ Seungcheol doesnât react as your gaze bounces to him, then back to Joshua. âYou wanna fuck me?â
âYeah.â
Again you can't stop yourself from looking at Seungcheol. Of the two, heâs always been the more difficult one to read. Now is no exception. Youâd love to know whatâs going on behind those dark eyes of his. All youâve got to go on is the slight furrowing of his brow. Does he think Joshuaâs out of line?Â
âI-I donât know what to say.â
Joshua shrugs. âYou donât have to say anything. Iâm just letting you know, Iâm more than happy to give you what you came here for.â
âI never said that was why Iâm here.â
âYN. Come on. We all know.â
âIâm down too.â
Seungcheol chuckles as you and Joshua snap your heads to look at him.
âWhat? Iâm just letting you know, too.â
Joshua mumbles something that ends in âhypocrite,â and gives his roommate a challenging stare. It feels like someone kicked the dial up on the tension in the room. You nibble thoughtfully on your bottom lip, practically tasting it, lit up with a new energy.Â
âSo you⊠both⊠wanna fuck me.â
The longer your sentence lingers out there, the quicker your heart beats. But youâre not about to speak first.
Joshua opens his mouth but Seungcheol cuts him off mid-inhale. âItâll only be weird if you make it weird.â
Itâs not weird. Itâs the most youâve been turned on in ages, sitting with your back to Seungcheolâs chest, both of your legs spread so Joshua can lie between them and eat you out as heâd so kindly offered. That sweet smile of his turns cocky as he easily mouth fucks you into an orgasm, your clit fluttering fast as a hummingbirdâs wings.Â
Thereâs only the briefest of discussions about who you want to fuck you first. Youâre thinking it over - something tells you that Seungcheol is a ride youâll need to work yourself up to - when says he doesnât mind watching if you want Joshua to go first, and you quickly agree. Joshuaâs not about to disagree, so you start to shift, to move away from Seungcheol, but he stops you with a strong arm around your waist.Â
âStay here,â he murmurs, lips pressing against the side of your neck. âWanna feel you fall apart.â
Seungcheolâs other hand has found your clit and is circling lightly. It has you lifting your hips shamelessly, openly seeking more pleasure. You whimper Seungcheolâs name with a shudder, then Joshuaâs with surprise when his hands wrap around your thighs and push them up into your stomach.
âYou donât have to move, youâre perfect just like this,â Joshua informs you, and the hunger in his eyes makes you clench in anticipation. âAbsolutely perfect.âÂ
The head of his cock slides into you, just a little, before Joshua pulls back, then thrusts in again. He does this again, and again, going deeper, until your hips are flush. He moves with such gentleness at first, making sure youâre comfortable, that heâs not hurting you in any way. When he knows youâre ready, his hand cups your face, and he kisses you, tongue gliding into your mouth as he slowly strokes into your tight walls.Â
ââShua!â Somehow his name gets past your tongue and his. You reach for him, fingernails digging into his back, not to hurt, just to hold.
âJust like this,â he groans, the hand on your cheek drifting, pausing at your throat for a moment before brushing over your breast, palm rubbing your nipple roughly enough to elicit a loud whine. âThatâs it. Let us hear you, gorgeous.âÂ
âWe hear you with him ,â Seungcheol says, casually confirming what youâve always known. The rhythmic rolling of your hips into Seungcheolâs groin has your ass rubbing his hard cock. He grips your waist tighter, teeth grazing your earlobe. âI always thought I could make you scream louder.â
âGuess w-weâll find out,â you stammer, words trembling into breathiness, because itâs hard to talk while Joshua has you bouncing on his cock. Seungcheol hums, placing his thumb under your chin, tilting your face to his for a kiss.Â
âGet back here,â Joshua murmurs, raspy voiced and flushed as he nudges his lips into your cheek, knocking Seungcheol away from your mouth. You giggle into Joshua's kiss, while Seungcheol mutters a few low threats against his roommate directly into your ear, all hot breath and low grumbles. A loud creak sounds, and you wonder if Seungcheolâs bed might not be able to handle all this.
Joshua breaks away to glance over your shoulder at Seungcheol. Whatever he sees makes him smirk, and he leans towards you again, lips brushing yours.Â
Seungcheol whispers, âHold on,â and then he slides down the bed until heâs flat on his back. He brings you with him as Joshua straddles his thighs so he can follow, thrusting back into you without a momentâs delay. The swiftness of their movements makes you gasp, has you writhing in desperation against Seungcheol as he spreads your legs, holding them open for Joshua to fuck you harder, faster. You cry with every snap of his hips until itâs practically one long wail.Â
âLet it all out, gorgeous,â Joshua urges as he stares down at you from beneath sweaty bangs. He dips his thumb past your parted lips into your mouth, and you instinctively flick your tongue over it before he drags it down to your clit. âLet us hear that sweet voice.âÂ
âYeah,â Seungcheol huffs, humping wildly against your ass, his hands so hot on your thighs, keeping your knees spread open like butterfly wings. âDonât be shy now.âÂ
Youâre not shy at all, sandwiched tightly between the two men, sobbing both their names as your wave crests. Joshua grunts and then he stills as he fills the condom he wears. Thereâs no sound from Seungcheol, no sudden movements or wetness on your back that lead you to believe heâs also climaxed, and this is confirmed when Joshua finally pulls out and you have the space to move.Â
âI said I didnât mind waiting,â Seungcheol informs you as you eye his big cock again, noting how darkened it is, precum dripping down the shaft. Youâre not quite sure you believe him, but it doesnât matter. Whether or not itâs about to blow, youâre getting on that rocket.Â
But before you attempt that challenge -Â
âI think I need some water.âÂ
Joshua merely hums. Heâs flopped onto his back, and you canât tell from this angle if his eyes are even open.Â
Seungcheol starts to rise. âI can grab you a b-â
âNo, thatâs okay,â you cut him off, placing your hands on his shoulders to pull him back to the bed. âI should, um, pee, too. Before weâŠâÂ
Seungcheol hesitates, glancing at Joshua, and they exchange a mysterious look before he nods, returning to his spot on the bed. Itâs a little chilly, so you grab Joshuaâs hoodie and Seungcheolâs shorts and throw them on before darting out into the hallway and into the bathroom.Â
You down a glass of water at the sink, staring at yourself in the mirror. Your reflection looks proud. It only took three attempts but you did it. In retrospect, it was surprisingly easy to manipulate your exâs roommates into a threesome. You just had to play up your patheticness - maybe you should feel a little insulted that the guys bought it so easily, but who cares, it worked. All you need now is a photo or video, to send to Jeonghan the next time he texts. Then your plan will be complete.
Your hand is on Joshuaâs door knob when you hear a loud creak. Jeonghanâs door opens.
âI thought I heard your voice.âÂ
You jump, glaring at your ex. âFuck, you scared me!âÂ
âHaving fun in there? Sounded like you were.âÂ
Vaguely, you remember the loud noise youâd heard earlier while you were with Joshua and Seungcheol. That mustâve been Jeonghan getting home.Â
Jeonghan leans against his door frame, arms crossing while he takes in your outfit, recognition sweeping over his face. Anger simmers in your gut, stoked by the annoyance you feel at him for scaring you.Â
There goes your plan. Although, maybe this will be more funâŠ.
âYes, I was,â you reply with a grin. Jeonghan scowls, turning away. âNot that itâs any of your fucking business.âÂ
He laughs sourly, pushing himself off the wall to crowd into your space, blocking Joshuaâs door. âYou tell yourself that, baby.â He brushes his finger along your cheek, and you shudder. âBut it is my business. Because youâll always be mine.âÂ
Itâs sick, how you want to agree, his sultry voice hypnotizing you like it always does. He drops his hand to your hip, pulling you to him as he kisses you. His lips demand that you yield to him. But not this time. This time, youâre going to resist.Â
âI havenât been yours for a long time, Jeonghan. I just havenât acted like it.â With two hands on his chest, you push Jeonghan away,Â
âOh, right, but you are now?â He scoffs, rolling his eyes. âFucking my roommates to prove the point?âÂ
You shrug. âDid it work?âÂ
âItâs gonna take more than that to hurt me, baby,â he huffs, but when his eyes meet yours, you catch a brief glimpse of uncertainty beneath the smug expression he wears.Â
Thatâs all you need - that tiny moment of doubt. Youâve got him right where you want him. You step into Jeonghanâs embrace again and kiss him gently. It surprises him, shakes his composure a little, and you slip past him, reaching for Joshuaâs door with a sweet smile.
âIf you insist.âÂ
If you liked this fic, please consider reblogging! Likes do not help it get seen by other readers. đ
© 2024 by minisugakoobies. Crossposted to AO3. Please do not copy or repost. I do not allow translations of my work.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen smut#svt#seventeen x reader#seventeen fanfic#svt x reader#svt fanfic#svt smut#svt imagines#svt scenarios#joshua smut#joshua x reader#scoups x reader#scoups smut#seungcheol smut#seungcheol x reader#joshua#seungcheol#thediamondlifenetwork
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Roll for a Feedism ChallengeÂ
Feedee Edition!
Roll a d20 to get your challenge for the day
Original poster cute-feedism-things
1. Breakfast stuffing: get a dozen donuts and eat every last one (if it's Krispy Kreme make it 18).Â
2. Worth the weight: hop on the scale and take a picture of the number. Do it again at the end of the day. Share the results (and impress whoever you share it with)
3. Moisturize Me: get comfy, get naked, and get in touch with your body as you slowly lotion every inch of yourself.
4.Consequences: for every 200 steps you take today you need to eat 1000 calories. Be mindful of how much you're moving your body.
5. Planks: set a timer for 3 minutes and get in plank position. Every time you have to pause the timer for a break is another 500 calories you need to eat today (make it 1000 if you're under 200 pounds).Â
6. Pizza party: get a large pizza and finish the whole thing (make it 2 if you get thin crust)
7.Low Hanging Fruit: Get on all fours and take a picture. Show someone how low your belly is hanging these days.
8. Self care day: get comfy and surround yourself with your favorite snacks. Relax today and graze while doing all your favorite low effort activities.
9. Probable pounds: Roll 2d4. You need to weigh that much more (in pounds) before you stop eating tonight.
10. Empty calories: get at least 2500 calories from drinks today (you're probably going to want a milkshake or 2).
11. Extra large thighs⊠I mean fries: treat yourself to your favorite fast food and make sure it's over 5000 calories (it's okay if that means you need to treat yourself for 2 meals, you deserve it)
12. Find your max: count calories and stuff yourself until you physically can't anymore. That's your max. If you've already done this once, make sure to beat your last score.
13. Quiet contemplation: turn off all media and set a timer for 10 minutes. I want you to lay down, get comfy, close your eyes and just spend this time exploring your body. Has it gotten bigger? Softer? Where do you feel most sensitive?
14. Touch yourself while you stuff yourself: get in touch with your hedonistic side by masturbating while you eat. Don't cum until you've had at least 2000 calories.
15. The best shape you'll ever be in: do as many situps or pushups (your choice) as you can. Subtract that number from 20 and then multiply by 500. That's your calorie goal for today (if it's a negative, multiply by -1 and add 2000 calories)
16.Just Desserts: in addition to your normal meals today, you're going to eat at least 2500 calories of desserts.Â
17. Cupcake game: find your favorite piece of feedist porn/fic/etc. Every time you start getting turned on, eat a cupcake. No touching yourself until you've finished all of them. (This works best with longer stories/videos)
18.This still fits: put on your tightest clothes that still âfitâ (you can actually get them on your body) and take a picture from whatever angle makes you look fattest. Post it if you feel comfy or share with someone privately.
19. It's about the process: cook your favorite recipe and eat the whole thing for one meal. The dishes can be future-youâs problem. Just enjoy yourself for now.
20. Double trouble: Roll 2 more times and do both!
Let the games begin
Wanna play a game đ
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*.ËËË DEILD- The Quickest And Easiest Method To Lucid Dream That I know ÂŽËË.*
Listennnn, I love the lucid dream method down. It is AND ALWAYS WILL BE my favorite way to shift, apart from the void state.
BUT I know I cannot be the only one struggling to get lucidđ©đ At least I used to struggle before I found DEILD. I found other techniques tedious, having to do constant reality checks during the day felt like a chore and lying completely still in bed for 30+ minutes waiting for my body to fall asleep was quite literally torture to me. IF I could stay awake through it because most times I couldnât or just rolled over and gave up because nothing was happening and I was trĂšs uncomfortable.
Iâve tried mild, SSILD, fild, ALL THE âILDSâ every single one and while they are effective, Iâve finally found the technique that works best for me and takes the least amount of time so I thought I would share, just in case it may help someone else!
With this technique youâŠ..
Go from being awake directly into a lucid dream without falling asleep (this is called a wake initiated lucid dream and in my experience I feel more aware and in control with these vs when I randomly become aware in the middle of my dream. They are also easier to remember if you have poor dream recall. )
Are able to start the lucid dream scene in the privacy of your own room so you donât have to worry about trying to shift in the middle of distracting dream scenes or dealing with distracting dream characters
You can save a Lucid dream thatâs been cut short or even have several lucid dreams in one night using this method
Donât need to do reality checks during the day if you donât want to or do any other daytime prep
The whole thing takes 10-30 seconds START TO FINISH!
The techniqueâŠ
*.ËËË DEILD ÂŽËË.*
Dream Exit Initiated Lucid dream
StepsâŠ
Before bed set the intention that when you wake up you will immediately remember to perform DEILD
Set a touchless alarm to wake you up anywhere from 3-6 hours after falling asleep. I like this one! Maybe put it in a playlist with a lucid dreaming subliminal or theta waves set to play after the alarm goes off to boost your chances of becoming Lucidđ
Go to bed as normal. As I fall asleep I like to imagine myself waking up to the alarm and successfully performing DEILD. Then I imagine myself successfully entering the void from the LD and then successfully waking up in my wr. I loop this sequence until I fall asleep. I do this to help me remember to do the technique the second I wake up, but it is not at all necessary.
Immediately upon waking and hearing the alarm, I try to remember to stay still and not open my eyes. Minimal movement is fine, but weâre trying to convince our body that weâre still asleep! The alarm will shut off on its own.
Wait for what feels like 10 seconds without actually counting (Again, you donât want to activate your Brain and wake yourself up too much )
After it feels like 10 seconds have gone by, do a reality check like the nose pinch test EVEN IF YOU FEEL WIDE AWAKE and donât think you could possibly already be back asleep in only 10 seconds. Most of the time youâll already be in what is called a false awakening-when you think youâre awake in bed but youâre actually dreaming
If you were able to breathe through your closed nose you are now in a lucid dream starting out in your room. You can proceed to shift to your dr in any way you like-some of my go toâs are:
-creating a portal
-entering the void and shifting from there
-entering the astral realm and shifting from there
-waking myself up from the dream but intending to wake up in my dr not my cr
Editors note:
If when you do the nose pinch test, you are still awake, repeat step 6 up to 2 more times. If by this point, you still have not entered a lucid dream, it is best to go back to bed and try again the next time you wake up. This method is very effective but fragile, as it is best performed in that very small hypnopompic window right when you are teetering on the edge of awake and asleep.
Why this method worksâŠ
When you wake up from sleep and donât move or open your eyes, it tricks your body into thinking that youâre still asleep and it puts you back in a dream, even though your mind is actually awake! This is why a touchless alarm is helpful, or you can use natural awakenings.
Troubleshooting the methodâŠ
The hardest part about this method is remembering to stay still as soon as you wake up.
You can set the intention to remember to do so before bed
You can also use prospective memory training during the day (every time you look in a mirror/ drink something/ plug in your phone/ enter a different room etc you can affirm âthe next time I wake up I will immediately remember to perform DEILDâ )
And if you move by mistake or have to use an alarm that needs manually turned off, all is not necessarily lost. itâs still worth trying anyway as long as you think youâll be able to fall back asleep! Just wait 30 seconds instead of 10 before doing a reality check and consider using an anchor to help keep you focused and awake (could be focusing on the sound of the subliminal if you made a playlist, or the sound of a fan etc)
TLDR OF THE TECHNIQUE:
Wake up either naturally or to a touch-less alarm. If you must use a manual alarm, keep movement minimal as to not activate your brain too much.
Lie still with your eyes closed and keep a blank mind for 10-30 seconds
Do a reality check to see if you are lucid dreaming
Shift from the lucid dream
Videos explaining the techniqueâŠ.
âUse this simple technique for more lucid dreams. Please.â -Tiger123
âLucid dreaming techniques shouldnât be this easy!â - Daniel Love
âDream exit induced lucid dreams-DEILD tutorialâ- Tipharot
#reality shifting#shifting#lucid dream method#lucid dreaming#shiftblr#desired reality#law of assumption#waiting room#void state#void#astral projection#lucid dream shifting#lucid dreams
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